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Thanks for bearing with!

Love,

Liz

XOXO

Hi friends!

How are you? Are you keeping yourself warm? As I sit down to write this, it is absolutely pouring in Los Angeles, and my lights have already flickered multiple times, so I’m trying to get my laptop time in now in case the power goes out. If it does go out, I guess I’ll have to just sit and read a book, poor me. My husband Ross just bought me a NSFW minotaur romance novel because he knows I read romance and it was actually very highly recommended on a comedy podcast he’d recently listened to, so I guess if the power goes out, ya girl is going to be reading some minotaur smut in the dark. Let’s all hope it doesn’t come to that.

Last Sunday, he and I had a great high-low culture date at the Americana, a bougie, ridiculous outdoor mall in the suburbs of Los Angeles. We got lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, the kind of enormous, 1600-calorie salads you can only get at a place like that. I got the “Chinese chicken salad” and was surprised they are even still calling it that. I thought there was a wave of renaming food items like that a few years ago to be something like “sesame soy chicken salad” because there is actually nothing authentically Chinese about them? Hire me to be the Cheesecake Factory menu’s sensitivity reader, stat!

Then we went to the movies afterwards and saw Miyazaki’s newest feature, The Boy and the Heron. It was really gorgeous! Full of cute little dudes and weird old ladies with giant heads, just as you’d want it to be. We saw the English dubbed version, and there were some interesting casting choices. Christian Bale, as the titular boy’s father, had the most bizarre accent–was it Boston? Welsh? New York? A mixture of all three? It was very odd to reconcile that strange accent with the Japanese character speaking in the animation. Luckily, his character wasn’t in it that much.

In between lunch and the movie, we had a bit of time to kill, so we walked around Barnes & Noble. I’m embarrassed to say that it’s been ages since I’ve actually wandered around a bookstore. What a pleasure that is! I get most of my books online, through Book of the Month or bookshop.org or the Kindle store, but in doing that, I miss out on inhaling that wonderful bookstore smell, seeing their curated shelves full of recommendations, flipping through the pages of a physical book, reading the cover copy, finding a passage that speaks to me and saying, “yes, this one,” then trying to whittle down the pile of books in my arms to a reasonable number of purchases to bring to the cashier. The best!!!

I ended up getting James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room, which I’m now a third of the way into, and, damn. It makes me want to be a better writer, one of serious prose. The thing about comedy and humor writing is that you always have to balance any moments of sincerity with a punchline, or people get uneasy. They start to think you might be making fun of them or playing a trick on them, or that you’re otherwise going in a direction they didn’t sign up for. I think David Sedaris is especially skilled with this balancing act. Most of us semi-intellectual clowns are always working on it.

My freshman year at Vassar, I wrote and directed a serious dramatic play that was three hours long, and I always point to that as the turning point when I decided to go into comedy. I haven’t read it in years, but I suppose there had to be some moments in it that were well-written; it was selected by a student theater group for production, after all. But overall, it was way too long and serious. It was called Made to Last, named after a Semisonic song, and it was about two young adult brothers who were formerly in a Hanson-like band together in their youth, and a young woman who forms sort of a love triangle with them. The younger brother dies, and the play flashes back and forth between the present day, when the older brother and the young woman are meeting together in a diner after the funeral, and moments from the past, when the younger brother was still alive.

Looking back on it now, I can clearly see that I was still processing my oldest brother’s untimely death six years prior and a devastating-at-the-time breakup with my high school boyfriend, and OMG, I cannot stop cringing. I’m sure everyone who saw it was like, “Hon, bring this to therapy, not to a black box theater.” That’s not even the worst part–said ex-boyfriend actually showed up at one of the performances and recognized the parts that were about him! I guess the info was in my AIM profile and he decided to drive over from his whole other college to check it out. I didn’t know until he messaged me afterwards that he’d been there. That’s when I learned not to ever write about people with Main Character Syndrome, because they enjoy it too much.

The biggest lesson I took away from directing that play, though, was that it just wasn’t very fun to spend so much time making something so heavy. When you make comedy, you just laugh the whole time, or are holding your breath trying not to so you don’t ruin a scene/take. You discover little magical tweaks that make moments even MORE funny and delightful. You get to play and improvise, and you know right away if a joke is not working, because the absence of laughter is very obvious.

I’m not saying that comedy is easier than drama, though, because I actually think it’s harder. This is something I frequently commiserate about with other comedy screenwriters; we have to do all the same things that drama writers do in terms of plot, structure, character arc, etc., but then we have to be funny on top of that. Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to write a crime procedural or something, and just slap a hard-living middle-aged woman with a drinking problem or a sex addiction at the center of it, instead of trying to build funny yet flawed comedic female characters. I suppose the grass is always greener, though. 

Let’s get into some things:

- Some housekeeping: we’re moving to beehiiv! They have some impressive functionality, and one of their co-founders was able to say publicly and unequivocally that Nazis are banned from their platform and they are anti-transphobia. It’s almost like… that’s easy to do? Imagine. I will have completed Like You Know Whatever’s migration by the time the next post goes out. So, heads up, the next newsletter will be coming to you from lizgalvao@mail.beehiiv.com. If you’d like some extra security, you can add that address to your contacts now. I’ll send a short follow-up through Substack to let you know that the newsletter went out, in case you need to hunt for it in your spam folder, and then we shall be done with Substack forevahhh! And as a reminder, you do not have to do anything in order to stay subscribed.

I’ve done a lot of research in the past year on various email newsletter platforms, both in a past professional role and for my personal newsletter, and I’m excited about beehiiv, because they offer some very powerful customization and functionality on the backend. And I’m of course very glad that they seem committed to not platforming hate speech. But to be perfectly honest, at this point, I don’t know that I have full faith in any tech company to operate ethically indefinitely. All we can do as writers is make the best choices available to us at the time, sometimes from very poor options.

I have chosen to stop paying for paid content through Substack, but I likely won’t be unsubscribing from the newsletters I read that are hosted there. I totally understand why a lot of writers with bigger subscriber numbers than mine want to stay at Substack: for one thing, it can cost a lot of money up front to host your newsletter on most of these other platforms, especially if you have several thousand subscribers or more, while Substack has zero upfront costs (they take a commission from your paid subscriptions instead). This meant monthly savings in the thousands of dollars when I was running numbers on relaunching a newsletter with hundreds of thousands of subscribers (not mine, lol).

Beauty writer Arabelle Sicardi recently laid out what it would cost them to leave Substack, and it was the difference between making their rent or not, cutting off their growth by 86% or not. I totally get that, and I’m not judging anyone who chooses to stay. But I will say this: as far as Substack being a problematic platform, I think it’s going to get worse, not better. There’s a pattern here, and a real lack of giving-a-shit amongst the higher-ups. When a company can’t even be shamed into doing the right thing for optics, you really know where their priorities lie. (Also, if you abbreviate their name, it’s literally SS. Come on.)

More transition details: As I mentioned in last week’s newsletter, I canceled all paid subscriptions last Friday, so if you haven’t gotten your refund yet, please reach out to me at lizgalvao@gmail.com and I’ll investigate. I am not going to be doing paid subscriptions moving forward, it just doesn’t make sense for the kind of writing I want to do. However, I will be encouraging folks who wish to support me and this newsletter financially to hit up my virtual tip jar, via my Venmo or Cash App. Details on that will be in the next newsletter. Thanks as always for your patience and support!

- True Detective: Night Country (HBO/Max). Hey everybody, True Detective is back! Wait, wait, come back! Alright, to be fair, I have not watched this series since we all got burned by season two (although I stand by my belief that Rachel McAdams did good work there under unfortunate circumstances), but the trailer for season four got me. Look, I don’t know why Nic Pizzolatto keeps getting second chances either. HBO just seems to be some sort of fellowship program for untested white dude showrunners. Isn’t it so wonderful to see this well-represented demographic being so lovingly nurtured? Aww!

Can I convince you to give this season a shot if I tell you that: a) Mexican filmmaker Issa Lopéz is the showrunner this time around, NOT Pizzolatto, b) it’s set in a remote town in Alaska during a period with no sunlight, c) Jodie Foster is the protagonist, and d) it’s reminiscent of The Thing meets Wind River? Eh? Eh? Well, listen, at least watch The Thing and Wind River, then, if you haven’t seen them yet. I’ll report back on True Detective when we’re further into the season, but so far, Jodie is wonderful, and I’m hooked.

- From time to time, one of you will say you wish I wrote more about current events, so here’s my take on a suuuper topical social media post from this week:

This kind of post is SO easy to make and I find it so incredibly condescending and insulting. Like, “silly women, worrying about your little movies, don’t you know there’s a war going on?” I don’t know if this person is directly addressing Hillary Clinton and her recent tweet or what, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say I think that one’s a lost cause. I just find what-aboutism to be the lowest form of political discourse, and this shit is always pointed at feminists, like we’re too dumb to engage on multiple different levels at once. May December was snubbed, too, but nobody’s yelling at the Charles Melton hive to stay focused on Gaza.

I get that a lot of people feel like they are screaming into a cold and uncaring void right now. But this kind of post serves only to shame, not to actually do anything effective. It’s not like there was information included here on how to actually help women who need these period products. (This organization was the best I could find for that specific mission, but Doctors Without Borders is always a good bet, too.) I’m also annoyed by the pink and blue color job they did on this picture. Like, really? You had to make an image of bombing fit your social media aesthetic? Yikes.

- One of you mentioned in the recent survey that you like hearing about my cat, so I’ll give you a little health update on Zadie. As many of you know, Zadie is our 12 year-old fluffy tuxedo cat who we’re obsessed with. Here’s a picture of her. She was a feral rescue who we adopted at a shelter on Long Island and came to live with us first in Brooklyn, then in Los Angeles, where we live now. She is sweet and clumsy and squeaky and friendly and cuddly, and has become progressively more of those things over the years (she’s laying in my lap purring right now as I type this). We absolutely adore her and she is definitely the #1 girl in this house.

In the past couple years, she’s had a recurring issue with her ears getting a black, waxy build-up in them. It makes her shake her head a lot and causes her discomfort to the point of not eating, which is no bueno, so we had to take her into the vet recently.

One thing about Zadie is that she is TERRIBLE in the car. She cries and howls in her carrier like she’s being horribly persecuted, and she tries to head-butt her way out of it, which is funny in a sad way. You’re only eight pounds, honey, that zipper ain’t moving! When we moved to this neighborhood, we were only in the car for 20 minutes driving over from our old place, and she started freaking out and panting while we were still on Los Feliz Blvd., the poor thing. She’s also peed in her carrier twice while in the car. If you think cat pee smells bad, try being inside a tiny metal box with it. Our vet is really annoying because they always put you on hold forever when you call, and they almost never have same-day appointments, but instead make you sign up as a walk-in and wait, and then they charge you a $70 walk-in fee. But the doctors are really good and thorough, and most importantly, it’s only a three minute drive from our home, which saves Zadie from a lot of suffering (and us, too, frankly).

After they washed out her ears and her bloodwork came back clean, they diagnosed her as having some kind of allergy, and gave us pills to give her and a solution to clean her ears with on a daily basis. The pills were no problem–luckily she LOVES cheese, and is so happy to get it, she doesn’t notice the pill smooshed inside it. But cleaning her ears is not fun. First of all, it’s definitely a two-person job. One person needs to hold her while the other person squirts solution into her ears and then rubs them with a cotton ball. Or, in theory, that’s how it works. What actually happens is that the instant a drop of liquid touches her ear, she shakes her head violently, spraying both of us, and then we have to try again two or three more times.

Throughout this whole wretched process, I just wish we could explain to her what’s going on. While she’s crying in her carrier, I try to speak to her in soothing tones, but I wish I could tell her, “Look, I know this is scary, but it isn’t going to take long, and then you’ll get lots of treats, and I’ll even turn on the space heater for you” (the space heater is her one true love). But no, the only words she understands are “eat,” “treat,” “cheese” (any “ee” sound means food, basically), “come UP,” “OFF,” “paw” (she can high five), and “Zadie.”

Here are some other things I wish I could tell or ask my cat:

1. “We’re going away for a few days, but we are DEFINITELY coming back! We promise!”

2. “If you don’t eat your food, we’re going to have to take you to the vet, and you won’t like it.”

3. “I’m mad about something you did hours ago that I just found out about!!”
   

4. “Can I please touch your paws? They’re so squishy and soft!”

5. “That’s actually not a toy.”
   

6. “This is NOT a good time for you to want to hang out in bed with us.”
   

7. “If we got another cat, would it ruin your life?”

8. “I’m so sorry I accidentally kicked you, I didn’t know you were by my feet!”

9. “Don’t crawl behind the couch, because it’s all dusty and I might squish you.”

10. “I love you! You’re my favorite cat!” (I do say this to her, like six times a day, but I don’t know if she understands it. 😢)

Okay, that’s about it for this week!

Don’t forget: the next newsletter will be coming to you from lizgalvao@mail.beehiiv.com!

If you’d like to be a real mensch, you can take the 2024 Like You Know Whatever Survey right here.

Until next time—see you on beehiiv!!

Love,
Liz
XOXO

Hello my darlings!

How are you doing? I’m doing quite swell! I just got back from a long weekend in Brooklyn where I attended, truly, the wedding of the year. I know it’s only January, but wrap it up engaged folks, because no one is outdoing this couple. There were so many little thoughtful details scattered throughout the event–like an audio guestbook on an old rotary phone, napkins honoring the couple’s late pets, and the staff bringing espresso martini shooters to the dance floor just to amp the dancing up that last notch. It would be easy to focus on things like the gorgeous, unique flowers, or the insane amount of food at cocktail hour, or the fact that the staff made sure my wine glass was never, ever empty, but what really made it a spectacular wedding was the beautiful, heartfelt ceremony. They had readings from James Baldwin and Frank O’Hara (soo New York!), and their personal vows, oh my god! I laughed, I cried, I felt truly honored to bear witness. I love their love! 😍

It also happened to be the most fashionable wedding I think I’ve ever attended? Everyone looked fucking awesome, and there was a lot more color than you’d expect at a New York winter wedding. The bride and groom are both very stylish people, so I guess we all felt the need to show out. I know that for me, as a Libra, wearing a great outfit to someone’s event is how I show the utmost respect. I wore this fuchsia tulle dress and these glitter boots which were actually super comfortable. I paired that outfit with some rhinestone hoops from an Etsy store that’s now defunct, eyeshadow from the Huda Beauty Rose Quartz palette, and this about-face lip butter which matched the dress. The only hitch was that I had just gotten my hair cut to a new length and couldn’t figure out what the fuck to do with it, so I threw it back into a sloppy mini bun. You know it was a good wedding because this was the only picture I got of myself in this look, in the cab on the way there:

While this was an extraordinarily well-crafted and executed event, I certainly don’t think all weddings need to be that way. I once attended a very DIY wedding where we had to drag our chairs across the grass from the ceremony to the reception and dinner was several hours late, and that was actually one of my favorite weddings I’ve ever been to, because it had such a touching sense of community, like an old-fashioned barn raising. It’s all about the people, people, not the top-shelf liquor or the big white dress (okay, sometimes it IS about the dress though–you should have seen how stunning my friend looked last Sunday! I still can’t get over her hair).

Since my husband Ross and I had just taken a trip to the New York area over Thanksgiving that was super family-focused, this trip was all about seeing friends for me. The day after the wedding, I got to catch up with a bunch of buds and some of their babies who I’d never gotten to meet before, and OMG, they were so cute!! Especially bundled up in the 17 layers required to insulate a baby for Brooklyn’s January weather. It is truly a trip to watch my friends who I have known since our debaucherous early 20s parent small humans now! I know I’m supposed to be the cool, easy breezy childfree aunt, but I am way more anxious in the presence of these kiddos than their parents are. They will just toss these babies around like little sacks of laundry and meanwhile I’m here with my hands up like, “Don’t you need a spotter for that?!”

Other highlights of this trip: Catching up with friends at the wedding who I haven’t seen in far too long! Getting to experience snow for the first time in years!! Hanging out with my friends’ adorable, snorty little pug puppy who is obsessed with attacking socks, whether on the floor or on my feet! Eating all the pizza and bagels and drinking all the east coast beer! Dancing to “Deceptacon,” my personal anthem, as the last song of the night at the wedding! (I was thoroughly touched about that one.)

Apologies for gushing over an event that most of you did not get to attend, it was just such a special day. But enough already, let’s get into some things:

- A bit of housekeeping: as part of my reevaluation of this newsletter and its future, I’ve decided to end the paid subscription program as of today. I tested it out for a year, and I am ultimately just not happy with the premium content I’ve been able to offer and the demands it placed on me. Also, I don’t want any more of your money to have to go to Substack. I’m going to set that cancellation into motion via Substack and Stripe later today*, and then pro-rated refunds will start happening through their automated system. I am not sure how quickly they will process—maybe give it until Monday.

If you have any issues with your refund whatsoever, like you think the amount is off or anything like that, PLEASE don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally at lizgalvao@gmail.com so I can make it right! I don’t have a lot of details on the refund process but I do NOT want anyone to feel cheated here. And thank you SO much for supporting me, whether you were a paid subscriber for one year or one day, it really means a lot to me!

I’ll have more info on Like You Know Whatever’s migration to a new email newsletter platform next week (because yes, we ARE moving). Stay tuned!

*This newsletter is pre-scheduled to go out at 9 a.m. Eastern/6 a.m. Pacific, when I am usually asleep, so please give me a couple of hours to take care of this. Thanks!

- Aquarius season starts tomorrow! Aquarians are creative, independent, humanitarian, intellectual, community-minded, out-of-the-box thinkers. One of the biggest misconceptions about Aquarius is that it is a water sign. I know, their symbol is the water bearer, it makes no sense, but Aquarians always defy expectations. They are actually an air sign, and therefore can be a bit thinky, detached, and aloof. They are ruled by Uranus, which is known in astrology for its unpredictability and for shaking things up when you least expect it, so expect the unexpected when you deal with an Aquarian. They are known for being free-spirited, rebellious, and nonconformist, with a stubborn streak. Aquarians make great artists, community leaders, and any role where they’re in charge of rallying a group. They are known for their people skills, but also known for being loners and somewhat distant in relationships. Aquarius just needs a lot of freedom and space to think things out sometimes.

Two of my dearest friends are Aquarian women, and what I love about them is how they Get. Shit. Done. while always rocking their cool, unique personal styles. I have worked on creative group projects with both of them, and truly, there is no better teammate for that situation than an Aquarian. They’ll bring ideas and insight and organizational skills but leave the ego at home. I also really admire how good my friends are with people. One of them I admire for being an incredible connector who’s helped me find multiple jobs, apartments, and friends over the years, while I admire the other one for always being two steps ahead of what’s cool in technology, music, movies, you name it. Also, one time I went to a joint birthday party for both of them in college where one of them fired a firework off her ass and had to borrow my Neosporin for a week (I let her keep it…). Like I said: free spirits!!

Famous Aquarians include Mozart, Abraham Lincoln, Bob Marley, Paul Newman, Harry Styles, Alicia Keys, Yoko Ono, Oprah Winfrey, Mahershala Ali, and David Lynch. Many of these people have committed much of their lives to humanitarian causes. Others, like Harry Styles, Alicia Keys, and Mahershala Ali, constantly resist categorization and defy our expectations. And I mean, my god, is there a more classic Aquarian man than David Lynch? His projects always have a unique but unmistakable personal style, and yet, you’ll never be able to predict where they go. He also created the David Lynch Foundation to bring meditation and mindfulness practices to schools and at-risk populations. Plus, he often collaborates with the same people, so you know that even though he’s a bit eccentric, he’s great to work with on a team.

So, how best to celebrate Aquarius season? For god’s sake, go see some art! Or live music, or a foreign film, or experimental theater! Start a group creative project! Wear something stylish but strange! Get lost in your own mind! Defy convention! Stubbornly stand by your ideals! Stay cool, feelings are for Pisces season!

And with that, I have officially covered every single zodiac sign in this newsletter! Wow! We did it, y’all.

- Traitors (Peacock). On the plane, I started watching season one of this reality competition show starring some of the most infamous characters from reality TV, and I really got sucked in! First of all, Alan Cumming is the host, and he does a fantastic job, in various fabulous tartan outfits. Secondly, it takes place at an incredible estate in Scotland, and the scenery is to die for. I think locations are very underrated as an aspect of reality competition shows. And finally, what other show could bring together Arie from The Bachelor, Brandi from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte? The first season also has “normie” people on it who are not reality TV stars, just people from professions that might make them especially good at sussing out liars. Supposedly. They mostly seem cool, but the half-and-half casting strategy is a bit strange. The series also has a second season with a cast that is ONLY reality TV stars, and I’m excited to catch up on that after I finish season one.

After binging The Devil’s Plan, I am just so into reality competition shows these days! Please share your favorites with me, if you have any!

- The Emmy Awards (FOX). While I was in Brooklyn, I was staying with my friend who writes for a celebrity and pop culture magazine and she had to watch the Emmys for work, so I ended up watching most of the show with her. How odd it was!! I’m no spring chicken, and they did SEVERAL segments honoring TV shows that aired before I was born! For me, it all just felt very dated and out of touch. Like, aren’t the Emmys supposed to be about honoring the best in new and current television? Why are we beating the dead horse that is Cheers nostalgia? And how come only two people were part of The Sopranos reunion? You’re telling me Steve Schirripa was busy that night?!

As always, my favorite part was getting to see all the LEWKS on the red carpet, although I agree with Evan Ross Katz that whoever designed the step and repeat backdrop needs to be banished from society. Hideous!!! Some of my favorite looks were from Bella Ramsey, Rachel Brosnahan, Ayo Edebiri, Jessica Williams, Ali Wong, and, of course, Princess Poppy’s goblin drag was incredible. I thought Jenna Ortega’s dress was stunning but I remain unconvinced that that is her color, I love Simona Tabasco’s dress but for a spring event, not for the Emmys in January, and I LOVED how much yellow-green and chartreuse was on the red carpet! I thought this event was a rare misstep for Quinta Brunson (the dress looked wrinkled and the color did nothing for her IMO), Aubrey Plaza’s dress was strange (although points for memeability, I guess?), and Suki Waterhouse’s weird apron + vagina bow was a big swing and a miss. My favorite speech was from Niecy Nash-Betts, who managed to be confident and vulnerable at the same time. Damn, does this mean I have to watch Dahmer now? Ugh.

- First Lie Wins by Ashley Elston. The first new thriller I finished this year turned out to be a fantastic one! First Lie Wins is about an undercover criminal agent who assumes various fake identities to pull off different jobs for her boss. She’s in the middle of a new job and kind of falling for the mark when she’s introduced to a woman who has an identity she’s very familiar with… because it’s her own, true identity! That’s just the beginning of the twists and turns this story takes, and I loved them all! A truly well-written book with some very memorable characters. Even if you don’t normally like thrillers, I think you would probably like this one, because it’s not super murder-y or gory.

- Spike Lee: Creative Sources at the Brooklyn Museum. My buddy from the Vassar film program and I had a free afternoon in Brooklyn the day before the wedding, so we decided to check out the new Spike Lee exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. After all, who’s more Brooklyn than Spike Lee? It was interesting to compare this exhibit to the one for John Waters that I went to a few months back at the Academy Museum in Los Angeles. This exhibition was based around sources of inspiration for Lee’s films, rather than being a straight-forward retrospective of his work, so there was less memorabilia from the films themselves like costumes, props, etc. and more personal items like photographs of family members and Black art. There was a very large portion of the exhibit dedicated to Lee’s relationship with sports and different athletes that did not do much for me, but seemed impressive (he sure owns a lot of signed jerseys!). Overall, I think I would have preferred a more traditional retrospective, but I’m very glad I went to this one. The exhibition is only running through February 11th, so get your ass over there soon if you want to see it! (You’ll need to buy a special ticket for it, but it includes general admission to the rest of the museum.)

- Twilight x ColourPop. So, ColourPop did a collab with the Twilight movie franchise, and it sold out in minutes, which sucks, because I actually kind of wanted a lot of this collection? Don’t get me wrong, I think Twilight is dumb as hell, but I love the gloomy, earthy aesthetic here, like the damp, misty woods of the PNW. The lavender highlighter looks gorgeous, I want all the lip oils, and I’ve been obsessing over finding a dupe for that shifty forest green shade in the eyeshadow palette (“Lion & Lamb”). They are supposed to do a restock, but the Twihards sold out the first round so quickly, I don’t have much hope for snagging any of this. Overall, though, I have to say, well done, ColourPop! I think this is a beautiful collection and a great way for them to kick off 2024. What did you think of the collab?

And that’s about it for this week! Please remember to take the reader survey if you haven’t already, it’s real quick! I’ll be back next week with a whole new newsletter.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top.

Until next time—hope you are having as fabulous of a January as I am!

Love,
Liz
XOXO

I hope you’re doing well! Would you mind doing me a quick favor? Would you please take the 2024 Like You Know Whatever Reader Survey? It should only take about three minutes to complete, and all the questions are optional. This feedback will really help me as I look toward the future of this newsletter and shop for a new platform. I may share some results anonymously in a future newsletter.

Here’s that link to the survey one more time.

Thanks so much! I’ll be back with a regular newsletter on Friday.

Love,
Liz
XOXO

How’s it going? How has 2024 been for you so far? I can’t really complain. On the day this goes out, I will be flying out to New York City to attend a lovely winter wedding in Brooklyn and catch up with some friends. I’ll be staying with some buds who have a wiggly little pug puppy (!!), so obviously, I’m very excited about that. I’m also very excited for this wedding. It’s for a couple who are both award-winning producers, so you know shit’s going to be tight. The bride has been a dear friend of mine since we were both in the same film program in college, and her sense of style is playful, colorful, and impeccable, so I can’t wait to see what she wears! They are both immensely talented and cool people, and I’m very happy for them. Also? They shared a Pinterest board of inspiration for wedding guest outfits, and wow, do I wish more people would do that! You know I made sure to have a really good outfit for this wedding!

The beginning of this year has been pretty productive so far. We called maintenance to come fix something in one of our bathrooms that has literally been broken since we moved in. We just got used to it and learned to work around it and that’s just the way it was. Well, maintenance finally came out and took a look at it, and they fixed the problem in less than 10 minutes. Not to get all metaphorical on you, but it makes me consider what else in my life I’ve gotten used to that could be fixed with about 10 minutes of effort.

Creatively, I have been feeling like I want to start a new project, even though there are a couple of other ones I’d like to finish first. Isn’t that always the way, though? The brainstorming stage at the beginning of a project is my favorite part, and what I most imagined being a writer would look like: staring out the window, dreaming up a story to tell. Jazz plays on the record player while steam drifts from my mug of black coffee (pourover, of course). A bird lands on a branch outside, the fluttering of its wings sparking a new wave of inspiration, and I type furiously, the keys of my vintage typewriter making a satisfying, mechanical clackety-clack! I sit back and admire my work. I have done it: I have written the Great American Screenplay.

But the truth is that I don’t even own a single jazz record. I almost always write on my smudgey laptop now, hunched over, in old sweatpants and no bra, sometimes with my cat happily drooling in my lap. It’s never quite as picturesque as my fantasies.

Before we get into some things, let’s address the shitty, Nazi-platforming elephant in the room: Substack. I sure do NOT love their hands-off content moderation strategy, my dudes!!! I have also had issues with some other clunky and limiting things on the backend. I moved to Substack in March of 2022 from TinyLetter (which is being shut down; way to buy that one out just to run it into the ground, Mailchimp!), so I wasn’t really looking to hop to another platform so soon, but I also don’t want to feel icky and gross about the platform hosting my writing. That’s not my style (hence, why I am no longer on Twitter/X/Muskville, USA).

So, for the time being, I am actively shopping for a new newsletter platform, and I have paused billing on paid subscriptions until I can figure out what the fuck is going on. Here’s what I can promise you:

• If/when I move to a new platform, you will not have to do anything in order to stay subscribed. I’ll just import my subscriber list and keep on keepin’ on.

• While billing is paused, no one will be charged, and no annual paid subscriptions will be renewed.

• Likewise, while billing is paused, all new content will be free (yay!).

• If there are any major changes to paid subscriptions (like, say you just paid for a year’s premium subscription in December and I decide to move to a platform that doesn’t do paywalled content), I will refund any difference, prorated, to the appropriate parties, including the percentage Substack took.

Thank you for bearing with me during this period of uncertainty and, frankly, ickiness. This newsletter is going to hit 10 years (!!) of existence in some form or another in May, and I do not want to go into our tenth year together with these kinds of questions lingering. Nor do I want to jump over to another platform just to have a bunch of issues with that one pop up five minutes later. Honestly, I wish I didn’t NEED a platform at all in order to send out this newsletter, but there are too many of you, and it would break my Gmail, which is ultimately a wonderful problem to have. ❤️ Thank you again for sticking around.

If you’re a Substack writer interested in reading more about this subject, Caitlin Kunkel recently shared some thoughts on Substack and the issues with their supposed “best practices” in her newsletter Input/Output that I thought were great, very thought-provoking. I also liked this post from Tom Pendergast that Caitlin shared about issues with Substack’s paid subscription model. And way back in April, Adam Cecil wrote about why a Substack exit strategy is a good idea to have in his newsletter Night Water. (All of these newsletters are currently hosted on Substack.)

Alright, now let’s get into some things:

- Last weekend, my husband Ross and I went to see the Luna Luna art exhibition in downtown Los Angeles. Luna Luna is an “art amusement park” that was first created by Austrian artist André Heller and originally exhibited in Hamburg, Germany in the summer of 1987. It featured carnival rides and installations from artists like David Hockney, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Keith Haring, Roy Lichtenstein, and even Salvador Dalí (one of his final works before he died). However, after the summer of 1987, it was all disassembled and confined to a bunch of shipping containers which were lost over time and never exhibited again… until now!

I really enjoyed this exhibition, because it combined several things I love: pop art, whimsy, large scale installations, and the rescue of something previously thought lost to history. I mean, who doesn’t want to see a ferris wheel made by Jean-Michel Basquiat, or a Keith Haring carousel? Some of the installations also had original music composed by people like Miles Davis and Philip Glass. One major thing to note is that sadly, you cannot ride the rides there, even though people could ride them at the original park. I am totally in favor of preserving these pieces as much as possible, but sometimes it was a bummer to feel like we didn’t get the full experience that visitors got in 1987. For example, Roy Lichtenstein created a “hall of mirrors” that no one was allowed to walk through, we could only look at it from the outside. That was a disappointment, because it felt like we didn’t get the full impact of that piece. But overall, it was a very cool place to visit.

If you want to go, they just added tickets extending the exhibition through the first weekend in March, but I have no idea if it will be extended beyond that, so act quickly! You can get tickets on their website here.

- Cooking! I made a strata for New Year’s Day with pancetta, mushrooms, and gruyere based on this recipe, and it was so nice on America’s Biggest Hangover Day to just wake up, pop something in the oven, and have a delicious hot, cheesy, carby breakfast 45 minutes later. The hardest part was waiting for it to be done! Later that week, I also made rigatoni with Claire Saffitz’s (of Bon Appetit) easy vodka sauce recipe, and damn, what a great recipe! It’s the kind of dish that you make once and then don’t even need the recipe anymore, it’s so intuitive. I threw in some chopped up chicken breast that I’d made in the air fryer for some protein. I’m trying to use my air fryer more this year. I’m pretty sure I didn’t use it once all last year, and it’s too big of an appliance to sit neglected on the shelf.

Then, last Sunday, I made panang curry, which is probably my household’s go-to Thai curry order. We used to live in Thai Town and have access to the most incredible Thai food in L.A., but in our new neighborhood, we have yet to find a satisfactory replacement. That recipe was actually very easy to make, because it made use of a store-bought curry paste (I got mine on Amazon—warning: it’s a bit spicy). The only change I made was using chicken thighs instead of breasts, because I think they hold up better in braises and stews. I served the curry over white rice made in our rice cooker and the whole thing was surprisingly quick and easy, which is great, because now I have a ton of panang curry paste in my fridge that I’ll have to use up by making this a lot!

And then, on Wednesday, I made the Serious Eats version of pasta e ceci, or pasta and chickpeas. I wanted to try this because I saw someone refer to it on another recipe as “double carbs,” a rare phenomenon in cooking that I am always down for (potato and egg subs, here’s lookin’ at you, kid). This is the ultimate cheap, vegetarian, clean-out-your-refrigerator meal, because it mostly uses pantry staples, and you can easily throw in some greens you have laying around, some canned tomatoes, or maybe even some sausage from your freezer. It’s super tasty and easy, and I can’t help but think it would be a terrific winter hangover cure: pasta, olive oil, cheese, protein, a salty broth… am I way off base here? Someone try it and let me know, please!

- This reel by Elaine Carroll (of Very Mary-Kate) so perfectly captures what it feels like to try to make comedy while the world is on fire, I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry.

- I recently became the last pop culture writer on Earth to join the movie review site Letterboxd! You can follow me here. I have been watching a lot of movies lately, and it’s fun to see what friends and acquaintances think of them.

- Godzilla Minus One (in theaters). Holy shit! I went into this movie expecting a fun popcorn monster movie, and that is definitely NOT what I got, although I loved what it turned out to be instead, which is a meditation on trauma in post-WWII Japan. Y’all, it’s like… a REAL movie. This was also the first time that Godzilla was actually scary to me. Normally, you’re kind of rooting for him to go smashy-smashy, stompy-stompy, roar like a rooster, and shoot his little laser beam thingy. In this movie, all of that was made genuinely horrifying, and especially tragic in the wake of Tokyo rebuilding after WWII. It was definitely the best kaiju movie I’ve ever seen, and I’m excited for the potential impact this could have on the future of monster movies. It’s truly raised the bar. (Also: it was made for less than $15 million? How?! It looks so good!)

- The Holdovers (Peacock). Watching this movie was like reading a novel, to the extent that I was shocked when I found out it was not based on a book. Sideways is one of my favorite movies of all time, so I was pretty pumped for the reunion of Alexander Payne and Paul Giamatti. I love Paul Giamatti. I used to see him all the time when I lived in Brooklyn, and then he did The Chris Gethard Show, and I loved him even more. I would love to see him win an Oscar for this role as a curmudgeonly private school teacher put in charge of the “holdover” students staying over the school’s winter break, but I fear that smaller, quieter stories like this one are usually overlooked for ones like Oppenheimer, which is quite literally louder and flashier. I liked this movie a lot, but like so many of Payne’s films, it had a real melancholiness to it. Sometimes he is able to balance that melancholy out with humor (Sideways, Election), but sometimes not, and I felt that this movie was in the “not” category. Still, Da’Vine Joy Randolph’s performance as a grieving mother was one of the best of the year, and she has been turning out LOOKS on the red carpet. I look forward to seeing more of her awards season ‘fits.

- Poor Things (in theaters). I was asked to review this movie for BUST Magazine’s winter issue, which means I was fortunate enough to get to see it early in a press screening way back in September. I know this is not very cinephile of me, but my usual preference is to stream movies at home, but I am so glad that I got to see these visuals on a big screen. Emma Stone’s costumes alone are so stunning, and the sets are insane! I loved the movie and gave it a five-star review (out of five). I thought it was hilarious, weird, whimsical, creative, and unique, with outstanding performances, especially from Emma Stone and Mark Ruffalo (did we know he could be that funny?). But when I sent it off to my editor, there still was a big question in my mind of how this film would be received by the majority of people. SPOILERS to follow, so please be warned!

The fact that Bella finds liberation through sex–SO much sex, shot with so much frank nudity–could definitely be seen as the male gaze masquerading as third wave feminism. Or, putting aside any intellectual ideas, people could just be offended and disgusted by the amount of sex and sex work and female pleasure in this movie. (Though, if you’ve seen The Favourite, I don’t think that should be all too surprising.) The movie currently has a 93% critic score on Rotten Tomatoes, so it turns out that most critics loved it, but I do understand why it wouldn’t be someone’s cup of tea. If you saw the movie, what did you think?

- Saltburn (Prime Video). This movie is a perfect example of “what if there was a weird guy” cinema. My husband saw this in theaters way before I did and warned me about all the gross scenes in it, but I love stories about rich, fucked up families and was curious about Emerald Fennell’s follow up to Promising Young Woman, so I streamed it last Sunday. I feel like it’s not cool to like Promising Young Woman, but I loved it. I reread the screenplay this week, and I think it’s wonderful. She nails such a difficult tone to achieve, a darkness without heaviness. Anyway, I thought Saltburn was nowhere near as fully realized or well executed of a concept as PYW. I also don’t know why all her films have to have “gotcha” endings–Saltburn had the least surprising “twist” of the year, that’s for sure. At the same time, and not to sound like a mom at a sketch comedy show, but it certainly was…  different. And I can appreciate that. Once again I would love to know: what did you think?

- Killers of the Flower Moon (for rent on Prime Video, other places). This movie was fine, Lily Gladstone was wonderful. Can I just say one thing? I find it so dumb that Martin Scorsese refuses to just make a goddamn TV mini-series already. It’s total snobbery, is what it is. You can’t tell me that this story wouldn’t have been better told as a limited series. It’s based on a 352-page book with a lot of moving parts. As an artist, I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t want your story to be told in the best possible format. I’m so tired of stubborn old men in this industry and their pride. UGH!

- The Devil’s Plan (Netflix). I decided to check out this Korean reality competition show because comedy writer Seth Rubin named it their favorite show of the year in their best of 2023 newsletter (subscribe to Flannel!). They said, “Every contest had so many rules,” which made me laugh once I actually started watching the show, because: exactly. I don’t often feel dumb when watching reality TV, but this show pushed me there, because every challenge would start with like 20 minutes of rules-explaining, during which my eyes would glaze over and I would start to question how much of my brain matter that was supposed to have math in it actually contains quotes from ancillary Housewives characters (“Did you know? $25,000” lives in my head rent-free). I love games, of the board and non-board variety alike, but I never really grasp the rules 100% until people actually start playing and I see them in action.

Anyway, The Devil’s Plan is a lot of fun if you like strategy-based games, cliffhangers, and moral questions about whether it is more righteous to save the weaker players or let them fail, is an alliance still an alliance when it makes up 85% of the group, and did Seok-jin and See-won have a thing going?? (Okay, the last one is less of a moral question and more just me being nosey for gossip.) Thought-provoking, for sure!

- The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, season four (Peacock). What a rich tapestry of traumas and betrayals this show has woven! This season was excellent, one of, if not THE, best Housewives seasons of all time, and that was even before the bombshell finale. Prestige dramas could never!!! I’m not going to give away any spoilers, although I think it’s been very hard to avoid them. I’m just going to say that if you have any interest in middle aged women wrestling with secrets, narcissistic mothers, religious trauma, and being deceived by morally repugnant former friends, this is the show for you! I would advise you to start from the beginning so you can see how deep these threads go, but if that’s too much homework for you, just watch this last season. It’s one for the history books.

And that’s it for this week!

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top.

Until next time—give the cast of RHOSLC all the awards.

Love,
Liz
XOXO

P.S.
If you happen to have any advice on a new newsletter platform, please reach out! I am currently testing Ghost and beehiiv, but am open to anything a) unproblematic and b) affordable, in that order.

How are you doing? Happy New Year’s Eve! Do you have any big plans? My husband Ross and I will be heading to a friend’s place on the east side tonight, bearing sparkling wine and crispy prosciutto and brie crostini and pigs in blankets. Otherwise, we usually just chill at home and watch movies, because my days of coughing up the money to go out somewhere have been over since my 20s. Who wants to pay hundreds of dollars to scrabble for watered down drinks with people they don’t even know? Yuck!

Putting aside global events for a second (which I know is… a lot), when I personally look back on this year in my life, I have contradictory feelings. On paper, it was not a good year for me. I got laid off, and had family members with serious health issues. One of those things alone could easily cause me to write off a year. But when I think about how 2023 feels, it doesn’t feel joyless to me. I have a lot of happy memories associated with this year. I did so, so much writing. I got to go out to Joshua Tree by myself to write and focus only on my creative work two different times. I got to spend a lot of quality time with my and Ross’s families. I had a ridiculous weekend in Las Vegas with friends when I got to see both Magic Mike Live and the Meow Wolf installation there! I made some serious progress in therapy. I WENT TO FUCKING JAPAN!

This is the final newsletter in my “best of the year” series. You can read all of them here. This newsletter features a resolution recap, my personal best of the year awards in pop culture and other things, and my predictions for what will be in and out in 2024. It’s a long one, so let’s just get right into it:

A Resolution Recap

Ready to take a look at my resolutions for 2023 and see how I did? It may surprise you…

1. “Be active at least twice a week, every week.” This might seem like a low bar to some, but for me, healing my relationship with exercise has been what you might call a “journey,” and it started from zero. I made a lot of progress on that this year, so I’m going to give myself the point here.

2. “Eat more produce.” Yes, I did! I got way more into seasonal cooking when the weather warmed up, and used a lot of seasonal produce.

3. “Continue to grow as a home cook and try new recipes and cuisines (maybe explore vegan cooking?).” Well, I grew as a home cook in so much as anyone grows when they do something a lot, but I stayed very inside my comfort zone when it came to different cuisines. I’m going to give myself a half point for this.

4. “Go out more often–to restaurants, the movies, the beach, shows, etc.” I think I went out about as much as I did last year, so that’s probably a miss for this one.

5. “Travel to three new places.” I am lucky that I went to three new cities in Japan (Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka), because otherwise, I wouldn’t have made this one at all.

6. “Do one thing that scares me.” I took a 12 and a half hour flight!!! That’s a yes!

7. “Publish a newsletter every two weeks.” Not including this one, I have sent out 42 newsletters this year! That’s a resounding win!

8. “Read 23 books in 2023, including three novels.” Let’s see.. I read 20 books in 2023: 11 romance, six thrillers, two novels, and one young adult novel. So, I didn’t make this goal, but I came pretty close! (You can see all the books & follow me on Goodreads here.)

9. “Complete a writing project.” Yes! I finished a screenplay this year that went on to place in four different writing competitions! Woo!

10. “Do at least one major decluttering of my home office and my clothes by the end of the year.” Yup! I did this in the spring!

11. “Donate at least $500 to various causes over the year.” This was the one I had zero confidence in making happen, because $500 felt like a lot of money. I also was unemployed for nearly half the year, so I was not able to donate as much as I would have liked to in the summer and fall. But I’ll be completely transparent here, because why not? Through recurring monthly donations, I donated $300 to the Vassar College Financial Aid Fund, $180 to different local teachers on DonorsChoose, and $120 to the Ferguson Public Library. I gave one-off donations of $30 to a Maui Mutual Aid Fund and $50 to Save the Children, and donated $50 in gifts through the Transanta project. Ross and I also donated together to an animal conservation fund in honor of a dear friend’s parent who passed away this year, but I’d prefer to keep those details private. 

So, excluding that donation, that is a total of $730 donated this year! The recurring donations really made that happen, which is food for thought. I’m definitely going to be reevaluating where and how I gift my money next year. I don’t love that I gave the most to Vassar, after all, do they really need more of my money?

So, drum roll please: where does this leave me with resolutions overall? I completed eight and a half resolutions out of 11 this year! 77%! DAMN! That’s way better than I normally do! I am pretty proud of myself!

Even though I didn’t complete ALL of my resolutions for 2023, I still accomplished a lot of other things in the meantime. I always think it’s important to take inventory at the end of the year. Here are some things I did that weren’t on my list:

- Set up a cloud backup for all the photos on my phone

- Had a screenplay place in four different competitions

- Was interviewed by two different online magazines

- Wrote my first film review and now I’m on Rotten Tomatoes! Certified fresh baby!

- Learned some Japanese

- Flew across the country WITHOUT KLONOPIN on a six-hour flight!!! That’s the first time I’ve done a flight that long unmedicated in at least 10 years!

- Flew (with Klonopin) on two flights over 10 hours long!!!!!

- Went to Asia for the first time! Yayy new continent!

- Crossed Japan off my bucket list

- Also went to Mexico City, Joshua Tree, Las Vegas, San Diego, San Francisco, and New York

- Read some great books

- Saw some great movies

- Listened to some great music

- Mostly stopped judging myself for what I choose to indulge in, pop culture-wise

- Saw some artists perform live who I’ve wanted to see since high school!

- Wrote almost every day!

- Managed to survive for almost six months on unemployment (with lots of help from my husband, of course, but still!)

- Did weekly therapy all year!

- Discussed some topics in therapy I’ve never gotten into before (body & food stuff)

- Wore a bikini on the beach in PUBLIC!!! (if you don’t get what a big deal that is, I’m honestly very happy for you)

- Went to two weddings back to back on the same weekend!

- Cooked more than last year, saving us some money

- Spent less money at Sephora and more on indie brands, which I think is good

- Did NOT spend enough money at Sephora to be VIB Rouge, anyway

- DID NOT GET COVID THIS YEAR!!! Yay for boosters and good luck!!

- Made it through two strikes and bitch I’m still here

- Made it through a lot of other discouraging and upsetting shit this year

- Did not give up, lol

- One more time because it bears repeating: DID. NOT. GIVE. UP. ❤️

Here are my…

Resolutions for 2024:

1. Do at least one major cleanout of the fridge, freezer, and pantry.

2. Cook and eat more seasonally.

3. Cook at least three new dishes that are not vaguely American or Italian.

4. Continue to grow as a baker and bake new things.

5. Try at least three new restaurants in Los Angeles County.

6. Travel outside of California at least three times (New York trips can only count ONCE).

7. Complete a polished, full-length draft of my screenplay Reunion.

8. Read 24 books in 2024, including three novel-y novels.

9. Do more things outdoors & get out of the house at least three times a week.

10. Move my body more than last year & continue to heal my relationship with exercise.

*Like You Know Whatever Presents: The Very Best of 2023*

Here is my list of the very best new-to-me things I tried in 2023 (you can find last year’s list here–I removed the paywall). The pop culture stuff (movies, TV shows, music) was all released for the first time in 2023, but not necessarily everything else. I’m going to try not to write much about each item because I’ve written about most of them in this newsletter before, and this list would be 15,000 words long.

Let’s get into it:

Favorite Outfit: Unique Vintage Pastel Rainbow Checkered Golightly Flare Dress ($110). I wore it for a spring wedding where the dress code was “colorful cocktail” and it was just perfect!

Favorite Shoes: My classic checkerboard Vans! ($60) I’m on my second pair!

Favorite Gift Received: Ross got me an absolutely gorgeous rose gold necklace from Padani Jewelers for our 7th anniversary this year. But I think my favorite gift was actually the stuffed hot dog he brought me back from a Dodgers game he went to over the summer. We call him Mr. Dodger Dog and every time I catch his eye in my office (he has a face), he makes me laugh.

Best New-To-Me L.A. Restaurant: Villa’s Tacos smashed it. I believe they opened their first brick-and-mortar shop this year after winning L.A. Taco’s Taco Madness competition like a million times in a row for their stand on York Boulevard. They were also awarded a Michelin Bib Gourmand this year. Their papas tacos with the cheese crust?? Unreal!! Plus, I’ve followed the owner on Instagram for a while now, and he is so upbeat and positive and grateful for all the success, I just love his energy.

Best New-To-Me Non-L.A. Restaurant: Ramen Sen-No-Kaze in Kyoto, Japan. We stumbled onto this little ramen shop while looking for somewhere to eat on a rainy night in Kyoto, and it was my favorite ramen I had in Japan. We waited outside under the awning while the rain dripped down and jazz played, and it was such a vibe. Then, for about ten bucks, I got a huge bowl of ramen with a delicious miso-based broth and this perfectly charred char siu that gave it all a wonderful smoky flavor, plus five pieces of gyoza on the side. Topped that off with some warm sake and a cold beer and I was in heaven.

Best Meal: Tsukiji Itadori Unitora in Tokyo, Japan. This is a small restaurant in the Tsukiji fish market that specializes in uni. We came by around nine in the morning and still waited in line for an hour to get in. The uni was outstanding, but the fatty tuna sashimi brought me to a higher plane of existence. It was the best sashimi of my life, no fucking contest. Melted in my mouth like butter. I didn’t even know tuna could be like that. It’s ruined me for life, no doubt.

Best Snack: Kroger brand neapolitan ice cream sandwiches ($2.99)

Best Noodle: Cavatappi. Perfect for mac and cheese.

Best Cocktail: The whiskey sour I had at Frontier Bar in Kyoto, Japan. Best whiskey sour I’ve ever had. It was made with a special brown sugar from Yonaguni Island, which I think was the key.

Drunkest Night: A random night out in March when Ross and I went too hard at a wine bar in walking distance from our apartment. We were ordering carafes to be “economical” while all our friends were ordering glasses. Sloppy mistake. Oops.

Best Trip: Come on. I went to fucking Japan this year. Could anything else compare?

Best Art Exhibit: Meow Wolf’s Omega Mart in Las Vegas, NV

Best Book: None of This is True by Lisa Jewell. An outstanding psychological thriller with complex, flawed female characters and unreliable narrators.

Worst Book: Happy Place by Emily Henry. I love a lot of her books, but this one was just miserable.

Best Song: “Padam Padam” by Kylie Minogue

Best Album: Gag Order by Kesha

Best App: Patreon actually improved its app a lot this year. Credit where it’s due!

Worst App: It’s not on my phone anymore, but I’m pretty sure Twitter continues to take the cake!

Worst Day: Definitely the day I found out my dad had a stroke. (Luckily, he has pretty much fully recovered now!!)

Best Day: It’s too hard to choose between any of the days that I was in Japan, so I’ll say my birthday was very nice this year. It was a low-key day that included dinner with my husband at my favorite restaurant and a strawberry cheesecake from Porto’s.

Best Live Show: Magic Mike Live in Las Vegas, NV

Best Concert: Weezer in Berkeley, CA

Best Live Comedy Show: The Groundlings in West Hollywood

Best Movie: Poor Things (in theaters). So weird and sexual and funny and wonderful.

Worst Movie: Reporting for Christmas (Hulu)

Scariest Movie: Is it terrible to say that nothing really scared me this year?

Most Fun Movie: A tie between M3GAN (Prime Video) & Barbie (Max)

Best TV Show: I guess I’ll go with Beef (Netflix), although I don’t feel especially passionate about it. Tough year for scripted TV.

Worst TV Show: Everything that got delayed because of the strikes (Severance season two, I need you!!)

Best Comedy TV Show: Jury Duty (Prime Video)

Best Reality Competition TV: Top Chef: World All-Stars (Peacock)

Best Dating Reality TV: A tie between The Ultimatum: Queer Love (Netflix) & The Golden Bachelor (Hulu)

Best Housewives Reality TV: Welcome to Crappie Lake (Peacock)

Biggest Splurge: A weekend in Las Vegas in early May. Vegas is so damn expensive!

Best Money Spent: Taking an Uber to Santa Monica to spend a beach day with my best gal pal right after I got laid off. And therapy.

Worst Money Spent: AppleTV+. We didn't watch anything on it but I kept forgetting to cancel it!

Biggest Win: Not having a major depressive episode this year, lol 🤪

Biggest Fail: Trying to write something all-encompassing about Israel and Palestine

Biggest Regret: Missing my dear friend’s wedding due to Covid concerns

Most Grateful For: My dad’s recovery from his stroke, other loved ones being in good/better health.

In & Out for 2024

OUT:

- Millennials being bullied by Gen Z for their fashion choices (embrace the uncoolness)

- No-makeup makeup

- Cool “Barbie” pinks

- Minimalism

- Color theory

- Tiktok diagnoses

- Blaming everything on your trauma

- Feeling bad about not owning a home

- Cover letters

- Vacationing in Europe

- (this is a bold one) Ozempic

IN:

- “Going out” tops (they had to come back sometime)

- Building a look around one bold statement piece

- Warm tones

- Big jewelry

- Grid posts on Instagram

- Rewatching The Sopranos

- Tattoos

- Renting

- Some new terrible prescription medication, probably

- Some new diet thing that’s marketed as not being a diet thing

- Using all your vacation time

- Depression & anxiety (it’s an election year)

And there we have it! I hope you enjoyed reading this series as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Before I sign off for the year, I would just like to thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for reading my dumb thoughts in this newsletter week after week. It means a lot to me that so many of you have stuck with me for another year, and some of you even choose to pay for this content! Sending so much love to you all as we close this chapter.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top.

Until next time—happy new year, and may 2024 bring only good things. ❤️

Love,
Liz
XOXO

How are you? I’m doing pretty well! My jet lag from our trip to Japan has mostly dissipated by now, and I am feeling really happy to be back in Los Angeles. Honestly, I was feeling a bit ambivalent about the city before we left, feeling run down by our shitty neighbors and my shitty year with the entertainment industry and my shitty odds of ever owning a home here. But then I came back, and was filled with a newfound gratitude for this ridiculous, dreamy city. I had to run an errand for a friend, and I met a guy with a gorgeous husky who told me a funny story about how the barbecue restaurant down the street gave them bones and extra food for the dog all the time and he was like hey, I would like some pulled pork, too, and that kind of neighborliness warmed my heart. Then, later, I was driving back to my apartment, and the way the clouds were sitting over the mountains took my breath away. It’s easy to sit in traffic on the highway and swear about how ugly the city is, but there are so, so many parts of it that are drop-dead gorgeous. Plus, so many of my friends live here, and I’m so excited to get to hang out with them again.

Today happens to be my husband’s birthday! Ross is my favorite person in this universe and probably a lot of the other ones, too. I have known him more than half my life (WOW!), and have been lucky enough to be his partner for 14 years. I love his sense of humor, his bluntness, his incredible kindness and compassion that he tries to hide with a brash, sarcastic exterior. I love how much he loves animals and how often he sends me cute animal videos (daily). I love his loyalty to the useless fucking New York Jets even though they’re terrible every year, because it means he is loyal to a fault even when no one is watching, a very good quality to have in a life partner. I love his big green eyes, the freckles on his nose, his weirdly perfect hands and feet*, and I’m going to stop before this starts getting really sickening. Today I will be driving him all the way across town to have lunch at his favorite pizza place, which is on the west side, so you know I really love him. He only reads this newsletter sporadically because he already knows everything that’s happening in my life, but Ross, in case you decided to read this one: happy birthday! I love you. Stop rolling your eyes.

* He could seriously be a hand/foot model. One time, years ago, we were on a weekend away in Palm Springs and one of our friends was on molly, and Ross had his bare feet up on the couch, and our friend became transfixed by how nice they were. His feet are so perfect, even people on drugs recognize it!

Since we’ve been back from vacation, I have gotten back into cooking, which has been really nice and grounding. The first few days back, I was so tired and out of it, I was afraid I would chop my finger off or set the apartment on fire if I had to do anything more complicated than microwaving an Amy’s. The food in Japan was obviously amazing, but it’s been really nice to eat some home cooked meals after only eating out for so long. 

Speaking of home cooked meals, I took a full inventory of everything I cooked for the first time in 2023 and decided to crown the very best of the best! Shall we get into it?

*Like You Know Whatever Presents: The Very Best RECIPES of 2023*

Here is my list of the best recipes that I made for the first time this year (you can see last year’s list here). Please note, these recipes were NOT published for the first time this year, I just found them and made them for the first time this year. They are ranked according to my very subjective ranking system that weighs multiple factors including deliciousness (most important), eatability, effort-to-result ratio, and the number of times I made them this year. Enjoy!

Honorable Mention: Turkey Pesto Meatballs and Orecchiette. Technically, I made this dish for the first time in 2022, but I made it so many times in 2023 that I thought it was worth mentioning… honorably. This dish is really easy to make because you roast the meatballs and veggies together on a sheet pan and then just throw everything together with the pasta at the end. My favorite memory of this meal was making it for my parents when I went to stay with them for a week in the spring after my dad had a stroke. They loved it! My dad had been grousing about having to eat healthier post-stroke and I was really proud that I could make him something with lean meat and lots of veggies that was still super flavorful (and I even cut the salt way down, too).

#5: Easy Green Olive Pasta. I originally made this recipe because my husband, the olive-hater, was out of town, and I wanted to make something special for myself that he wouldn’t enjoy. This spaghetti could not be simpler, but it’s irresistible. Salty and briny green Castelvetrano olives marry with butter and garlic and lemon and you think you’re going to need something more, like a bunch of parmesan cheese or maybe some herbs, but you don’t need anything, it’s simple perfection. The lemon juice and pasta water emulsify with the butter and oil to create this silky, beautiful sauce that coats the pasta perfectly and will have you getting seconds and maybe even thirds. The leftovers are good, too, even cold, right out of the Tupperware, standing next to the fridge. Not that I would know that from experience, of course.

#4: Chicken Parmigiana. I had previously made a lighter version of chicken parm using my air fryer, but had never attempted the real, olive-oil-fried thing until this year. There is something so comforting about this dish for me, which was a classic at casual Italian restaurants in the tri-state area, where my husband and I grew up. I first made it for him when he was having a tough week, and it felt like a real act of love. I did tweak a few things from Bobby Flay’s recipe, however; I used a jarred marinara sauce instead of making one from scratch, and fried the chicken in a shallow layer of olive oil that just coated the bottom of the pan, instead of the full cup of oil suggested. It was still crispy and gooey with melted cheese and just as incredible as you’d want it to be. I expect to come back to this recipe time and time again.

#3: Cantaloupe and Pancetta Cream Sauce Pasta. Now for something unique! I found this recipe during the summer, while researching if anyone had ever successfully combined pancetta with melon before. I found out that yes, someone had, and that someone was Emeril Lagasse, no less, so I figured I should probably give this fettuccine recipe a try. I know it sounds weird to use cantaloupe in a savory pasta sauce, but I’m telling you, this recipe is so rich and delicious, with salty-sweet flavors and a kick of umami from the pancetta, you will not want to stop eating it. One tip: depending how ripe your cantaloupe is or isn’t, you may need to employ a potato masher. This was the most delicious recipe I made this year, but it’s not #1 because it’s too rich, and it’s recommended to eat it in “appetizer portions.” And I just find the whole concept of a pasta appetizer to be ridiculously impractical.

#2: Gnocchi with Sausage, Zucchini, and Tomato. I would say that starting in the spring, I became much more interested in cooking with seasonal ingredients this year. This pasta recipe was a celebration of summer produce; I made it a million times over, and often threw in a chopped up eggplant, or sometimes some fresh mozzarella. I also never actually made it with gnocchi, because that sounded way too heavy for me, so I opted for penne. It’s very adaptable, but the few splashes of pasta water are essential to making a silky sauce, so don’t skip them. I’m surprised Martha Stewart allowed a recipe on her site that makes use of a jarred pesto, but I’m grateful, because this is quite quick and easy, in addition to being loaded with vegetables and oh, yeah, delicious.

#1: Fettuccine with White Ragu from Smitten Kitchen Keepers (page 202). This pasta recipe is NOT quite quick, although it is simple and easy. Ground pork is simmered with mirepoix, milk, broth, and a little white wine for 60 to 90 minutes, and the result is heavenly. I love the way this dish makes my house smell while it’s cooking, but more importantly, I love the way the pork breaks down into a light yet buttery and flavorful sauce. It’s kind of like a white bolognese. One thing I will say, though: don’t think, just double this recipe. As written, it only makes a half pound of pasta, and you will want more. Trust me. I have also made this recipe with a mixture of ground pork and beef, because that was all my grocery store had that day, and that was very good, too. I suspect it would work with all ground beef, too, but I haven’t tried it yet. It’s a beautiful dish, and one that I think would be impressive enough for a dinner party**, yet easy and foolproof enough that you wouldn’t have to stress at all. And that is why it is #1 this year.

** I actually made this pasta two nights before we left for Japan when a friend was coming over for dinner. I served it with an appetizer of blue cheese and fig jam crostinis and a broccoli and kale Caesar salad. An easy but elegant meal, if I do say so myself.

I know, I KNOW, okay?? Four out of my top five recipes for 2023 were pasta, and all were vaguely Italian. Look, it was not the easiest year for me and my family, so we needed comfort food. When I looked back at everything I cooked this year, that was definitely a major theme, along with cooking with more seasonal produce.

Here is the full list of every recipe I made for the first time in 2023, because I had to write it all out anyway in order to pick my favorites, so why not share it with you? The winning recipes are starred. As you can see, I cooked a LOT more in the summer and fall, which happened to coincide with when I was unemployed, which was really not a coincidence at all.

WINTER

Broccoli Cheddar Soup

* Fettuccine with White Ragu

* Easy Green Olive Pasta

Buffalo Chicken Dip

One Pot French Onion Pasta

SPRING

Chicken Pot Pie Soup

Strawberry Summer Sheet Cake

SUMMER

Zucchini Butter Spaghetti

Turkey Lettuce Wraps

* Cantaloupe and Pancetta Cream Sauce Pasta

* Gnocchi with Sausage, Zucchini, and Tomato

* Chicken Parmigiana

Corn Fritters

Blueberry Crumb Bars

Easy Slow Cooker Pulled Pork

Balsamic Pork Chops

Savory Ham & Cheese Scones

Easy No-Bake Cheesecake

Pizza Beans

Black Bean Beef Chili

Baked Chicken Meatballs

FALL

One-Pan Farro with Tomatoes

Roasted Salmon with Green Herbs

Roasted Carrots

Broccoli Bolognese with Orecchiette

Short Rib Onion Soup

One Pot Lemon Chicken and Orzo

Chicken and Dumplings

Apple Cinnamon Baked Oatmeal

Pear Salad with Blue Cheese

Easy Honey Garlic Pork Chops

Winter Squash and Spinach Pasta Bake

Lemony Parmesan Kale Salad

Salted Brown Butter Crispy Treats

Savory Zucchini and Cheese Muffins

Broccoli and Cheese Egg Muffins

Philly Cheesesteak

Best Brussels Sprouts with Bacon

One-Pot Chicken with Rice, Chorizo, and Tomatoes

Cucumber Salad with Garlicky Dill Yogurt

Biggest Cooking Fail: Burning the shit out of the winter squash pasta bake. We will rebuild it!

Biggest Cooking Triumph: Finally conquering short rib onion soup.

Biggest Cooking Surprise: I’m surprised that I baked as much as I did – and not only that, but I enjoyed it! Definitely something I want to explore more next year.

Biggest Cooking Pet Peeve: I HATE peeling fruits and vegetables. Hate it!

Biggest Cooking Joy: r/ididnthaveeggs made me laugh a lot this year.

Most Impressive New Technique Learned: I learned how to cook farro! I am still trying to master how to cook grains perfectly, so I’m pretty proud of this one.

Most Used Countertop Appliance (other than microwave): Slow cooker

Least Used Countertop Appliance: Air fryer. I didn’t use it once!

Weirdest Ingredient Used: Using cantaloupe in a savory sauce was definitely a little weird.

New Dish or Ingredient I Fell in Love With: I used caramelized onions in a lot of dishes this year. Time consuming but worth it!

Best Cookbook: Smitten Kitchen Keepers by Deb Perelman ($35). This was technically published in November of 2022, but I cooked a hell of a lot of recipes from it in 2023, so I’m counting it!

* * *

And there you have it! I hope you enjoyed this very subjective accounting of my year in cooking. Someone recently told me that the recipes are their favorite part of this newsletter, and I was happy to hear that, but a bit surprised, to be honest! (You mean it isn’t my scintillating wit?) In many ways, I feel like food is universal, but cooking can be so personal, too, you know what I mean? Anyway, if you’d care to share it, leave me a comment and let me know what your favorite thing you cooked this year was!

I’ll be back in your inboxes on Sunday, 12/31 with a big ol’ newsletter awarding the best of 2023 in pop culture and my personal life (“Drunkest Night” was a real wild card), as well as a recap of how I did on my resolutions, and my predictions for what will be in and out in 2024. It was so much fun to write, and I can’t wait to share it with you!

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top.

Until next time—happy cooking!

Love,
Liz
XOXO

How are you doing? If you celebrate Christmas, I hope you had a fabulous day! Hell, if you DON’T celebrate Christmas, I still hope you had a fabulous day. I celebrated at home in Los Angeles with my husband and some of our best friends, ate way too much food, and watched way too many Christmas movies (and, oddly enough, Black Swan? There’s something strangely festive to me about a young, waif-like white woman losing her mind. ‘Tis the season!!). I made lasagna bolognese for a hearty Christmas lunch, which I served with a lemony parmesan kale salad and cheesy pull-apart bread, with holiday punch to drink and banana rum trifle for dessert. As I write this, I am still digesting it all, and might take a tip from my cat and take a nap.

I have been SUPREMELY jet lagged since getting back from Tokyo on the 17th, which is no surprise, given that their time zone is 17 hours ahead of L.A. Time zones are a trip, man. We left Tokyo at 9:00 p.m. on a Sunday night and landed in Los Angeles at 2:30 p.m. on that same Sunday. I literally lived a whole day and then traveled back in time and had to re-live it again somewhere else in the world. So freaky.

Anyway, my body is very confused, the poor thing. I was doing some reading about how to help jet lag and a few articles said that people feel it the most when traveling east, which I think is so interesting! It’s definitely been true for me with this trip. I’ve been taking melatonin at night and trying to get back on schedule, but it’s hard. On top of that, I fucked up and didn’t pack enough of one of my medications when I went to Japan (do NOT recommend!), so my meds routine got all screwed up and my body’s trying to process that as well.

Today’s newsletter is going to be all about 2023 in makeup and beauty! As a reminder, you can read all of last year’s “best of the year” round-ups here (no paywall).

As a palate cleanser to this palette dispenser, I want to recommend journalist Jessica DeFino’s brilliant newsletter The Unpublishable, which deconstructs the beauty industry and takes a necessary, critical look at the ugly side of it. She is truly doing the lord’s work over there, and never lacks for material. 

I started getting much more into makeup and beauty in the second half of 2022, when I started watching more makeup content creators on YouTube. I found their content to be a relaxing, girly thing to throw on while I did my nails or window shopped online (or sometimes more than just window shopped). It was through many of these content creators that I discovered brands I’d never heard of before, including indie brands, many of which are making much more colorful, playful, and impactful makeup than the usual Sephora and Ulta standbys, in my opinion.

The thing about the beauty industry is that there is always a new product to try, one that just sizzles with the prospect of a dopamine hit. I knew that I’d gotten a bit caught up in collecting over actually using makeup in 2022, so in 2023, I tried to be much more conscientious about what new items I chose to bring into my space. It is so easy to lose perspective on what a “normal” collection of makeup looks like when you regularly watch content creators who are always buying the newest things or getting them sent to them for free in P.R. After all, I only have two eyeballs to put eyeshadow on! Jeez!

I played with a lot of color in 2023. In 2024, I want to try incorporating more neutrals into the looks I do, and doing simpler eyeshadow looks that really let elements of color shine.

Let’s get into it:

A Beauty Resolution Recap

Remember when I made beauty resolutions earlier this year? Let’s check in on how I did!

1. “Figure out how to maximize my hair looking “done” while minimizing the amount of time I have to spend doing it (this may simply be an impossible equation, and I’m willing to accept that).” Yeahhhh, I did not do a very good job with this one! In 2024, I hope to focus more on hair care and styling. I figured out that my hair type is 2A, or wavy, but the Curly Girl Method scares me. The idea of not using shampoo on my scalp gives me the ick, as the kids say. Anyway, I am awarding myself no points for this one.

2. “Focus more on skincare and actually wash my face and use my products before bed, don’t just use a makeup removing wipe and call it a day.” Yep! Not saying I never did the makeup-wipe-and-go-right-to-bed method, but I definitely did more skincare stuff this year than in 2022.

3. “Shop my stash–use more of the makeup I already own.” Yeah! I had a lot of fun playing with makeup this year.

4. “If I do buy new eyeshadows, stick to singles and smaller palettes, like quads and quints. No humongo ColourPop palettes, for example.” Okay, sooooo… no, I did not buy any humongo ColourPop eyeshadow palettes, but I did snap up a few.

Palettes I purchased this year, in the order I purchased them  (9-pan or larger):

• Glamlite x Barbie palette ($40)

• Glamlite x Chucky “Crazy In Love” palette ($32)

• Huda Beauty Rose Quartz palette ($69)

• Too Faced Italian Spritz palette ($54)

• Natasha Denona Yucca palette ($69)

• Glamlite x Ghost Face Lives palette ($32)

• ColourPop Off Melrose palette ($18)

• Oden’s Eye Christmas Eve palette ($43.90)

• Oden’s Eye Merry Christmas palette ($43.90)

& one face palette:

• Blend Bunny Juicy Cheeks face palette ($32)

Ugh, fine, I guess buying 10 palettes means that that was a fail. Boo!

So where does that leave me? Well, two out of four isn’t that bad! Right?? That’s 100% more beauty resolutions than I accomplished last year! (I didn’t make any beauty resolutions last year.)

Here are my…

Beauty Resolutions for 2024:

1. Invest in more neutrals, especially in eyeshadow. I find myself reaching for them more and more.

2. Use more of my skincare products.

3. Find new solutions to fight my hair’s greatest enemy: frizz. And work better with my hair’s natural texture (2A?).

4. Do at least one major make-up and skincare declutter.

5. Figure out a better storage solution for all my blush and highlighter singles. They’re currently in an opaque box that makes it hard to remember to reach for them.

6. Wear sunscreen every time I leave the house for more than 15 minutes.

7. Wear fake lashes at least three times this year.

8. Girl: you do not need any more mostly black, grungy/goth eyeshadow palettes; you’re good.

*Like You Know Whatever Presents: The Very Best BEAUTY of 2023*

Here is my list of the very best new-to-me BEAUTY things I tried in 2023. Most of them were released for the first time in 2023, but not all. 

I’ve listed full retail prices at the time of writing this, but a lot of these items are actually cheaper than listed. Please shop responsibly. I bought most of these when they were discounted or on sale or I had a coupon code. If you can’t take advantage of year-end sales, President’s Day is around the corner for U.S. retailers. Also, please note that often, buying from individual beauty brands’ websites is cheaper than Sephora, especially around this time of year, when they have sales.

Amazon links are affiliated, meaning I earn a tiny commish at no cost to you. I really tried to avoid Amazon where I could, though.

Best Moisturizer: Tower 28 Beauty SOS Daily Skin Barrier Redness Recovery Moisturizer ($24)

Best Sunscreen: e.l.f. Suntouchable! Whoa Glow SPF 30 Sunscreen ($14)

Best Primer for Oily Skin: Glow Recipe Strawberry BHA Pore-Smooth Blur Drops ($32)

Best Bronzer: Haus Labs Power Sculpt Velvet Bronzer ($38)

Best Bronze-y Blush: Persona DreamStick in “Teddy” ($26). I wore this all summer!

Best Warm/Coral Blush: Half Magic Cheek Fluff in “Don’t Be a Doll” ($22)

Best Red Blush: ColourPop Pressed Powder Blush in “Woo Me” ($12)

Best Pink Blush: Haus Labs Color Fuse Blush in “Dragon Fruit Daze” ($38)

Best Highlighter: Rare Beauty Positive Light Silky Touch Highlighter in “Exhilarate” ($25) I have to eat my words here. I was very unimpressed with this highlighter when I first got it, but over the past several months it’s become my go-to daily highlighter. You can build it up for more intensity or keep it natural. I have a lot of highlighters and I reach for this one constantly. (Also, if you don’t want to pay $25, Moira has a dupe for $8.50 that I’ve heard is great.)

Best Eyeshadow Palette: Natasha Denona “Yucca” palette ($69) A warm-toned, inspired, interesting color story with potential for both colorful and neutral looks, in Natasha Denona’s amazing, buttery formula? It’s a fucking hit. I kept coming back to this palette over and over again.

Best Eyeshadow Single: Any of the Half Magic shimmers: I loved “Elven Things,” “Pretty Robot,” and “Wet Pebble” ($12 each).

Best Eyeshadow Quad: Viseart Petit Fours in “Violetta" ($25)

Best Mascara: Tower 28 Beauty MakeWaves Mascara ($20)

Best Drugstore Mascara: L’Oreal Paris Telescopic Lift Mascara, Waterproof Black ($15.99) Even with all the “controversy” of #lashgate, it’s still a really damn good mascara.

Best Lip Oil: NYX Fat Oil Lip Drip in “Follow Back” ($9) It seems to be a divisive product, but I personally love it!

Best Lip Gloss: NYX Butter Gloss Non-Sticky Lip Gloss ($6) NYX lip products are all-around fire.

Best Nail Polish: Mooncat's “Mermaid Bait” ($15)

Best Makeup Brushes: EcoTools Elements 4-Piece Face Set ($14.99) Beautiful, soft, and affordable!

Best Fragrance: Kayali Yum Pistachio Gelato ($27 - 138)

Biggest Beauty Splurge: I paid full price for the Too Faced “Italian Spritz” palette ($54), and that was painful since it’s kind of on the smaller side and some of the shimmers were disappointing in their impact and longevity.

Biggest Beauty Bargain: Everything I got at Moira Beauty during their Fourth of July sale was an absolute steal considering the quality.

Biggest Beauty Disappointment: So, I know I ended up buying nine eyeshadow palettes this year, but half of them were from 2022 or older. Overall, I was really disappointed with the selection of new palettes released this year. Just a lot of overpriced, under-inspiring color stories.

Most Impressive New Beauty Thing I Learned: This year, I figured out that I have hooded eyes, and therefore need to apply eyeshadow in a slightly different way in order for it to be visible. Might sound small, but it was huge for me, technique-wise.

Biggest Beauty Pet Peeve(s): 1) Ulta’s packaging when you order online is AWFUL. They do absolutely nothing to insulate anything or prevent it from spilling. I now avoid ordering anything from them that could shatter or leak. 2) Drugstore makeup has gotten so pricey! WTF! For a few bucks more you can buy the same items from a mid-range brand.

Most Used Beauty Item: e.l.f. H2O Proof Eyeliner Pen ($7)

Least Used Beauty Item: I did not wear fake lashes once all year! I would like to get better at wearing them next year.

Weirdest Beauty Purchase: The Chucky “Crazy In Love” palette from Glamlite ($32) was pretty off-brand for me, since I’m not a Chucky fan, but I just loved the grungy, dark color story!

* * *

And there you have it! The definitive best of beauty, based on my very subjective opinions. Wow!

Remember that I’ll be back in your inboxes on Friday, 12/29, with a round-up of the best recipes I made this year.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top.

Until next time—shop responsibly!

Love,
Liz
XOXO

How are you?? Oh, how I’ve missed you all! My husband Ross and I just got back on Sunday from 11 days of vacation in Japan! Prior to that, we were traveling in the New York City area for a week around Thanksgiving, visiting family and friends (but mostly family). Can you believe that I haven’t sent a newsletter in over a month? I bet you never thought you’d get me to shut the fuck up for that long!

I am so excited to be back in my home in Los Angeles, where I can get cozy and homebody it up with my sweet cat for a while. Visiting Japan was truly incredible, the trip of a lifetime (it’s been the #1 location on my travel bucket list for years), but it was the kind of vacation you come back from completely exhausted. Don’t get me wrong, I love a city-based vacation, but we averaged about 18,000 steps per day. There was just so much to see and do! It definitely took a toll on my body, especially my legs and feet, by the end.

I know I promised you some year-end best-of lists, and don’t worry, you are about to get so many of them! To be more specific, three! On 12/26, Boxing Day, I’m going to send out a newsletter all about my favorite beauty and makeup products for 2023, including a recap of my beauty resolutions and how I did. On 12/29, you’ll get a newsletter recapping all the new recipes I cooked this year and which ones were my favorites. And then finally, on 12/31, I’ll send out a newsletter with my official Best of 2023 awards for pop culture and events in my personal life, along with a resolution recap. You can read last year’s “best of the year” posts here (paywall has been removed, happy holidays!). 

I wanted to get those out to you before New Year’s Day because the beauty one in particular has a lot of products you might be interested in picking up, and year-end sales are a great time to do that and save some money. Besides, the period between now and January 2nd is a weird zone when nothing is real and time doesn’t exist, and sometimes it’s nice to have something new and frivolous to read, especially if you are traveling, or hiding in the bathroom from your family. Consider this series of newsletters a showering of gifts from yours truly! Or a plague of posts that you can delete immediately, your call.

If you normally get a holiday card from me and Ross, please be aware that we are unfortunately not going to be able to mail out physical cards this year. I just didn’t have the time this year with all the travel we were doing. We did do a digital card, though, which was fun.

Ross and I will be spending Christmas at home in Los Angeles, celebrating together with some local friends. We’re going to grab dim sum in the San Gabriel Valley on Christmas Eve, and then I’ll be making an epic lasagna bolognese for Christmas Day, when we plan on watching lots of holiday movies and eating lots of holiday food and drinking lots of holiday wine together. I love celebrating with our families, but a low-key holiday with friends is just what the doctor ordered this year.

Let’s get into just one thing before I gush all about Japan:

- Today marks the beginning of Capricorn season! Capricorns are savvy, hard-working, determined, ambitious, grounded, realist, leaders. They are punctual and practical, and masters of their to-do lists. They do not put up with flaky, ditzy, or unserious people, although they do have a rebellious side to them, and are often visionaries or groundbreakers. Cappies are the epitome of “work hard, play hard,” but they would never use that phrase to describe themselves, because that’s too peacocky, and they are goats. They’ll keep their heads down and climb the mountain without any shortcuts or expectations of praise. And most importantly, Capricorns think everything I just said is nonsense, because they think astrology is touchy-feely woo-woo bullshit.

I think that when people hear words like “ambitious” and “hard working” and “materialistic” to describe Capricorns, they think of someone like a douchey, workaholic finance guy who wants to rise to the top of the ranks and make the most money as quickly as possible in a ruthless, Machiavellian way. I don’t see them that way. I think Capricorns just crave security and tangible things, and they work to live, they don’t live to work. They are patient and willing to work for the things they want, but they’re not driven by greed or fantasies of luxury. They just want to be comfortable and secure.

My husband and one of my best friends are both Capricorns, and what I love about them is their loyalty and honesty. If I need someone to show up for me or I want an honest opinion, they always deliver. They may complain about some things in life, but they will never complain about having to work hard. There is also no subject too dark or painful for them to joke about, and I love that wickedly dry sense of humor. I think that sometimes people can see Capricorns as unemotional or cold, but they just have a really zoomed out perspective on life. Like old souls, they have seen it all and life doesn’t scare them. I find that personality type incredibly attractive as a counterweight to my own anxious, dreamy, thinky air sign self. If Libra is a cloud, Capricorn is a mountain. I just love Cappies so much, man, it’s one of my favorite signs.

Famous Capricorns include Martin Luther King, Jr., Greta Thunberg, David Bowie, LeBron James, Dolly Parton, Nicolas Cage, Susan Lucci, Betty White, Dave Grohl, Florence Pugh, and Michelle Obama. They are/were all very different people, but not one of them was put on this earth to suffer our bullshit. MLK was obviously an incredible visionary and leader, but in his writings, he was also very realistic and logical about the path to equality. Talk about a zoomed out view of humanity! I also think about Susan Lucci famously being nominated for a Daytime Emmy 19 times before she won; that is SO very Capricorn, to keep your head down and continue doing great work without trophies or celebration. And Nicolas Cage is famously bad with his money, but I have never once heard him complain about having to take a shitty role to fund his lifestyle. The man just keeps on truckin’, and that is quite Capricorn of him. 

So, how do we best celebrate Capricorn season? Well, for one thing, it’s the season of New Year’s resolutions, so get started on that list of goals for 2024! Show up on time for the holiday party but don’t make small talk, because that’s tedious! Lead a drinking game instead! Invest your holiday bonus in something with slow and reliable growth! Gift your family practical things! Buy a new calendar! Zoom out on Google Maps! Time is just a construct, life is meaningless, so keep it real!

* * *

The First Time Anyone Has Ever Gone to Japan

I don’t even know where to begin when recapping this trip. I guess I will start with this: Ross and I realized very quickly how easy it would be to make broad assumptions about Japanese culture or customs based on a singular experience we had as tourists, to the extent that it became a running joke for us. For example, one of our first nights in Tokyo, we were having beers at an izakaya (tavern with bar food) in Shinbashi, and noticed that we kept getting pints with a lot of head on them. We were then left wondering, was it just this one server? This one bar? Or do Japanese people really just love head? (It turned out to be the last one, go figure!) So, just take everything I say with a grain of salt, please, because this is just one dumb American’s brief experience.

On our first full day, we watched the sun rise over Tokyo, awake at an ungodly hour due to jet lag. I’ll never forget that, and how grateful I felt in that moment to actually be there. We criss-crossed Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka, and then Tokyo again. We went to a dozen different temples, each beautiful in its own way, and bowed and clapped and rang bells and tossed yen and lit candles and prayed. We hiked up mountains and fed baby monkeys and sacred deer by hand. We went to a very serious progressive jazz performance and a very UN-serious bilingual drag show. (The drag show was amazing, so many modestly dressed middle aged Japanese women in the front row waving ally flags and laughing at sex jokes.)

We went to a tiny basement bar in Osaka helmed by the sweetest old Japanese hippie guy with long gray hair who played the Stones and the Doors and Dylan and bummed me an American Spirit (everyone was smoking there, not sure if that was entirely legal, definitely not up to any kind of fire code). We went to a tiny, beautiful cocktail bar in Kyoto where a very kind, impeccable bartender made me the best whiskey sour of my life, with local Japanese whiskey (natch) and brown sugar from Yonaguni Island, which has the mythology of being “the island of women.” We drank a million draft Asahis with two inches of head and discovered Strong Zero, a low-calorie carbonated citrus drink with nine percent alcohol (god help us if Suntory ever starts exporting them to the U.S.!!).

And the food. Oh my god, the food! I used a mixture of Tabelog, a Japanese review site, and Google Maps reviews to find places to eat, but mostly, we just walked into places because they looked popular and good. The Google Maps reviews cracked me up after a while because it seemed whenever I would look up a place, someone would be saying, “This was the best sushi I’ve ever had in my life” “this was the best ramen of my life” “this was the best yakitori of my life.” Like, okay dudes, they can’t ALL be the best of your life. But I get it, because the food was incredible. I had ramen four times and sushi four times and too much street food to count, and the sweets, oh my god, so many sweets! I am firmly a savory over sweet person, but I fell in love with the desserts in Japan because they are all of the delicately flavored, not too sweet variety. I would frequently start my day with some kind of cream-filled pastry from a konbini (convenience store), have a pastry or sweet from a shop in the afternoon, and end it with two vanilla mochi ice cream balls from the same konbini. The sugar kept me going, and I was walking 10 miles a day, so I needed it.

I titled this newsletter “Big in Japan” because something I discussed a few times with my therapist before flying out were my anxieties about existing in a plus size body in a country not known for catering to larger bodies. Would people gawk at me? (Um, no. Also, get over yourself.) Would my ass even fit into the tiny bars and restaurants? (Yes.) And was there any chance in hell of me buying clothing there? (Actually, yes! I bought a t-shirt in Harajuku of the Japanese poster for Pulp Fiction! And the oversized sweater look is really in over there right now, so I probably could have bought one of those, too, but I had to watch my shopping because a) luggage space and b) unemployed.)

I was able to make those things work, but people in larger bodies than me might struggle, which is a whole hell of a lot of people who deserve to experience Japan just as much as I did. I thought about accessibility often on this trip, as there were so many things that required the ability to do lots of stairs or walking or just wouldn’t be accessible to people with mobility issues, chronic pain, or low energy levels. And my intention here is not to single out Japan on this issue when the U.S. can be just as bad (shittt, at least Japan has healthcare!), more just to acknowledge how many layers of privilege I had working for me on this trip.

Another thing I had anxieties about at the beginning of the trip was inadvertently offending someone because I was unaware that what I was doing was actually very rude. I did a lot of research on Japanese culture and manners before I went, but there is only so much you can learn through internet research. In general, Japanese people are so polite and reserved, they are not going to call you out on your rude behavior, which, of course, just gave me even more anxiety! However, as the days went on, I became more comfortable in the role of tourist and realized that even if I did make a faux pas, since I was visibly a foreigner, they would just assume I was being a dumb tourist and probably let it go.

The one thing I learned through experience, unfortunately, is that Japan is VERY anti-PDA. There were two occasions where I gave Ross a kiss on the cheek in public, and man, you would’ve thought I stuck my hand down his pants the way that people reacted! The first time, I thought that maybe I was just being paranoid, but the second time, I realized that I was being rude. Again, no one confronted me, there was just a visible wave of flinching/stinkeye, shall we say. As a heterosexual, I have never experienced that reaction to showing affection to a partner in public. It was eye-opening, to say the least!

Though Japan is very anti-PDA, while there, I also saw signs of the thriving sex industry, which I find fascinating. A lot of the sex industry there does not even involve sex. We were often walking past young women trying to get people to come to host clubs, which are bars where cute young ladies flirt with patrons and sell them overpriced drinks but do NOT do anything physical. My favorite was inexplicably called High School Banana. There is even a male version for women called Top Dandy which I read a really interesting article about. There’s also a cuddle cafe where guys can go and cuddle with young women who will pretend to be their girlfriends for an hour but, again, not do anything sexual.

And then, of course, there is the traditional sex industry. For our second time in Tokyo, we stayed at a hotel in the Kabukicho neighborhood of Shinjuku, which I realized after booking it and already using a Hotels.com credit on it is known for being in the “red light district.” On our first night at the hotel, we ended up riding the elevator with a young lady and an older John. (You could just tell by the way she was giggling at all his jokes. No man is that funny.) While we were staying in that neighborhood, Ross wanted to get a massage, but felt like it would be too difficult to find a legitimate massage parlor from… you know, the other kind people get. I agreed, not out of fear of him being offered any “services,” but because I wanted him to have a real massage, not a bullshit one (he got one at his usual place once we got back to L.A., but paid probably twice as much for it).

(I fear this is now veering into stereotype territory, and that is not my intention at all!! We were just in the literal red light district, okay?? Sex work is work that exists all over the world and I have respect for the people who do it, duhhh.)

Japan has a reputation for being a very expensive destination, but can I be honest? We were pleasantly surprised by how cheap everything was once we were actually there. Like, really cheap. We were “lucky,” I guess, in that the yen was down compared to the US dollar, but even so, we would frequently spend less than $20 on dinner for both of us, including drinks and usually at least one app or side. Where in the U.S. can you do that?! We got so used to it that whenever a meal cost more than that we would go, “Oh, that was expensive,” then realize that the whole bill was $35 and we would easily pay three times that for the same meal in Los Angeles.

We splurged twice. Once, on fresh uni and fatty tuna sashimi at a place in the Tsukiji fish market that was without a doubt, the best sashimi I’ve ever had in my life, melted in my fucking mouth like butter, made me want to cry. And we splurged again on some wagyu beef from Kobe at a yakiniku in Osaka (yakiniku is like Korean barbecue, where you cook the meat yourself over an open flame). Both occasions were totally, 100% worth it.

Our hotels weren’t even that expensive! We splurged once, on a ryokan (traditional Japanese inn) in Kyoto that had a gorgeous living room with tatami mat floors and a private patio with an open-air onsen (hot tub). Excluding that, we averaged about $175 per night including taxes and fees for three and four-star hotels, all in major cities. That’s not nothin’, but I actually think it’s quite reasonable considering what comparable hotels in big cities usually cost in the U.S. And of course, the biggest expense that we saved on were the flights, which we paid for entirely in miles through our Delta Amex.

It was so affordable that I’m honestly kind of baffled as to how Japan has such a reputation for being expensive? Is it just that I’m from an already expensive city, and these things are relative? Are people balling out on omakase sushi (chef’s tasting menu) and steak dinners at upscale restaurants all the time? While I found most of the food very affordable, there certainly were luxury options with seemingly limitless boundaries. Or maybe people are taking cabs everywhere? We took public transit 99% of the time, and while it was a little intimidating at first, Google Maps made it super easy once we got the hang of the ticket machines, and all the train announcements were made in English in addition to Japanese.

Something that I marveled at the entire trip and am devastated to go without here in the states are Japanese toilets. Y’all, we are so far behind on toilet technology, it is not even funny. The toilets in Japan come with seat warmers, bidets, buttons to lift and lower the seats, and the ones in public restrooms even have white noise machines so no one has to hear you poop, and deodorizing and sanitizing spray options so that no one has to smell it, either. Some of the public bathroom stalls also had chairs that you could strap your toddler into so you don’t have to wrangle them while you’re trying to pee. I’m telling you, they thought of EVERYTHING and came up with a solution for it. And these are everywhere, in public restrooms! I’ve never had so much fun going to the bathroom in my life!

(Okay so there were two occasions when I came across squat toilets which are just drains in the floor and I had to seek relief elsewhere because I did not have the confidence in my thigh strength or my ability to not pee on myself. But 99% of the toilets were these magical technological achievements.)

I could go on and on about how special this trip was for me, how enriching and inspiring and downright life-affirming, but I don’t want to bore you to death. Suffice it to say, Japan was everything I wanted it to be and more. If you have any interest in traveling there, and you have the means to make it happen, GO!!! I was worried about the flight and the language barrier and the money and my fat ass, and none of that shit mattered in comparison to the incredible experiences I had. Just go. Trust me.

If you’d like to see some photos, please check out my Instagram page. I’ll be sharing more in the coming days, I’m just trying to spread them out so as not to overwhelm the feed. And if you REALLY want to deep dive, I made a big Google Photos album for our families that I’d be happy to share with anyone who asks, just hit reply.

* * *

Before I go, I want to wish all of you very happy holidays. I know that sentiment may feel somewhat trite or hollow this year in light of the atrocities happening right now. How can such suffering not weigh heavily on all of us? But I wanted to share something that brought me a small bit of peace.

I started listening to Christmas music absurdly early this year, like, before Halloween was over, even, and while I was listening to a “Christmas Hits” playlist, Stevie Wonder’s “Someday at Christmas” came on. For whatever reason, that day was the day that I really listened to the lyrics to that song, and I’ll admit that I burst into tears. I’d like to share some of them with you now:

Someday at Christmas men won't be boys
Playing with bombs like kids play with toys
One warm December our hearts will see
A world where men are free

Someday at Christmas there'll be no wars
When we have learned what Christmas is for
When we have found what life's really worth
There'll be peace on earth

Someday all our dreams will come to be
Someday in a world where men are free
Maybe not in time for you and me
But someday at Christmastime

Someday at Christmas we'll see a land
With no hungry children, no empty hand
One happy morning people will share
Our world where people care

Whoa, someday at Christmas there'll be no tears
When all men are equal and no man has fears
One shining moment one prayer away
From our world today…

Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope the sentiment behind that song may still resonate with you. The older I get, the less important I think it is to be a certifiable member of X or Y religions in order to participate in their traditions. Hell, I was raised Roman Catholic, and I just spent 11 days in Japan praying to Buddha for peace at ancient temples and shrines. I figured it couldn’t hurt.

Let’s leave it there. If you celebrate Christmas, I hope you have an absolutely wonderful day filled with joy and peace. I hope you have that kind of day on the 25th even if you DON’T celebrate Christmas! I’ll be back in your inboxes on the 26th.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top.

Until next time—tidings of comfort & joy.

Love,
Liz
XOXO

I have a whole new newsletter heading your way tomorrow with the kind of deranged content you’ve come to love and expect, but I just wanted to pop in here to let you know that:

a) I’ve restarted billing for paid subscribers

b) Paid annual subscriptions now cost only $30 for A WHOLE YEAR! That’s $2.50 per month, a full 50% off the cost of monthly subscriptions!

I’ve been wanting to offer a more affordable pricing option for a while now, and this is the only way Substack will let me do it. Unfortunately, they won’t let me offer a monthly subscription plan at less than $5 per month, so I really recommend the $30 annual plan if you can swing it.

I figured that with the holidays quickly approaching, some of you may want access to the archives or premium content to enjoy during your travels or all that free time you’re about to have in your childhood bedroom.

You can update your subscription right here.

Happy reading! Talk to you tomorrow!

Love,
Liz
XOXO

How are you? I’m doing pretty well. It’s very early in the morning as I write this, and I just spilled iced coffee all over myself. I was coming back from a Starbucks run and trying to balance a venti for my husband and a trenta for myself while unlocking our front door, and it did not work out so well. I ended up dumping freezing cold coffee down the front of my shirt, and I walked into my apartment looking like a contestant in the world’s least sexy wet t-shirt contest. I had to throw out my shirt! Let’s just hope this is not an indicator of the quality of the day to come.

Next week, my husband Ross and I will be flying out to New York to celebrate Thanksgiving with my in-laws on Long Island and spend some time with my family in New Jersey and hopefully get to catch up with some friends in the city. I’m excited for bagels, hanging out with my little niece and nephew, and getting to see my brother and brother-in-law’s new house. They have a French bulldog named Donut [sic] who signs birthday cards quite regally as “the Donut,” and it’s always fun to watch my parents awkwardly interact with a dog. (They don’t really “get” pets, but they try.)

We’ll be back in L.A. for one week after New York, and then we’re off to JAPAN!!! Needless to say, I am very excited. I have a favor to ask, though: do you have any recs for a bingeworthy TV show I could watch during the collective 24 hours (GULP) that I’ll be flying to/from Japan? I will really need a distraction. As you know, I love reality TV featuring deranged egomaniacs (more on that later), but I also love prestige dramas, high-quality comedy, and shows where they’re trying to solve a murder or disappearance and every episode ends on a cliffhanger. I have all the apps and am willing to pay for content if it will suck me in enough to save me from my flight anxiety for a little while. Please hit reply or leave a comment if you have any suggestions! Thanks!

Ross and I went to see Liz Phair at The Wiltern last Friday night. It was part of her tour celebrating the 30th anniversary of Exile in Guyville, and she played the whole album front to back. I was so excited for this show because that is one of my favorite records of all time, and to this day I believe it’s a piece of female genius. I am happy to report that Liz did NOT disappoint! She was fucking great! I really liked how she made small changes to some of the songs to make them work better in the flow of a live show. For example, she did a poppy, fuller-sounding version of “Fuck and Run” that had everyone dancing. (She has many more dates to come in the U.S. if you’re interested in catching her. Her opener, Blondshell, was great, too, very moody and grungy.)

Actually, I was quite surprised at the energy of the crowd, given that we were some of the youngest people there who were not accompanied by their parents. It’s funny, on the way to the venue, we were chatting with our Uber driver, and when I mentioned we were seeing an artist play an album from the ‘90s, he asked me if I was really into the album when it came out. Well, I was seven years old when the album came out, so not really, but luckily I found it about 10 years after its release. Anyway, I thought for sure it was going to be a “sitting” concert since that seems more the vibe of Gen X at shows these days (no shade–I love to sit!), but everyone stood and danced the whole time. This is why live shows sometimes feel like church to me: it’s such a communal experience, with everyone singing along to words you thought only you knew.

I’m not sure how I feel about The Wiltern, though (so named because it’s at the corner of Wilshire and Western). It’s one of those gorgeous old art deco theaters that’s been repurposed into a music venue, of which there are many in L.A., and all the ornamentation and painted ceilings kind of reminded me of a Las Vegas casino. Another thing that reminded me of Vegas: there was a bar maybe every 12 feet. I quickly understood why once I got our drinks: it was 26 fucking dollars for a vodka soda and a can of Liquid Death! And that’s before tipping! (Getting ripped off also reminded me of Vegas, haha.)

This show concluded The Great Dodge Neon Tour of 2023, during which I only went to see artists that played heavily in my first car, which I owned from ages 17 - 23. It was a used car, naturally, and had a lot of quirks: no ABS, there were power windows in the front seats and manual windows in the back, and sometimes when you unlocked the trunk, the horn would honk. What a jokester! I remember when my dad was negotiating with the guy at the dealer to buy it, he was worried because it was a black car, which he said is the least visible color at night. “But it’s also the most visible color during the day,” the salesman said. “That’s true,” my dad said. It was not! I had a pair of furry yellow dice hanging from the rearview mirror until I found out that that meant you’d “gotten lucky” in the car. I just thought they looked cute! (I had had sex in the car, of course, but I didn’t need everyone else at the Rockaway Mall to know that.) Anyway, the artists I saw this year were: Le Tigre, Weezer, The Ataris, Everclear, and now, Liz Phair. You can see some pics here, but you’ll have to wait for my year-end wrap-up to find out which was the best show.

Let’s get into some things:

- Next Wednesday marks the official beginning of Sagittarius season! Sags are adventurous, optimistic, playful, thrill-seeking, brutally honest explorers. They are known for their varied interests and constant pursuit of knowledge – they are prone to Wikipedia rabbit holes and dilettante phases. They kind of remind me of Geminis in the way they love to collect facts and information. As a fire sign, Sags are passionate and go ALL IN on their interests and hobbies… until another one catches their eye, and the cycle repeats. They are blunt to and beyond a fault, but also don’t take anything too seriously, including themselves. They can have a bit of a “charming asshole” vibe. They love to travel and have an insatiable wanderlust. To that end, they are also pretty commitment-phobic. But they’re funny and interesting and overall make it pretty hard to dislike them.

I’m going to be honest, because I don’t like when astrologers pussyfoot around and say that they “love all the signs equally” and blah blah blah: I find Sags to be very irritating at times. Like music genres, I don’t think any signs are “bad” necessarily, but gun to my head, I would say Sagittarius is probably my least favorite sign in the zodiac (sorry!!). They can come off as condescending or as know-it-alls, and I sometimes find them to have a hard time thinking outside of themselves. I’m from New Jersey, so my people are blunt (I’m WORKING ON IT, okay??), but Sagittarian bluntness is on another level. That said, I do have people I love and care about very much with Sag placements! My dad is a Scorpio-Sag cusp, and my husband is a Sag moon and Sag rising. I also have a couple great friends who are Sags. One quality these friends share is that because they go in hard on their interests, they’re fantastic at teaching people new things. It’s an underrated skill and one I admire for sure.

Famous Sagittarians include Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj, Britney Spears, Jane Fonda, Bruce Lee, Jay Z, Mark Twain, and Diego Rivera. One thing I will say about Britney based on her tumultuous Instagram feed is that she is fascinated by many different things. Mark Twain was a witty traveler who chased different whims through his life. And Diego Rivera was by all accounts most definitely a charming asshole. 

So, how best to celebrate Sagittarius season? Pick up a new hobby, then drop it a month later for something else! Get real deep in a niche subreddit! Solve an unsolved mystery! Go bungee jumping off a bridge, then decide it’s not for you! Tell your friend your honest opinion on their new partner, couched in wit! Hop on a bus without knowing where it’s going! Hit “I’m Feeling Lucky” on Google! It’s all good, everyone likes you!

Since there are only a few more signs I haven’t written about yet in this newsletter, I would love to know: which signs are your favorites? Which ones don’t you get along with? And what sun sign are you? Leave a comment and let me know!

- Cooking. I’m going to share some Thanksgiving recipe recs in a bit, but first, I thought I’d share what else I’ve been cooking lately. I think I may have found a solution to my breakfast problem: mini frittatas baked in a muffin tin! I made these broccoli and cheddar ones last week and they were fabulous, and kept well for several days in the fridge. All I had to do each morning was grab a couple and microwave them for a minute, and voilà! Hot, delicious, protein-rich breakfast! They are similar to the sous vide egg bites at Starbucks (I’m addicted to the bacon gruyere ones – iykyk), but a little firmer in texture. I also made some with bacon, mushrooms, spinach, and a mix of Swiss and gruyere cheese this week. I like that you can put pretty much an endless variety of fillings in them.

I had a craving for a really good cheesesteak, like, the platonic ideal of cheesesteaks, like, one made with really high quality ingredients and love and time. I like Boo’s and even Jersey Mike’s cheesesteaks pretty well, but I figured I could probably get the best result if I bought a nice ribeye and made it myself. I ended up using the Serious Eats recipe, and it was super delicious, although maybe even too cheesy for me, which is really saying something. I added a thinly sliced green bell pepper to the meat and onions, because I just like those on a cheesesteak. I know that’s probably not authentic. I know that Philadelphians can have strong opinions about cheesesteaks and lord knows those people like to fight, so I’m not trying to set any of them off because I didn’t use cheez whiz or whatever. But I thought it was really fucking good! I served the sandwiches with parmesan herb roasted potatoes and these outrageously good brussels sprouts with bacon that I’ll talk more about in my Thanksgiving recs. 

I also made a couple more recipes from Smitten Kitchen Keepers, which I’m sure you’re all quite tired of me recommending, but man, that cookbook slaps! Luckily, both of the recipes I made from the book are on the internet, so I can link them for you! I made the cucumber salad with garlicky dill yogurt, to which I added some sliced grape tomatoes, and my husband could not stop eating it! The way that man kept sneaking back to the serving dish to grab spoonfuls of it, you would think it was a dessert, not a salad! And then I made her one-pot chicken with rice, chorizo, and tomatoes, a delicious twist on chicken and rice with paella vibes. The fat from the dried chorizo gave it just a hint of richness without being overpowering, and the tomatoes and onions formed a light, aromatic sauce that gave the rice so much flavor. I also made some roasted cauliflower that I’d tossed in smoked paprika to give it a bit of a Spanish feel, and later added garlic and lemon juice. I thought it was quite simple, but Ross kept raving about that, too! Overall, quite a hit of a dinner with my husband, if I do say so myself.

- Selling Sunset, season 7 (Netflix). I was pretty surprised when I saw that there was a new season of Selling Sunset out already. It’s only been six months since the last one! Is that the clip at which they’re going to be pumping these shows out? Jeez, let it breathe a little bit!

Every season, the cast of the show joins in a shared delusion, and this season, it was that the O group is a “family.” I know: how very Michael Scott of them! Here are some of my thoughts on the season (with SPOILERS, so please consider yourselves warned):

• I am starting to be able to tell Jason and Brett apart, and it scares me. So far, I can only tell them apart by their voices and how they dress, but even that indicates a concerning amount of time spent watching these men on my TV.
  

• Has a villain ever villained harder than Nicole? Truly, what a wretched person. And what’s up with her husband? I would die of embarrassment if my husband ever texted a friend of mine to cuss her out because I was mad at her. We manage our own relationships, thankyouverymuch.
  

• I must admit I never thought much about Marie-Lou (Jason’s 25 y/o girlfriend) before this season, but wow, she is a piece of work. That sit-down with her and Chrishell was great television. Marie-Lou was so out of her element trying to go toe-to-toe with someone who is not only level-headed and logical, but has been on reality television for seven years. I don’t tend to be someone who judges others based on their age, but in this case, the difference in maturity levels was very apparent. And later, it was wild to watch Marie-Lou straight up lie about what went down. I can’t decide if she is manipulative or just dumb. It was also SO cringe how many times this season Marie-Lou “joked” about Jason proposing. Like hun… please be serious. If he didn’t put a ring on Chrishell, he’s not putting one on you.

  

• It was honestly fucking WILD how much flack Chrishell got from the other agents for setting healthy boundaries for herself. I 100% understand why she chose to remove herself from uncomfortable situations in Cabo. I would have done the same.
  

• I actually felt quite bad for Ms. “we’re a family” Amanza. She obviously has a shit family of origin, and I’m a big “friends are family” person, but boundaries are so important when it comes to work, even if their work is just “being on a reality tv show together.” Also, like… sometimes we have to accept that a friendship means more to us than to the other person, and manage our expectations.
  

• Jason’s decision to pour millions into a new office space that is basically a giant man cave when HE KNOWS the market isn’t great and the luxury real estate business in L.A. is in trouble this year is just… wow. Beyond that, putting the onus on his employees to “work harder” and make up for that investment is just really shitty management. I have unfortunately been in a similar situation as an employee and all I’ll say is that it did not work out for anyone, but the employees were ultimately the ones who paid the price. 🫠
  

• Oh, how I laughed when they were pulling down scaffolding as people were arriving to the grand opening party for their new offices! The paint was still wet! I kept waiting for someone to lean on it and ruin their rented outfit! Just stunning. (Angelenos: do you know what space they took over? Was that the Blue Mercury?)

- Thanksgiving recipe recs! I am not making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Instead, we will be celebrating with my husband’s family on Long Island, and I can’t wait to see all of them (and to just chill out and play with our niblings while someone else does the work!). However, I have made a few Thanksgiving dinners in my time, so I wanted to give those of you who will be cooking some ideas. I’m going to focus on the sides, since those are the best part, anyway, and one pie-alternative dessert. Enjoy!

• Autumnal Salad. Personally, I feel pretty strongly that Thanksgiving is the one day a year when I can live without eating a fucking salad. However, Thanksgiving is not just about me, it is also about everyone else sharing the table with me, and many of them like salad. So I always make one. I think it’s nice to have something with some fruit, maybe some bits of a roasted root vegetable, nuts, and an acidic dressing that will cut through some of the richness of the rest of the meal. This one seems nice. Or this one.

• Herb & Apple Bread Pudding. This is the best stuffing (or I guess technically dressing?) you’ll ever make. If you even dare to think about the calories involved, I will slap you. It’s stuffing! It’s not supposed to be nutritious! The best thing about this dish is that you can assemble the whole thing the day before Thanksgiving and keep it in the fridge overnight, then just throw it into the oven an hour before you need it. I would actually encourage you to do this, because the bread will have more time to soak up all the other ingredients, and you’ll get a better result. I love the pancetta, but when I had guests who didn’t do pork, I subbed smoked turkey sausage for it and it worked pretty well. You could also make this vegetarian by subbing a veggie sausage or veggie bacon and using vegetable stock instead of chicken stock. And maybe you should? When I was vegetarian, I could never eat the stuffing at Thanksgiving, and it always bummed me out.

  

• Maple Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Bacon. Roasting is my favorite way to make brussels sprouts because the insides get soft and tender and melty while the outsides get crispy and crunchy. This is the recipe of my dreams because it involves roasting the sprouts with bacon all in one pan, and what could be easier than that? Then you lightly toss them with a tablespoon each of maple syrup and apple cider vinegar, which adds wonderfully salty-sweet fall flavors. There are a lot of ways to do brussels sprouts and bacon, but this is the easiest and tastiest way I’ve found. You could sub turkey or veggie bacon, but in that case I would cook the bacon separately from the sprouts and toss everything together at the end, because those have a lot less fat than “real” bacon and would dry out in the oven.
  

• Cauliflower Cheese. I always like to have something cheesy as a side at Thanksgiving. I think that’s more of a southern U.S. thing, but in my opinion, it’s a tradition we should all adopt. Cauliflower cheese is a British dish, so consider this a nod to the Pilgrims. Or not. It’s basically just low-carb mac and cheese, and it’s delicious. You can add crumbled bacon if you want to get really crazy.
  

• Maple Butter Roasted Baby Carrots. These roasted carrots could not be more simple (three ingredients + salt and pepper!), but you will not be able to stop eating them. You could add a tablespoon of finely chopped fresh herbs if you want extra flavor, but they really don’t need it.

• Cranberry Crumb Bars. My father-in-law is addicted to these, so now I make them every year. If you have a food processor, you can pulse everything together in there in step two to make it even easier. I really love the flavor that the almonds give the dough. These make a great day-after-Thanksgiving breakfast, too.

And that’s it! If you are in the U.S. and celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you have a fantastic holiday weekend. If you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, totally get it–I hope you have a great weekend anyway!

I’m not going to be able to write to you all until after I get back from Japan (how fucking cool did I just sound saying that? Eee!), so the next newsletter will go out on Friday, 12/22. I hope you have an absolutely magical holiday season and are able to cultivate joy during this time, and I can’t wait to talk to you when I get back!

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top. You can also upgrade to a paid subscription if you want more content–there’s a special button for you at the bottom of this email!

Until next time—I’m thankful for all of you.

Love,
Liz
XOXO

How are you? I’m currently writing this with my cat in my lap, so I’m obviously doing great. (Well, honestly, I would like to get another cup of coffee, but I am cat-trapped.) Zadie is a fluffy long-haired tuxedo cat, and she always gets more cuddly when the weather gets cooler. It is still sunny and 70s during the day here in Los Angeles, but the temperature quickly drops into the low 60s and 50s at night and into the morning. It’s “bring a sweater” weather. Fall. I’ve started busting out the space heater in the morning, which is Zadie’s true love. Unrequited because they can only be together for a couple months a year in this climate. A real Romeo and Juliet story.

Zadie is going to be 12 years old at the end of the year. When we adopted her, the shelter gave her the same birthday as my dear friend Lauren–true Capricorn queens! I want to have a party next year for her cat mitzvah–although, of course, as a cat, she does not care for parties. She was supposedly a year old when we got her, and I feel like Zadie has become such a better cat as she’s gotten older. Not that she was ever a bad cat, but she’s become so sweet and cuddly and mellow. She used to hate being picked up and snuggled, but we started rewarding her with treats when she tolerated it for more than 30 seconds, and now she starts purring happily when we pick her up.

She’s also incredibly funny. Cats are supposed to be super graceful, but she trips over her own feet all the time. She also does this thing where she sleeps most of the day in one of our offices, then wakes up around six p.m. and comes out to where we’re hanging out in the living room meowing this scratchy, cranky meow like a disoriented old man who just woke up from a nap; “What time is it? Why are you guys hanging out without me? Is it dinner yet?” It cracks me up.

Last night I went to trivia with some friends at a local brewery. Their beers are pretty bad, but the trivia is good. I was driving, so I didn’t drink anyway. Our team was in the lead all night but then got smoked by the second to last round, on which we went double or nothing. We got ONE question wrong, and now I will never forget that the band a-ha is Norwegian. But we had a good time, and got Del Taco on the way home. Also, now that I think about it, the prizes you win at trivia are just gift certificates toward the brewery so you can buy more mediocre beers, so like, who even cares? I can never do trivia now without thinking about the first episode of The Rehearsal, though, and how much trivia night means to that guy. If you haven’t seen it, please go on Max right now and check out those perfect 44 minutes of television.

I can’t believe that it’s getting so close to our trip to Japan! It’s less than a month away now. We booked the flights so long ago, and now it’s around the corner. I guess that’s how time works, eh? We will be going to Tokyo, Kyoto, and Osaka, and I feel like I still have so many things I need to buy to prepare! Like pants! And good walking shoes! And a scarf and gloves, probably?? It’s going to be in the 40s and low 50s. It’s pretty rare, but I’m really hoping it snows while we’re there. Preferably, during the one night we splurged on a ryokan in Kyoto with an open-air in-room onsen. Imagine chilling in a hot tub while snow slowly drifts down beside you? Epic!!!

I am sorry to say that I have not kept up with my DuoLingo lessons in Japanese. I know you all are shocked that I am not fluent at this point. It just got too overwhelming, what with the three alphabets and all. Also, I wish language lessons started off with phrases that would actually be useful to travelers. Like “Where is the temple?” and “What is your second least expensive sake?” Instead, they teach you to say things like, “Mr. Tanaka is a nice teacher.” Who tf is Mr. Tanaka, and why are we talking about him?

Real quick, let’s go over the upcoming posting schedule for LYKW. I’m going to send one more regular newsletter next Friday, on 11/17 (it will have Thanksgiving recs!), and then I’m going to have to take a break due to travel. The next newsletter after that will go out on Friday, 12/22. I am going to pause billing for paid subscriptions in December so you won’t be charged, and any newsletters I send in December will be free and go out to everyone without any paywalls. I am already working on my year-end lists and can’t wait to have the definitive document on the bests and worsts of 2023 for you! Stay tuned!

Let’s get into some things:

- Great Jones is having a sale RIGHT NOW through 11/27! They’re a small, NYC-based, women-run company that makes beautiful, high quality cookware and bakeware. They are a little pricey and do not have sales often, so getting up to 50% off on their products is a real steal. I own three of their sheet pans and two cooling racks, which I bought during last year’s Black Friday sale. I know it sounds silly to wax rhapsodic about a sheet pan, but it is truly the best sheet pan I’ve ever used. It’s heavy and sturdy (no warping!) but also so easy to clean (dishwasher-safe!), and it comes in several aesthetically pleasing colors (or black, if you’re a bore). I’m dying to snap up one of their adorable casserole dishes, which are nearly half off right now. Lately, I’ve also been seriously considering if I need a second Dutch oven; their “Dutchess” is a quarter of the price of a Le Creuset right now, and it comes in pink! Can you even?? But alas, I’m still unemployed, so my budget for buying myself little presents is too small.

- Kayali Yum Pistachio Gelato Eau de Parfum ($27 - 138). I recently decided that I want to be one of those people who you hug that makes you go, “Wow, you smell good!” So, a few weeks ago, I ordered a bunch of Kayali perfume samples ($4 each) as a little inexpensive treat for myself. I threw in a sample for one of their newer releases from this year, Yum Pistachio Gelato, because a bunch of YouTubers I watch were raving about it, even though I didn’t think I’d like it at all. I tend to lean away from sweet scents toward more unisex ones, or so I thought.

Well, I’ve been wearing this perfume for the past week, and I’m completely obsessed! It smells sooooo good, y’all! Like the inside of an ice cream shop. Like whipped cream and marshmallow fluff and a hint of cotton candy. I know that all sounds sickly sweet, but somehow, it’s not overwhelming? I don’t know how to explain it. I feel like this would be a good Christmas/winter scent, because it makes you think of fluffy marshmallow clouds and piles of snow-like gelato. Anyway, this is really more of an endorsement of buying perfume samples to try before you buy, because you never really know how a scent is going to work with your body chemistry, you know?

- The Great British Baking Show, collection 11 on Netflix & series 14 on BBC. Y’all, I have to tell you, I think this is one of the funniest seasons of Bake Off I’ve ever watched. Everyone is so bad!! Have they run through all the talented baking Brits or something? Even the good ones like Tasha and Cristy keep eating shit! I mean, look at the stats, Paul has given what, two handshakes all season? Every fucking challenge it’s, “Oh dear, that’s not how it was meant to go” from no less than three people! I die laughing every week!

I actually quite like the new co-host, Allison, but what I like even more is mimicking her accent with my husband. “Bikers, BIKE!” What a fuckin’ serotonin boost this show is.

- Only Murders in the Building, season three (Hulu). I just finished the third season of this wonderful, intergenerational mystery comedy. I really liked it! Better than the second season, actually. I have to say, Meryl Streep’s character Loretta was a true highlight of this season for me, not just because Meryl is brilliant in everything, but because this character nailed a very specific and important New York City archetype. Carol Kane’s landlord character Lillian in The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is another great example of this type of person.

You don’t have to live in New York very long to encounter her: a colorful, eccentric, middle aged or older woman for whom “quirky” doesn’t even begin to cover it. She is always wearing at least one scarf and carrying at least three different bags. She has lived in the same cramped apartment for decades and will never move, and her home is impossibly cluttered. She either has an evil cat or a little dog with anxiety. Nobody knows where her money comes from. She is thrifty up to and including petty theft. She loves the arts and theatre and has a million gay friends. All the paintings in her apartment are from people she knew personally. She is liberal but politically incorrect. Is she even registered to vote? Who knows, but she definitely has strong opinions about the mayor. She yells at cab drivers because she knows the streets better than them. She is unhinged and she loves New York and we love her.

These women have lived in New York for so long that it’s altered their DNA. The city has a way of bending you to its will. It’s why New Yorkers will always justify paying so much for so little space; it doesn’t make sense to anyone outside of it, but the city changes your brain chemistry. These women I speak of have been warped and molded by the city itself, like sea glass weathered by salt water and sand. Except in their case, it’s from the screech of the subway and the wind whipping through the buildings in the winter, and instead of having their edges smoothed down, they’ve become an odd shape that only fits into the puzzle that is New York. It’s a blessing for them and a curse.

Oh, and Sonja Morgan from RHONY is another great example. Remember when she had a scratch on her Chanel bag and she filled it in with Sharpie? That kind of cheap resourcefulness is a hallmark of this type of woman. When Century 21 went bankrupt, you could hear their wails of grief across all five boroughs. Praise be the Lorettas, the Lillians, and the Sonjas of New York. 🩷

What is a woman?

In her recent newsletter, Ann Friedman linked to an Iowa Public Radio program she was a part of that asked the question, “What does it mean to be a woman?” I thought: wow, what a great question! As the world becomes more aware of the vast and beautiful array of different gender identities, some people seem to cling to their definitions. “What is a woman?” is a question hurled with malintent at liberals and trans rights activists by right wing bigots trying to catch them in a contradiction or throw them off their game.

My answer is, “Anyone who identifies as a woman, tf? Who cares?” but I know that’s not the best answer. In fact, there are probably a million ways to answer that question, and so many of them do not include the words “biological female.” (I swear a shudder just ran through my body even typing that out. No one has ever used that term for anything but evil.) Let’s get into some other definitions of a woman now:

A woman is someone haunted by the constant specter of wearing the wrong bra size.

A woman is a person who has been cat called by a man while wearing a stained t-shirt and leggings with holes in them.

A woman is someone who’s been at odds with their own body since adolescence.

A woman is a person who has fleeting but meaningful interactions with other women while waiting in line for the bathroom.

A woman always has to wait in line for the bathroom.

A woman is someone who is expected to love men, while living with the daily realities of male violence.

A woman is a person who society expects to shave their legs and armpits.

A woman is someone who’s spent too much time making sure their foundation matches their neck.

A woman is a consumer, not a creator.

A woman is a person who should never ask for money.

A woman is not a person at all, actually, not really.

A woman is more of a concept.

A woman must be feminine.

A woman must be maternal.

A woman must not age.

A woman must like sex, but not too much.

A woman must be beautiful but not know it.

A woman must be polite, or else she’s a bitch.

A woman must not be a bitch.

A woman is just a girl, really, isn’t she?

* * *

That’s it for today! 

Don’t forget to like and comment on this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top. You can also catch up on all the premium content I’ve released so far right here.

Until next time—please laugh at Bake Off with me.

Love,
Liz
XOXO

Happy November! How are you doing? I hope you’re taking care of yourselves. If you celebrated Halloween, I hope you had a completely goofy, silly good time. Friends of ours had a house party, and it was a blast. I dressed up as Janis Ian from Mean Girls, painstakingly recreating her outfit and attempting her overly complicated hairstyle. This is not a dig at Lizzy Caplan, but I think my hair was too clean. I had just washed it, and as much Got2be Glued as I put in it (IYKYK), it did not look stringy enough. I think my hair was also too highlighted, as hers is basically black. But I had fun! Maybe too much fun, since it turned out to be a “drunk grilled cheeses at midnight” kind of night.

My husband Ross wore Heath Ledger Joker makeup with a green t-shirt and purple hoodie. I helped him with the makeup – can you believe he thought he could do all of the Joker’s black eye makeup with just mascara? How would that have even worked? I shudder to think. (By the way, if you ever need a truly black eyeshadow base, I highly recommend about-face’s matte fluid eye paint.) The funniest part, though, was when I woke up the next morning day at noon to see Ross examining the traces of eye makeup still on him in the bathroom mirror. “I look like a one-night stand,” he said. “I look like the guy from My Chemical Romance.” I couldn’t stop laughing.

To get in the spooky mood on Halloween, I threw on a Halloween playlist in my AirPods and went on a long walk all around my neighborhood to look at all the decorations. People really do it up out here! I counted three 12 foot Home Depot skeletons. One place had a whole Dracula story playing out on two sides of their house. And so many fake spiders, so many skeletons in all shapes and sizes, so many silly tombstones on lawns! I also held my own personal contest for Most L.A. Halloween Decorations. The winners were:

Third Place: A skeleton holding a well-loved surfboard

Second Place: A skeleton in a SAG-AFTRA t-shirt

First Place: Two skeletons doing yoga on the lawn

Also, the citrus trees in Los Angeles smell absolutely incredible right now. I know I looked like a total weirdo just walking around sniffing all of them.

I have been cooking up a storm lately, so most of this newsletter will be dedicated to all the cozy meals I’ve been making. But before we get into that, let’s get into a few things:

- The Today show recently reported that people who put up their holiday decorations earlier are happier, according to ~science~! Last year, Ross and I put up our Christmas tree on November 19, and I have no regrets. My main complaint about the holidays is that they go by so quickly. The end of the year is always such a busy blur for me. I find that if I don’t make an effort to do some festive/seasonal things, before I know it, it’s all over and I’ve missed out. We are putting off putting up our tree this year because we have two big trips booked between now and Christmas, and our cat loves to attack the ornaments when we’re not around. She has broken a few before, and we wouldn’t feel safe leaving her alone with the temptation. I am already listening to holiday music and looking forward to crappy Netflix Christmas movies, though!

By the way, a quick note so that you can plan accordingly: I am most likely going to pause paid subscriptions in December, because my posting schedule is going to get all jacked up due to travel. I can promise you that you will still get newsletters with my personal bests of 2023, a resolution recap, and a best-of list of the recipes I made this year (you can read 2022’s year-end posts here, though they’re paywalled). I just do not know at the moment when 2023’s lists will land in your inbox. It will depend on many things, not least of which is jet lag. But I’m really looking forward to writing them, so stay tuned!

- The Fall of the House of Usher (Netflix). I know, I know, spooky season is over, but it took me a minute to finish this horror miniseries inspired by the writings of Edgar Allen Poe and helmed by writer/director Mike Flanagan (of The Haunting of Hill House & many others). As I’ve stated before in this newsletter, I’m a big fanagan! (Sorry.) (Again.) Usher is about an incredibly wealthy family who built their money in the pharmaceutical industry, largely on the sales of an addictive opiate. The show explores the recent mysterious deaths in the family while also giving an insight into the rise of the family’s patriarch.

I thought there were some really great performances – Bruce Greenwood, Mark Hamill, Carla Gugino, and Carl Lumbly were fantastic. I am actually surprised to say that I thought Zach Gilford (forever Saracen from FNL to me) was miscast as a young Roderick Usher. I adore him, but Roderick is a ruthless man. I think Gilford does his best work when he plays a flawed guy with a heart of gold (Midnight Mass). Let me know if you agree. Regardless, I am absolutely obsessed with Kate Siegel’s PR princess Camille and her HR nightmare of a relationship with her assistants. Such great satire of “boss bitch” culture.

If I had to rate the Netflix shows in the Flanaverse, it would go:

1. Midnight Mass

2. The Haunting of Hill House

3. The Fall of the House of Usher

4. Midnight Club

5. The Haunting of Bly Manor

I think they’re all worth a watch though. Except for maybe Bly Manor. I couldn’t get past the first episode when I tried to watch it, but I might give it another go.

A cozy cooking bonanza

I have been making an effort to cook more lately because I’m still unemployed and the cost of GrubHub has gotten truly ridiculous. Unfortunately, so has the cost of groceries. And while cooking at home saves you money in the long run, those savings don’t slap you in the face the way a three-figure grocery receipt will. You know what I mean? Fuckin OUCH, dudes!

Although, I realized this week that I am actually pretty privileged when it comes to cooking. I was on r/Cooking and someone made a post asking, “Would you still cook if you didn’t have to/could afford not to?” I thought, duh, of course! I love cooking, I find it so creative and relaxing, almost meditative. I love to totally zone out while chopping or stirring or plucking fresh herbs off of stems. That’s probably why I was shit at every food service job I’ve ever had; I was always too slow, and cooking at the speed you need to in a professional setting made the whole process unenjoyable for me. I assumed that the vast majority of people reading r/Cooking would feel the same way, that they were there to find inspiration because they genuinely enjoyed cooking.

Well, turns out I was totally wrong! So many people wrote in to say that the first person they’d hire if they won the lottery would be a personal chef. That’s when I realized that my relationship to cooking is a very privileged one, because I only cook two to three nights per week, and I cook for a household of two, so we usually have leftovers. I can see how if you’re in, say, a family of five with multiple children, you need to provide nutritious meals on a schedule, and getting takeout regularly could be prohibitively expensive. Nobody likes to HAVE to cook. There are definitely days when all I want to do is veg out and order pizza but I have an expensive ingredient about to go bad and man, I have to dragggg my ass to the kitchen.

This is all just to say that at the moment, I cook 70% for pleasure, 30% to save money, and if the things I’m making seem too complicated, I remind you again: I am unemployed. In the past two weeks, I made one very expensive, time-consuming, indulgent dish, and several other much simpler, more nutritionally balanced, cost-conscious dishes. For the latter, I want to recommend Budget Bytes, which if you’re not familiar, is a recipe blog geared toward making tasty, cost-efficient meals. Every recipe comes with a price breakdown for the ingredients, with a total cost per serving and for the whole recipe. I’ve made a lot of great recipes from them over the years – their chorizo and sweet potato enchiladas have become one of my go-to weeknight meals (although I always add half a diced onion and a bunch of Mexican spices when I’m cooking the filling for flavor). I made a couple of their recipes this week, which I’ll point out.

I also had one major cooking FAIL. Saving the best for last! Now, onto the cozy dishes!

1. As I mentioned in one of my paid subscriber-only emails, I have been craving a big, time-consuming cooking project lately, so the Saturday after I sent my last newsletter, I finally tackled the Smitten Kitchen short rib onion soup. This dish is basically a combination of French onion soup and braised short ribs. I have been wanting to make it since Deb posted the recipe almost two years ago, but was always too intimidated by all the steps and the fact that I’ve never made short ribs before. Now, after having made it to my culinary Mount Everest base camp, I must say: it’s actually not that difficult to make, skill-wise. It just requires time and patience. (And money – I don’t know what short ribs are going for by you, but the three pounds this recipe called for cost me almost $30, yowch.)

I followed this recipe pretty much to the letter, except that I let the short ribs simmer in my Dutch oven on the stove for two and a half hours instead of putting the pot in the oven. It was the coolest day of that week, but the high was still in the 80s here in L.A., and I was not about to have our oven on for nearly three hours. There are other options for braising short ribs including slow cooker and Instant Pot options that I found in the recipe notes for this short rib recipe. I was also driven slightly mad by one ingredient in Deb’s recipe: “1 large carrot, chopped (about 1 1/2 cups).” I’m sorry, how fucking enormous is your (1) carrot that when chopped, it fills 1 ½ cups?! I used baby carrots, because I always have them on hand for snacking, and it took nearly half of a 16 oz. bag to come up with 1 ½ cups! Please show me any single carrot that weighs 8 oz! Deb, you crazy for this one!

All in all? I thought the flavors were gorgeous and complex. I love all the different layers (pun always intended) that onions can bring to a dish. French onion soup is a peasant dish, yet it contains a world of flavor. This definitely feels like a distinctly winter/cold weather dish, though, and I wish that I had had the patience to wait until December or January to make it. Also, at the end of the day, it’s just a fancy soup. It took me about five hours to prepare, including some passive cooking time, but not as much as I thought. Next time I spend half a day making a dish, I would like it to be more impressive-looking.

2. The next day, Sunday, our friends invited us over for a little watch party for a big F1 race. They recently got into car racing after watching a show about it on Netflix. I knew they were making chili, so I decided to bring my mom’s baked mac and cheese. It was a hit! It was very nice of them to host, but I don’t know that they made much of an F1 fan out of me. The race was very long (like two hours?) and unfortunately, pretty predictable. I’m used to watching horse racing with my dad where the races last less than two minutes and it’s truly anyone’s game. But whatever, it was great to see our friends and their little dog who we adore, they had mimosas, and I actually won the bingo game they’d made out of it, so I got a Starbucks gift card!

3. Last Monday, Budget Bytes posted a recipe for chicken and dumplings that looked so good, I knew I had to try it immediately. I’ve never made or even eaten chicken and dumplings before, but the recipe was very easy to follow. And talk about cozy! It had a very similar flavor profile to chicken pot pie, but was much less fussy to make. The only tweak I made to that recipe was using fresh thyme, rosemary, and sage instead of dried, since I already had them on hand for another recipe. The dumplings were fluffy heaven, and the leftovers were a real treat as well. Delish!!

4. Part of my cost consciousness has been trying to cook with less meat, so I also made one of my favorite meatless dinners last week, Spanish-style spinach and chickpeas, which I happily file under “accidentally vegan.” The fussiest part of that recipe is making the fried bread mash, but do NOT skip it, it provides all the flavor and texture of this incredible dish. It binds the chickpeas and spinach together and makes a light, almost creamy sauce. I would also highly suggest adding at least a half teaspoon of smoked paprika to the chickpea mix at the end, even if you plan on sprinkling some on top. It really makes the dish. And, of course, serve it with crostini. I also like to sprinkle crumbled feta on mine, or top it with some serrano ham or prosciutto, but that de-vegans it.

5. Last Thursday, I made this one pot lemon chicken and orzo. It was absolutely delicious! Why don’t I cook with orzo more? Oh right, because I can never fucking find it at my grocery store. One tweak: I was worried about the chicken thighs being cooked through after just pan frying them, so I added them back to the pot after adding the stock and mustard at step five, and let them simmer in the liquid, covered, for about 10 minutes. I removed them again, did the orzo and kale etc., and then put them back in the pot at the very end. With all the fresh herbs, my apartment smelled fucking amazing. The lemon flavor was lovely and not too strong, but I was definitely glad I had the zest in there, otherwise, I don’t know if it would have come through. I will 100% make this again! After all, who doesn’t love a one-pot meal?

6. Last Friday morning, I went back to Budget Bytes and made their apple cinnamon baked oatmeal recipe. I have been really struggling with breakfast this year. Whatever I choose to eat always ends up feeling like either too much or not enough, so I often don’t eat anything at all until after noon. Plus, I’m not a morning person, so I really need something grab-and-go. But I’m working on it, and part of that is trying to batch cook things I can eat for breakfast several days in a row, to remove the decision fatigue. Hence, this baked oatmeal. It was very easy to make, but I thought it was just okay. I kept feeling like I was eating a dessert that wasn’t sweet enough. My husband, on the other hand, liked that it wasn’t too sweet. I suppose I could have added some maple syrup on top or something. I probably will not make this again, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad recipe.

7. Another batch breakfast recipe I tried was these savory zucchini and cheese muffins. The only tweak I made to that recipe was adding a few good shakes of garlic powder to the dry ingredients in step two. They were REALLY good! Like savory scones, but moist from the zucchini, and so much easier to make. The hardest part was waiting for them to cool once they got out of the oven, because they smelled incredible. I will definitely be trying out some other savory muffin recipes in the future.

8. On Halloween, I decided that we needed a sweet treat in the house, so I made these salted brown butter crispy treats. Honestly? I don’t know that browning the butter made such a big taste difference – I would say the inclusion of salt made a bigger one. But Rice Krispies treats are always good, and they’re one of Ross’s favorites, so it made him happy. Plus, is there anything easier to make? If you’ve never made them before, you really must, they take all of five minutes and you don’t even have to turn your oven on.

9. I found a super easy recipe for honey garlic pork chops that turned out so tasty! I served them with a pear, blue cheese, walnut, and arugula salad that had me questioning why I rarely make my own salads besides the simple kale and broccoli Caesar that we eat like once a week. We almost always have a salad with dinner, but it is usually a bagged one. I also made rosemary mashed gold potatoes and roasted carrots with fresh dill, but that salad was the true star of the show.

10. And finally, time for a FAIL. With all the cooking I’ve done in the last two weeks, I was well overdue one. On Halloween night, I attempted the Smitten Kitchen winter squash and spinach pasta bake. It sounded incredible: pieces of butternut squash and spinach baked with flat pasta and three cheeses until it becomes a decadent casserole with a crispy top? Seasonal AND delicious! I loved how simple the prep was, that I basically just had to mix everything together and pour it into a dish. However, I fucked up. Or maybe the recipe fucked up? You’ll have to make the call. The first way I fucked up was by not reading the bake and rest times for this recipe carefully enough before getting started, because they turned out to be way longer than I expected (a total of two hours!), and I should have started the whole thing earlier. That one was my bad. 

Deb baked hers in a deep dish nine-inch pie pan, but said you could also put it in a 9x13 inch casserole dish. I chose to do the latter, because something bothered me about the idea of making a round baked pasta. That just don’t sit right with me. However, I made the rookie mistake of blindly trusting the bake times in the recipe and not even checking in on the dish while it was baking to see how it was doing. That was very stupid. What can I say? I was having a Halloween beer and making a lemony parmesan kale salad as a side and picking away at this newsletter in between. Unfortunately, when I took the casserole out of the oven for the final time, it was definitely overbaked. I was bummed, because I’d been waiting for that fucking thing to bake for an hour and a half! We still ate it, and Ross actually seemed to like how “crispy” it was, but this is definitely one I’m going to have to remake another time and watch like a hawk. So, be forewarned, if you make this in a 9x13, you likely won’t have to bake it as long.

Alright, Jesus H, that’s enough! Next week I will send out this month’s newsletter for paid subscribers, but even free subscribers will be able to read the intro part before the paywall.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top. You can also upgrade to a paid subscription if you want more content–there’s a special button for you at the bottom of this email!

Until next time—make yourself something cozy.

Love,
Liz
XOXO

How are you? I hope you’re doing well and having a beautiful day. Last weekend, I had a lovely time out in Joshua Tree/Pioneertown with my husband Ross and our dear old buddy. We were often without cell service for hours at a time, and man, did I ever need that break from social media! Instead of doomscrolling, we drove around Joshua Tree National Park and looked at giant rocks that have been there for millions of years. I find it so soothing when nature makes me feel small and insignificant. I feel that way when I look at the ocean, too. Like we humans are such idiots running around thinking that our tiny blip of time on this Earth means anything. It’s probably the closest I get to spirituality these days.

I am, of course, horrified by the humanitarian crisis in Gaza and want the hostages to be released and want a ceasefire and want the U.S. to stop funding war crimes and want peace and want children to get to grow up and want all of us to stop fucking attacking each other. This is probably the most divisive political topic I’ve ever encountered in my lifetime. Even people on the same “side” are arguing with each other, about what they’re saying and how they’re saying it. Words are really failing us right now. I have my own opinions but they’re not static, as I’m constantly learning from others and watching the situation develop, and I have a lot of empathy for different perspectives. For that reason, I’ve decided that I’m going to be mostly keeping the actions I’m taking off of social media and this newsletter from now on. It’s all too much and I don’t want to cause anyone more pain, or say something today that might not be true tomorrow. I wish we could all just grant each other a little more grace.

I was supposed to be in New York City today, but unfortunately, circumstances changed at the last minute due to Covid and I made the difficult decision to cancel my trip. I am super bummed to be missing my dear, dear friend’s wedding, but at the same time, I have to own that decision. I probably would have made a different decision if I was local or if X factor or Y factor were different, but it is what it is.

I hope my friend knows how much I love her and hope she has the most amazing day. I like to think that good friendships are stretchy and accommodating. I’ve known my friend since college, a good 15+ years, but I really got to know her when we lived together in a shared house senior year. She is short but fierce as fuck, a world traveler, an educator, a Capricorn, has the darkest sense of humor of anyone I know, and is an amazing cook (she got me to like kugel!). I will never forget waking up the morning after Halloween senior year to find her just coming home from the hospital after she somehow broke her tooth making out with a guy dressed like a mustard bottle. Or her transformation from famously hating cats to becoming a total cat lady with two of her own. Or her and my other dear friend’s speech at my wedding calling themselves my sisters… my Seven Sisters. She is brilliant and funny and tough and wonderful and I hope she and her husband-to-be have the best day!

Let’s get into some things:

- Monday marks the beginning of Scorpio season! Scorpios are enigmatic, passionate, moody, seductive, intense, determined, and fearless. They love their little grudges and while they may not react to a slight in the moment, they’ll never forgive OR forget it. They speak more with their eyes than their tongues (they give epic side-eye). They are known for being absolutely filthy in bed. They love things that are dark and twisted – hello, Halloween birthdays? They are epic secret-keepers. They can be your best friends or your worst enemies – indeed, a lot of evil people throughout history have been Scorpios, but a lot of great artists, too. They can be quite cynical but that’s just them being protective of their hearts because, like all water signs, they feel things deeply. I also find them to be very funny and sarcastic, but I tend to attract those kinds of people in general.

Scorpio is probably the most maligned sign in the zodiac due to their intensity, but honestly? I fucking love a Scorpy. But then, I’m unhinged and live for other people’s drama, and Scorpios are very dramatic. A fast food worker will forget their ranch and then suddenly they’re in a blood feud with the McDonald’s. I have Venus, Mercury, and Pluto in Scorpio in my chart (you can do yours for free here). My mom is a Scorpio and my dad is a Scorpio-Sag cusp, which is why I’m in therapy (I kid, I kid… mostly). I also have a cousin who’s a Scorpio, and growing up, I feel like she and my mom would have similar reactions to a lot of things, where they would be quiet in the moment with Mona Lisa smiles, then later offer some devastatingly accurate observation about what happened. To that end, I also find Scorpios to not be the best communicators, because they will bottle things up even when you can clearly tell they’re upset about something. But they are just protecting themselves, because they are actually very sensitive inside. Like the squishy guts of a scorpion itself.

Famous Scorpios include Ryan Gosling, Joaquin Phoenix, Frank Ocean, Winona Ryder, Lorde, Sylvia Plath, and RuPaul. I feel like they all have an air of mystery around them, no? A lot of them are very private people despite being celebrities. And how many times has a contestant on Drag Race said that they never knew what RuPaul was really thinking? That’s very Scorpio.

So, how best to celebrate Scorpio season? For god’s sake, do something spooky!! Watch a serial killer documentary! Hold a seance! Hold a grudge! Adopt a black cat! Do some kinky shit in bed! Wear black lipstick! Hell, wear black everything! Say less, side-eye more!

- Cooking. I haven’t gotten to cook much this week, but I am going to tackle a big, all-day cooking project on Saturday that I’m very excited about, which I’ll tell you all about in my next newsletter (cooking cliffhanger!!). The one dish I did make was this broccoli bolognese with orecchiette. As you may suspect, this is a bolognese in name only, and thankfully takes much, much less time to make – it’s a definite weeknight contender. I love broccoli, I love sausage, and I love simple, emulsified sauces made with pasta cooking water, so this was right up my alley. I really liked that I was able to make this with only two pots that I reused multiple times for different steps (as did my husband, I’m sure, since it was his turn to do the dishes). It turned out great! Super tasty and kind of earthy from the broccoli, with a little kick from the red pepper flakes.

This is a very forgiving recipe. It’s okay if you don’t get the timing just right and one part needs to sit for a few minutes while you finish another part. Did it drive me nuts that the recipe insisted on 12 oz. each of pasta and sausage, when both of those items usually come in 16 oz. packages? Of course! But instead of having a breakdown like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride (1991), I just said “fuck it” and added the whole pound of each, then added a little more broccoli and pasta water to the equation. I didn’t add anything else to it except salt and pepper, at step five, when I mixed in the pasta, but you could certainly throw in a splash of white wine or lemon juice for brightness, or try different kinds of sausage, or maybe even try it with cauliflower or romanesco, or ooh, maybe add some toasted pine nuts at the end?? The possibilities are truly endless! 

- I Didn’t Have the Eggs (r/ididnthavetheeggs on Reddit). Speaking of being flexible with recipes: this subreddit is dedicated to those infamous recipe comments from people who make bizarre substitutions or don’t follow directions and then complain about how the recipe turns out. It’s incredible. I saw a recent post from a woman who substituted shredded kale for carrots in CARROT CAKE because carrots “have too much sugar” (OMG, please get a grip). It did not turn out to her liking. I also loved the person who commented to complain that printing a recipe jammed their printer, as if that’s the recipe’s fault. The person who put cheddar cheese and lemon juice in their penne alla vodka really haunts me, though. Not because that’s gross (it is), but because they LOVED IT. There are some freaks out here in these streets, y’all.

- @pleasehatethesethings on Instagram. I love this account, but I think it might drive some of you to the brink. They post pictures of maddeningly bad design fails and flaws, like stairs placed five inches to the left of the door above them, or toilets wedged into spaces where no toilet should be. So much misalignment!! If that makes your eye twitch, I apologize, but I really enjoy their posts.

- Kylie Minogue, Tension. This pop album came out about a month ago and it’s become my go-to walking music. It’s great for exercise or doing chores or just getting up and moving your body. Personally, I liked Kylie’s last album, Disco, a little bit better. I’m just a sucker for a theme, and I think Disco was a little more cohesive. But there are a lot of great songs on this new record, like “Hold On To Now,” “Vegas High,” “10 Out Of 10,” and of course, “Padam Padam.” Check it out if you need something energetic to listen to.

- The Real Housewives of New York City, season 14 (Bravo, Peacock). I wanted to give my final thoughts on the new iteration of RHONY now that I’ve watched the whole season. Overall, I enjoyed it. I think the refresh was needed, and for the most part, they did a great job with casting. The drama was very low-stakes, but it’s essentially the first season of a new show. I can forgive that. One of the things I love about the Housewives is the rich and complicated history the cast members grow to have with each other as time goes on. You can’t force that, or make it happen overnight. I would happily watch a second season with this cast, with one exception, and I’ll explain that in a minute. Here are my thoughts on the cast:

• Jessel - My opinion of her changed so much over the course of this season! At first I thought she was a clueless snob, but I really grew to love her and find her very funny and charming by the end. I think I was taking her too seriously at first. Jessel is just harmlessly ditzy and weird (I still laugh at her calling Tribeca “up and coming”). She also happens to be a Scorpio, which makes her little list of grievances in her phone even more hilarious.

• Ubah - She’s unique because she doesn’t seem to pick the same side over and over again when people argue. She really thinks for herself on a case by case basis, which is refreshing. I also like how she stands up for single women. I agree with her that no one should ever ask someone, “Why are you still single?” Ick.

• Jenna - Yes, she’s soft-spoken, but I don’t find her to be dull at all. Her life isn’t non-stop glamor like I think some people expected, but she’s quirky and interesting. I don’t know if she’ll return, though, because she doesn’t seem to like conflict, and conflict-averse people really struggle on these shows.

• Brynn - I like her a lot, but I didn’t love her queerbaiting or over-the-top constant flirting with everyone. I think she has so much more to offer than being super sexual. Like, her interest in antique books is really cool. She’s also a total pot-stirrer and that’s so necessary on this show.

• Erin - I liked her a lot at first but woof, did that change in these last few episodes! She’s really become a villain, and I think that’s going to be hard for her to accept. They should keep her on the show for another season, for sure. They need her.

• Sai - I don’t hate Sai like a lot of the fans seem to, she’s just not “giving,” as the kids say. She’s a villain but doesn’t engage, she’s a fashion influencer but has served us zero looks. She’s the one person I would vote to cut from this cast. She’s just dead weight dragging them down at this point.

- I know I’m kind of all over the place in this newsletter but I have to tell you all about the concert I went to out in the desert last weekend. This year, I am only going to see artists I loved as a teenager around “the turn of the century,” and not to be totally corny, but it’s honestly been really fulfilling, and actually kind of healing for my inner child??

So last Sunday, I dragged my husband and our friend to Pappy + Harriet’s to see Everclear, with the Ataris and the Pink Spiders opening. Pappy + Harriet’s is an amazing barbecue restaurant near Joshua Tree that also hosts live music. Everyone from Paul McCartney to Peaches has played there. It’s in Pioneertown, which is this weird little old west town that Hollywood filmmakers built in the 1940s to use as a film set. It has major Frontierland vibes. The last time I was at Pappy + Harriet’s was pre-Covid, to see Waxahatchee at a cramped indoor show, and they’ve since moved most of their shows to an outdoor space, which I think is much, much better.

Apparently, this was the final show in a long tour. First up were the Pink Spiders, a pop-punk group from Nashville, and they were pretty fun. At the end of their set, they started playing “Boys of Summer” as a “tour prank” on the Ataris (I don’t know if you are old enough to remember this or were engaged in pop-punk at all in the early ‘00s, but the Ataris’ cover of “Boys of Summer” was probably their biggest single). They stopped just before the chorus, though. It made me curious what the dynamic was like between all the bands. I know from musician friends who have toured with bands before that there is almost always some kind of interpersonal drama involved. I find that shit fascinating.

Next up were the Ataris, and honestly? They were great! They sounded just like their records, maybe even better. I can’t say that I have listened to them much lately, but it was delightful to see some live pop-punk again. Brought me back to going to all-ages shows at shitty venues in Jersey back in the day. If you have any interest in seeing the Ataris live, I would say, go for it! It was a super fun set.

And then there was Everclear, the real draw for me. I think most people probably remember Everclear for their singles “Father of Mine” and “I Will Buy You a New Life” in the late ‘90s, but don’t think about them much these days. Not me! Their first two studio albums, Sparkle and Fade and So Much for the Afterglow are some of my favorite records of all time, and they’re still in heavy rotation for me. The dark, autobiographical lyrics about girlfriends overdosing on heroin and deadbeat dads and welfare Christmases set to this sunny-yet-grungy Californian pop-rock is just fucking catnip to me. Oh, the way teenage me would rock out to that shit in my two-parent upper middle class suburban home! Like, “yeah, this guy gets it!”

All that said… this was the first time I have gone to see a band that I loved as a teenager and thought, oof, they are… a little past their prime. Look, Art Alexakis is 61 years old, god bless him, he’s a slightly cringey older rocker dad now, and he can’t hit all the same notes that he used to. And something about the way they played just felt a little sloppy. I feel bad saying this because I have so much love for their music and I’m not trying to be ageist. Although, I don’t think it’s necessarily an age thing. Kathleen Hanna is 54, and when I saw her with Le Tigre earlier this year, she sounded exactly the same as she did when I saw her 10 years ago. And that woman YELLS.

Another thing about Everclear is that they played for SO long, I think almost two hours. Now, I knew every song, but even I reached a point where I was like, “they have got to start wrapping this shit up.” I mean, they even played their single off the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack! I thought they were going to start playing some of their hidden tracks! The guys I dragged to the show were pretty over it, but they stayed ‘til the bitter end with me to hear “Santa Monica,” which I appreciate. And then we walked back to the Airbnb and chilled in the hot tub and looked up at the stars (the stars out in the desert are AMAZING!) and I think they’ve since forgiven me for making them watch a two-hour set of a band they didn’t really know. But I’m pretty sure it will be a long time before they ever listen to Everclear again.

Aaaaand let’s leave it there. I’ll be back in two weeks with a new newsletter. I hope you have an amazing Halloween!

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top. You can also upgrade to a paid subscription if you want more content–there’s a special button for you at the bottom of this email!

Until next time—stay spooky.

Love,
Liz
XOXO

This has been a really tough week for the world and while I normally try to keep this newsletter as an oasis of (mostly) positivity, I feel the need to acknowledge the horrific violence in Israel and Gaza. To be honest, I wrote out five paragraphs on this subject and rewrote them over and over again over the course of this week, agonizing over the perfect words to say. Trying desperately to ease everyone’s pain and acknowledge and validate so many different viewpoints on this incredibly complicated conflict.

It’s now 11pm on Thursday night, and I’ve just deleted them all. I realize that there is nothing I can say that will be enough right now. Emotions are too high. Hearts are too broken and need to heal. I think I’m a good writer, but I’m not THAT good.

I believe that you can support the Israeli people without blanketly supporting the Israeli government.

I believe that you can support Palestinian liberation without supporting Hamas.

I believe that you can support justice for one group of people without scapegoating or throwing another group of people under the bus.

I believe that no group of people should be treated as disposable.

I believe that multiple things can be true.

I believe in nuance.

I believe in clarity.

And I desperately hope for an end to this terrible cycle of violence.

I know that that’s not enough. I’m sorry. I’m here with you.

Now, I invite you to join me in taking a deep breath in and out, and then hugging your pet, if you have one and if it will let you. The rest of this newsletter will be very silly and stupid, I promise.

Love to you all. 🤍

* * *

So. How are you? Aside from ~the horrors~, I’m actually doing pretty well. The day that this newsletter comes out happens to be my birthday! I hesitate to tell you my new age, because in Hollywood years, I am ancient, but fuck it: today, I am 37. But a young 37. Maybe the youngest 37 there ever was?

Fun fact: today is also my mother-in-law’s birthday! When I tell people that my mother-in-law and I share the same birthday, they tend to grimace, expecting stories of drama and conflict to follow, but it’s actually never really been an issue, because we are both reasonable people. The only thing we compete on is who will be the first to call and wish the other a happy shared birthday. She always beats me with the better card, though; one year, she even found one that said something like “I love sharing a birthday with you.” I was amazed. There has to be a pretty small demographic for that type of card, no? Like, mostly twins, I guess? Anyway, my mother-in-law is awesome, I hope she’s having a great day today!

Some people hate their birthdays, or at least, don’t like to celebrate them much, and I totally respect that, but honestly? I love my birthday. I love getting calls and messages from my friends and family all day long letting me know they’re thinking about me. I almost always take the day off. I started doing that in my early 20s because I hated my first job and the thought of having a sad corporate birthday party at the office made me want to die, but then I realized how nice it was to have a random day off in mid-October and just kept doing it. I sleep in, eat something indulgent for breakfast, and spend the day doing whatever the fuck I want. It’s great.

My husband Ross always spoils me rotten on my birthday. It is honestly usually a multi-day celebration, with dinner and a show. I know, I’m the worst. But I always go overboard with HIS birthday, too, because it’s right around Christmas and everyone knows that sucks, so I like to think he just matches my energy. ;) We usually surprise-decorate the living room the night before each other’s birthdays and get a cake from Porto’s (DROOL). And he is the most thoughtful gift giver ever. I try, but Ross always beats me. One time, years ago, we were watching Modern Family together and I mentioned offhand that I liked a mug Cam was using, and months later, on my birthday, guess what I got? He’s the best.

So tonight, we’re going out for a nice dinner at a restaurant in town, then tomorrow, we’ll be driving out to the desert with a dear old friend to chill and go see a concert. I’ll tell you all about it next week. I am just so excited to get out of my apartment building and get out of Los Angeles, even if it’s only for two nights. The desert is beautiful in the fall, when it’s finally not too hot. I can’t wait to look up at all the stars at night, and soak in the peace and quiet.

Well, after all the drama last week with our apartment building shutting off the water repeatedly, we were finally able to relax that weekend… by taking our car into the shop. We were driving to Pasadena to pick up takeout sushi on Friday night and started getting weird dashboard alerts, and the car started shaking. One visit to Pep Boys and eight hundred dollars later (OUCH), all is fixed, but damn, we have had some kind of run of bad luck these past few weeks! It’s just been one thing after another. I swear that I don’t normally complain this much. I am usually a pretty happy, optimistic person. You should see me on my walks, I’m smiling at butterflies, cats, dogs, hummingbirds, even at crows because I read somewhere they remember faces, and I’m not trying to get on their bad side. Bottom line? I’m a cheerful f*cking b*tch, okay?!

Next weekend, I’ll be traveling to New York City to attend a bestie’s wedding. I’m SO happy for her and it sounds like it will be a really fun, intimate celebration. I don’t know if there’s a place on Earth I love more than New York City in the fall. Also, I’ll be crashing with a good buddy in Harlem and I get to meet his dog for the first time!! Yay! I’ll only be there for three nights so unfortunately, I won’t get to see family and probably won’t even leave Manhattan, to be honest. But I come back for a week around Thanksgiving and another wedding in January, so I’m hoping to catch up with more people then.

Let’s get into some things:

- Cooking. This week, Ross requested that we have a “white person taco night.” You know: hard shell tacos with basic seasoned ground beef, with little bowls of toppings like chopped iceberg lettuce and fresh tomatoes, shredded cheese, etc. My mom used to do that all the time growing up and it was the best! I can’t remember the last time I did that as an adult, though, so I thought it was a great idea. I have a deep love and appreciation of authentic Mexican food, and living in Los Angeles, we are blessed with an abundance of it, but sometimes you just want the fake stuff, ya know? We ate the tacos with yellow rice and an avocado-ranch salad, and watched Dracula: Dead and Loving It. A very decent Taco Tuesday indeed.

I also made chicken parm and served it with that one-pot farro with tomatoes I told you about last week. This time, I added a splash of white wine to the farro when it was about halfway done cooking, and it really added depth and flavor. Delish!! I usually serve chicken parm with spaghetti in tomato sauce, but that’s kind of boring and blah, why not mix things up a bit? I think the combo really worked!

Lately, I’ve been really wanting to make some kind of special, super time-intensive baked pasta dish that involves hours of sauce simmering, like lasagna bolognese or this baked rigatoni with lamb ragu. Any other suggestions? 

Things I Can’t Live Without

Recently, I read this New York Mag interview with writer Samantha Irby about the things she can’t live without, and I loved how real she got (a toilet paper rec!). I decided that I would do the same and share the items that I use the most in my daily life. Enjoy!

- World's Best Unscented Clumping Corn Cat Litter ($18.35 for a 15-lb bag). When we adopted our darling cat, our contact at the shelter (who was at the time a friend of my husband’s who later went off the no-vax right-wing deep end, yikes) suggested this cat litter, because it’s biodegradable and YOU CAN FLUSH IT DOWN THE TOILET! We have tried other litter situations, but the perk of being able to flush our cat’s waste when we scoop just far outweighs any other potential cons. We keep the litter box in the bathroom and it is so damn easy. It does NOT clog the toilet. We’ve been using this for over 10 years now. I’ve tried multiple varieties of this litter and don’t see much of a difference between them, honestly. They have a customer in me for life.

- Fjällräven Classic Kånken backpack ($90). This little backpack has been my go-to everyday bag for almost 10 years now. I first bought one when I was living in Brooklyn, because a friend was working at Fjällräven at the time and got me a discount. When you live in New York, you are always walking everywhere and schlepping stuff around, so having a bag with some decent volume that equally distributes its weight across both of your shoulders is a big plus. I sometimes think about replacing it with something fancier, but it is just so lightweight and easy. It can fit my favorite 32 oz. water bottle, a cardigan, a book, and even a laptop if I need it. I LOVE it for travel because I can zip it closed and carry everything I need for the day in it. The only thing I don’t like is that it is very casual, so it doesn’t go with every outfit. And it’s too big for certain venues and museums, but that comes with the backpack territory.

- Large stainless steel mixing bowls ($11.16 each). We got two of these bowls as wedding gifts, and I use them almost every day. I use them for salads, popcorn, mixing up meatball mince, and of course, baking. They are sturdy and resilient workhorses in a way that I don’t trust my Pyrex set of glass mixing bowls. They’re super easy to clean and can go in the dishwasher no problem. In my opinion, everyone needs at least one.

- Stemless wine glasses. We have lovely classic wine glasses for when company is over, but if it’s just me and my husband, we usually default to our stemless wine glasses. We have a kitty who likes to jump on tables and a husband who likes to put his feet up on the coffee table and a wife who has been known to break things while tipsy, so it is just much safer this way. I like these cute stainless steel cups from ban.do, although they’re a bit pricey. I also think this set is quite pretty.

- Adidas slides ($35). Adidas makes the comfiest, coolest slides I know. Sometimes you just need an easy slip-on shoe for a quick run to pick up the mail or take the garbage out. These are perfect for that. I usually go barefoot in my apartment but I like to wear these when I’m cooking for a little support. They are much nicer looking than Crocs, in my opinion. I will never wear Crocs. *shudders*

- o.b. Original Non-Applicator Tampons ($7.68 for 40). Yeah, that’s right. I’m going there. These are my favorite tampons. They are really fucking comfortable and are super compact, so if you work in an office, you can easily palm one and walk all the way across the office to the bathroom with it and no one will know. They are also pretty environmentally-friendly, because they do not come with applicators. I know that that’s controversial. A lot of people love their Tampax Pearls and do not want to, as Reductress so eloquently put it once, finger fuck themselves in a public bathroom. But for me, I don’t like the way that Tampax tampons expand sideways so that when you remove them, you’re pulling a big rectangle out of yourself. Do you know what I mean? O.b. tampons remain cylindrical. That’s more comfortable to me. Anyway, if you’ve never tried them before, maybe give them a go?

And on tampons, let’s leave it there.

Don’t forget to like and comment on this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top. You can also catch up on all the premium content I’ve released so far right here.

Until next time—think of peace.

Love,
Liz
XOXO

Happy October! How are you?? I’m doing well! This is going to be a longer one to make up for last newsletter’s shorty. I seem to have recovered from my recent bout of writer’s block, thank goodness. Sometimes when I am feeling blocked, I tell myself, “Okay, Liz, now you’re FORBIDDEN to write for the next week.” It helps me to take the pressure off myself and focus on “input.” (Shoutout to Caitlin Kunkel for introducing me to that concept–check out her great newsletter Input/Output if you are a creative!) I almost always find that by the time I “allow” myself to write again, I’m all pent up with ideas and can’t wait to get some words down.

I was talking to another writer friend about this over dinner recently, and how even though I’ve had all this free time since I’ve been unemployed, I simply can’t write for eight hours a day straight on a regular basis. And she said that she thinks down time is actually essential to the creative process. I’m sure I’m going to misquote her, but she said something like writing doesn’t just happen when you’re sitting in front of your computer. You could be going for a walk, or doing dishes, or taking a shower, and things could be percolating in the back of your head. I like that.

We also happened to be interrupted during dinner by the happy news that the WGA had made a deal to resolve the strike, so we got to cheers to that! (Side note: if you go to Salazar, you MUST try their prickly pear margarita. Such a pretty color, and so tasty!) My friend has some major stuff in the works, so I’m really excited that she gets to move forward with that. And I get to move forward with querying agents for representation, which I am totally going to start doing. Soon. SAG-AFTRA still has to negotiate their contract, so productions can’t resume quite yet, but I’m hoping that will be settled soon, too, and then more places in the industry will start hiring, and then I can finally find a new day job. We shall see, but the situation is more hopeful than it’s been in months for sure.

I know that some of you have been waiting with bated breath to hear the latest update on my shitty apartment building (previous installment here). To recap, my husband Ross and I are fortunate enough to live in a 3BR/2BA apartment in Highland Park that costs the same as what many 1BR/1BA apartments are going for in our neighborhood now (got in on a pre-vaccine Covid rate). We love our neighborhood and each having our own office. However, there is a big trade-off, in that the building management sucks and takes forever to fix anything (we once went without having mailboxes for nearly four months), and we have shitty, loud neighbors.

The latest bullshit from the management company is that there is a crisis-level leak they’ve been working on in another apartment that has forced them to turn the water off, without warning, for hours and overnight over the past three days. My husband goes to the gym in the evenings, and he’s had to shower at a nearby friend’s apartment the last two nights! There was also an apparently unrelated issue with the garage door not opening which meant we had to park our car on the street. We also have a termite infestation in three rooms that they still haven’t treated yet, and it’s been hot, so they’ve been out. There are bugs crawling on my floor and I haven’t been able to properly brush my teeth in days. I am in hell!!!!

The one bright point is that this latest nonsense has finally convinced my husband that once our lease is up and I have a new job, we are out of here, even if it means downsizing. The cheap rent has been nice, but it’s not worth it for our sanity. We are on a lease until March and I’m currently unemployed, so we aren’t going anywhere for a few months. But at least the idea of moving makes me want to die slightly less than the idea of staying.

As for our neighbors, as some of you know, it really got rough about a year ago when a new family moved in. The mom and her male partner constantly fight and scream at each other in the halls and the front of the building, they blast bad music (and don’t even pay for Spotify Premium, so we hear ads), and their kids run around playing and shrieking in the parking garage in the center of the building, which is not only dangerous, but reverberates throughout the whole building! Sometimes the kids ding dong ditch us. One of them once asked me for money, I think for the ice cream truck. And they have a new baby, because of course they do, things were clearly going so well in their relationship already!

Well, the latest update is that on Labor Day, they had a full-on barbecue in the parking garage underneath the building. I don’t mean to be a total square, but I was worried about them catching the building on fire, because that’s something I could totally see them doing. That’s not okay, right? You don’t light up a grill where there are walls and a ceiling over you, right? I mean, we live in a neighborhood with many parks, I just don’t see the appeal of grilling up some burgers next to the dumpster and other people’s oil stains.

And then last Monday, when I went out for my morning walk, I walked past the parents waking and baking just outside the front of the building, taking rips from a full-on bong. Look, I’m pretty pro-weed, and I live in California, so I am often walking through clouds of other peoples’ weed smoke. I totally get that it can be medicinal for some people, but bringing a bong out to the sidewalk at 10:45 in the morning on a weekday is a bit much, no? It occurred to me that I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bong outdoors before.

The only thing I like about this family is that they have two pitbulls who are ADORABLE. One is a puppy, and OMG, it’s so cute! (They are always running around off-leash, of course.) Also, the kids are very sweet, they are just poorly behaved. I feel really bad for them that they’re in that situation with their adults always fighting. And no, we would never call building management or the cops on them, because we refuse to be Karens, but man, it is rough some days! At least they give me material to write about, I guess!

Good lord, let’s get into some things:

- @hehashispickle on Instagram. This IG account documents the undying love between a gray tuxedo cat and his toy pickle, which he loves to carry around in his mouth. That is all. That’s the whole thing. I love him.

- Cooking. I was utterly stumped on what to make for dinner last week, so I asked Ross if he had any suggestions, and he said maybe a grain bowl or salad. That inspired me to give this one-pot farro with tomatoes a go. I had never cooked farro before, but this recipe insisted it was easy, so I gave it a shot. I had to special order the farro from Amazon because my grocery store didn’t have it, but otherwise, the recipe was indeed very simple! You basically throw everything into a pot and simmer it. I was a little skeptical about simmering fresh onions and tomatoes with water, but it was super flavorful! We ate it as a vegetarian entree with a Caesar salad and had no leftovers, but in the future, I think it would do better as a side, maybe with some kind of caprese chicken breast or garlic shrimp situation. I also think it would be dynamite with some fresh mozzarella thrown in, or burrata on top. 

Ross also suggested salmon, so I decided to try a new recipe from Barefoot Contessa, roasted salmon with green herbs. It looked and tasted very gourmet, but was incredibly easy to make! I think this could be an impressive dinner party or date night option. I will say that the salmon ended up taking closer to 20 minutes in the oven to cook properly, but then, after resting, it was perfect. The only tweak I made was leaving out the scallions, because I just wasn’t feeling like onions that day. I served the salmon with these roasted carrots, which made use of the leftover fresh dill, and some pine nut couscous. Delish! 

I also got all the ingredients to make my famous chicken broccoli and wild rice casserole, although as I write this, it is still unclear if I’ll be able to make it tonight (still no water, and I need to at least wash the veggies and my hands). I shared a loose recipe for this in my newsletter way back in 2020, but here’s an updated recipe with firm measurements and everything (even metric!). It is hearty and cozy and warming in the way that only a casserole made with a canned soup can be, but it also contains lots of good whole grains, vegetables, and lean meat. You can also easily leave out the chicken or substitute a vegetarian “meat” option for a filling meatless meal. It’s also made even easier because I use Ben’s Original microwavable rice packets (TIL that Uncle Ben’s is now Ben’s Original). I also included a few ideas for tweaks on the recipe so you can customize it to your liking, in true Liz Galvao style! Let me know if you try it!

- John Waters: Pope of Trash at the Academy Museum (Los Angeles). I haven’t been to the Academy Museum since taking my parents there when they were visiting earlier this year (recap here), but once I heard they were doing a new John Waters retrospective, I knew I had to go back. I LOVE John Waters, his wit and irreverence and love of bad taste. I have a special place in my heart for true independent filmmakers, who made their first movies by scraping together a few bucks and calling in favors and asking their friends to act, because that’s the only way I’ve ever made anything. I really admire his career, how he’s been able to diversify into writing books, too. Pope of Trash takes up a whole floor of the museum with costumes and props and many, many legal pads with Waters’ notes on his various productions. A real highlight for me was seeing one of the original barf bags they passed out at the first screenings of Pink Flamingos. The exhibit runs until August 4, 2024, so you have some time to get there. I also highly recommend this interview Waters recently did with the New Yorker regarding the exhibit and his new star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame–be sure to read to the end!

- Tower 28 Beauty SOS Daily Skin Barrier Redness Recovery Moisturizer ($24). Tower 28’s skincare products have completely spoiled me. I have gotten SO lazy about skin care lately, and yet my skin is still in great shape because of their product line! After I wash my face, I just use the Tower 28 SOS Daily Rescue Facial Spray as a toner, then use this new-ish Tower 28 moisturizer, and that’s it! My serums are rotting away in my bathroom cabinet, because these two products have had such a major impact on reducing redness and making my skin tone more even! Now, I will say, the moisturizer is pretty expensive considering how small the container is, but a little bit goes a long way. And I actually prefer a smaller product considering how often I end up traveling. It also plays well under makeup. I just wish it were a scootch less pricey, because the first time I ordered it and opened up the box I was like, “Damn, that’s all?” But I do ultimately find it to be worth it. YMMV! (Bonus tip: there’s rumored to be a Sephora sale coming at the end of the month/early November, so if you wait for that, you can probably get a few dollars off.)

- The Golden Bachelor (ABC, Hulu). I was SO excited about this new, “mature” season of The Bachelor, which features Gerry, a 71 year-old widower looking for new love. I know from my Real Housewives addiction that older women can be just as messy and dramatic as young ones. However, I watched the first episode and the season preview, and I don’t know, y’all. I’m worried that this is going to be an incredibly boring season. Most of the women seem firmly hinged, and all of them are age-appropriate. They don’t even seem to be drinking to excess! I just wish they’d have thrown in one or two 25 year-old gold diggers for some spice. You know? I’ll give it a few more episodes, but I’m skeptical.

- Selling the OC, season two (Netflix). The drama and idiotic behavior continues on the second season of this Selling Sunset spin-off, much to my delight! Much of the drama centers around women flirting/making out with Tyler, who was in the process of divorcing Brittany Snow (I know!! How dare he?) during the filming of this season. Here are some thoughts:

- Kayla must be dumb as a box of rocks if she really doesn’t understand the difference between trying to kiss a married man without his consent and consensually making out with a man going through a divorce. I mean, c’mon Kayla. Rub your two brain cells together and figure it out.

- Alex Hall insinuating that she was scared of Brandi hitting her during an argument was sooooo uncool. You just do not toss around accusations of violence like that at a Black woman. So damaging. She’s an asshole, and practically the definition of “weaponized white woman tears.”

- I have to say though, I thought it was really prude and unrealistic of Brandi to say that people getting divorced shouldn’t date “until the ink is dry.” Divorces can take years to finalize! It took Bethenny Frankel eight years to finalize her divorce from Jason Hoppy! Some states require you to be separated for over a year before you can even file! That’s not to mention that for many people, by the time they finally separate or file, the relationship is long over. I just feel like she is not living in a grown-up reality. Hey, I love and respect marriage, too, blah blah blah, but I recognize that not every marriage works out the same way. Jeez.

- Speaking of marriage, Austin’s wife is perhaps the least emotive person I have ever seen on TV before. Also, the story he told about her locking her legs around him? At a minimum, that uhhhh does not sound very healthy, no?

- What the fuck was the point of having so many scenes with Ali this season? She doesn’t live in Orange County, she doesn’t have her real estate license. It’s not like her deciding whether or not to join the O group was some big fucking existential crisis. Girl was clearly cast, although I’m not sure why. Surely they could’ve found another actor who actually has their real estate license and lives a lot closer than Nashville. I could name like three I personally know in L.A. just off the top of my head.

- I am SO curious about who is going to buy all those multimillion-dollar houses in Cabo that they’re trying to offload! There is something so gross to me about selling such extravagant vacation homes in a country with such a high poverty rate, especially when the money is going back out of the country to the goddamn Oppenheim Group!

My husband and I visited Cabo a few years ago, and I have to say, it was my least favorite place I’ve been in Mexico so far. It was so touristy and resorty, and it felt like the only things to do there were to go clubbing or get wasted, and as a married couple in our 30s celebrating our anniversary, that just wasn’t our scene. Or, I should say, that’s for Cabo San Lucas. I actually really enjoyed the brief time we spent in San Jose del Cabo, it seemed more low-key and artsy, and we went to some cool and interesting restaurants. When I travel, I don’t want to be catered to as an American, I want authentic local flavor! Otherwise, what the hell am I getting on a plane for?

- Love Is Blind, season five (Netflix). I loved the first season of this reality dating show, and watched the second season, too (it was okay), but have not been able to get through any other seasons until now. I threw on the newest season in desperation for an easy watch and half paid attention to it while I scrolled on my phone… until episode three, when there was a big twist! Oooh! Juicy!

There are some interesting characters on this season, like J.P., who is never not wearing something in an American flag print. I find that to be a red flag (and white and blue) (sorry). Please don’t report me for treason, but I have never found the American flag to be very aesthetically pleasing. I think the original flag Betsy Ross made with the circle of stars is kind of cute, but the modern flag looks like something a 10 year-old made in MS Paint in about half an hour. It’s no Union Jack, let me tell you!! I love the beautiful minimalism of the Japanese flag, the dope eagle on the Mexican flag. Why can’t we have something cool like that? Bah! But I digress. J.P. also said that he didn’t like his partner, Taylor’s, makeup, preferring her to go bare-faced, and when she pushed back on that, he told her that 99% of women would love a man to tell them that they prefer them with no makeup. I have to vehemently disagree with this take!!! I think most women would not want a man to tell them that the way they do their makeup is unattractive. Besides, most women I know wear makeup for themselves, not to attract a man.

There is so much to talk about with this season, but one thing that really bugged me was how Stacey took Izzy to task for only having plastic plates in his home. Don’t get me wrong, I did laugh out loud when I saw all the Solo cups in his cupboard, but also like… he’s a dude living alone. Who cares?? Y’all are engaged, you’re probably going to register for a whole new set of china anyway. This is someone you’re supposed to be in love with, so why are you focusing on such superficial things?

This is going to surprise no one, but I also thought it was gross when she said that she expects him to pick up the check every single time they go out to dinner. Look, she’s entitled to have her laundry list of requirements for a relationship, I just don’t get it. You’re engaged, living together, and presumably building a life together with shared financials as a part of that. Even if he slaps his card down, it’s both of your money paying for the dinner. So what does it matter?

But then again, those “traditional” values have always been pretty foreign to me. I once dated a super sweet guy who was really into chivalry and paying for things and opening doors for me and everything. I felt bad because he was genuinely a great guy and so many women would love that, but it just made me SO uncomfortable. I am nobody’s princess. On one of my first “dates” with my husband (because what even is a date when you’re in college?), we were walking around the Vassar golf course at night and he made me laugh so hard I farted in front of him. I was mortified but played it off like, “Yeah, so what” and his reaction to that (laughing until he cried and saying “that was awesome”) let me know I was with the right person. I’ve lost touch with Super Sweet Guy, but I really hope he found the right person, too.

On that note, let’s leave it here. I’ll be back next week with this month’s paid newsletter, but even if you’re a free subscriber, you’ll be able to read the intro part.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top. You can also upgrade to a paid subscription if you want more content–there’s a special button for you at the bottom of this email!

Until next time—long live trash!

Love,
Liz
XOXO

How are you doing? I’m not bad! I am doing considerably better than when I wrote to you last week, when I was dealing with a whole bunch of bureaucratic bullshit: healthcare, the unemployment office, student loans. It just felt like every problem I had to solve was some ridiculous multi-part quest. Do you ever have weeks like that? Don’t get me wrong, I’m still working on a few of those issues, but I’m in a much better place now. Maybe it’s because Mercury finally went direct, I don’t know (more astrology nonsense later!).

Last Sunday was my seventh wedding anniversary with my husband, Ross, although he had to travel that day for work, so we mostly celebrated the night before. We had a fabulous dinner at the Hippo “sponsored” by both sets of parents (thank youuu!), then went out dancing with friends. I wasn’t really feeling the music at the dance club, though, which was just a house beat. Last time I was there, they were playing pop music, which is much more my speed. I need lyrics!! I need my pop girlies!! Okay, fine, maybe I just need Beyoncé.

On Sunday morning, we exchanged gifts. We always like to try to do something on theme, and apparently, the seventh anniversary is for “wool and copper.” I got him a nice Pendleton blanket in the same black and red lumberjack print as our wedding invites (wool), and he got me a beautiful rose gold necklace (copper). It is so sparkly!! I love it! He also got my rose gold engagement ring fixed. It’s a Victorian antique, with tiny pieces of turquoise and pearl (I hate diamonds, and we were moving to L.A. at the time, so I loved that it had something from the desert and something from the sea). But the stones are always falling out, because I am a modern woman who cooks and scoops the litterbox and talks with her hands too much, instead of, idk, sitting quietly in a drawing room and sewing, or playing the piano-forte wistfully?? I love this ring so much, but I do wish it were a bit sturdier. I only wear it on special occasions now. Be forewarned, if you are considering an antique for your engagement ring.

Man, though, I gotta give a shoutout to Padani Jewelers in Studio City for the beautiful jewelry! Our friend and his family own the business, and they are wonderful. Go see them if you are looking for a special gift!

As I write this, there are rumblings that the WGA may be near a deal with the studios, and SAG-AFTRA may follow in early October. I hope so! I know that I and many other people would love the opportunity to work again, in this industry which has been at a total standstill for months. I also NEED the new season of Severance! What happens next? What was up with the goats? I’m dying to find out!

This is probably going to be a pretty short newsletter, because frankly, I just don’t have that much to write about this week! I’m having a bit of a block, to be honest, which is why this newsletter is late. I need to get some rest and refill the well.

That said, let’s get into a few things:

- Tomorrow, Saturday 9/23, we welcome the beginning of Libra season!! Libras are charismatic, diplomatic, social, fashionable, charming, justice-and-equality-minded, peacemakers. They love to be surrounded by art and luxury and beauty, and have exquisite taste. Nobody likes to go shopping more than a Libra. They can also be intellectuals, and social justice is also very important to them. They are all about balance and fairness and considering every possible viewpoint (which is why they’re known for being indecisive). They thrive in relationships (their ruling planet is Venus), and as a cardinal sign, can make great leaders and managers–but because of their indecision, they can also be commitment-phobic. Everyone thinks that Libra is flirting with them, when Libra is only being nice. They love to talk and gossip and overthink things, and usually have too many friends. They HATE conflict and always seek to fix it as soon as possible, which is why they’re often people pleasers.

Famous Libras include Kim Kardashian (wanting to be a lawyer is very Libra), Bruce Springsteen (empathy for the working man, hello?), Usher (flirty/charisma is off the charts), and Mark Rothko (hello, aesthetics!). I am a Libra, and I mostly identify with it: I hate conflict, I love art and shopping and gossip, I consider my friends family, and I’m a bleeding heart liberal. Where I disconnect is when people talk about Libras as being these extroverted social butterflies–I am social, but I am definitely an introvert. And I don’t know that I’m super relationship-driven unless I’m with someone I’m totally obsessed with, but in my opinion, that relates more to my Venus placement anyway (which is Scorpio, same as my husband).

So, anyway, how best to celebrate Libra season? Go shopping for something that adds nothing but beauty to your home! Join a picket line! Go to a party and flirt with everyone there, but leave with no one! Spend way too long picking a nail polish color! Read some poetry or philosophy! Museum date! Yoga! Sparkle, Neely, sparkle!

- The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, season four (Bravo, Peacock). Honestly, I was not very hopeful about this season of SLC. I watched the first two episodes very begrudgingly. Last season was a mess, with scammer Jen Shah maintaining her innocence all season and playing the victim just to ultimately plead guilty at the last second. It was dark and awkward and frankly, pretty boring (Jen couldn’t leave the country, so their big cast trip was to San Diego… snooze). And then, when I heard they were adding Angie K. to the cast (yuck) and Mary Cosby as a friend-of (double yuck), I was even less hopeful about this season being different. I know that many people think that Mary’s wacky and funny, but I’ve always found her to be very snobby and ignorant and problematic in an off-putting way. Don’t get me wrong, a LOT of the Housewives are problematic, but something about Mary in particular just rubs me the wrong way, like she thinks she’s better than everyone else. Also, she believes weird conspiracy theories, like that carbonated water hardens your ovaries, which is insane.

All that said… I have to admit, after the most recent episode (S4 E3), I actually have great hope for this season of SLC! It was absolutely unhinged and chaotic, but in a fun and hilarious way! I love that they went to the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, which I have been dying to go to (rooms start at like $500 a night, so yeah, I have not been). Angie crashing a trip that she wasn’t invited on and then having the gall to be offended about the host being chilly with her is the kind of classic Housewives delulu that makes this show so great. Heather is back to being her fun, voice-of-reason self, Meredith’s clearly Adderalled out, British accent persona is fascinating, and I LOVE the addition of Monica, what a breath of fresh! Monica feels like a Jersey girl to me–blunt and funny and real. I don’t think she is, though. I also am forced to admit that Mary is much more palatable as a quirky friend-of than she ever was as a full-time Housewife. Angie K. and Whitney both irk me, but I get that they are necessary for the “story engine,” as it were. I will continue to watch, god help me!!

- I have been reading a lot of Reddit this week (I know, I know, I know). Mostly because I am addicted to drama, so I love reading r/relationships and r/AmITheAsshole and similar subs about interpersonal conflict (again: Libras love gossip). I have learned some horrifying things, like: some people willingly drink turpentine (TW: child abuse)! People can still be bride- and groomzillas, even 25 years later! And some people give their children truly tragic names! W I L D!

Okay, that’s it for now!

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top. You can also upgrade to a paid subscription if you want more content–there’s a special button for you at the bottom of this email!

Until next time—refill the well.

Love,
Liz
XOXO

How are you doing? I’m okay. I’ve had a rough week due entirely to being unemployed and dealing with American bureaucracy. I’ll write more about my adventures with the unemployment office later on (spoiler alert: they were not helpful), but please allow me to pontificate on the utter trash that is the American healthcare system, in which your access to health insurance is based on your employment. I am “lucky,” in that I am married to someone who has insurance that in theory, I should have been able to be easily added to, but for some goddamn reason, it has taken over a month to get me on his insurance. There were system errors on his company’s side that prevented me from being added to his benefits for weeks. The irony, of course, is that he literally works in the insurance industry (although not in health insurance, thank god–not a ghoul!). Then, even after I was added to his benefits, apparently, it takes 10 business days for Kaiser Permanente to put you in their system from the time that they receive your information… ELECTRONICALLY. I can’t fathom why that takes so long. Do you even know how email works?! It’s instant! WTF!

I already had to taper off one of my prescriptions because I went so long without being insured that I ran out of it. This is the smallest pill I take, 5 mg of Abilify. Want to guess how much 30 of them cost without insurance? Oh, just a cool TWO THOUSAND AMERICAN DOLLARS. Yeah, no. And fittingly enough, a side effect of withdrawal is irritability. Well, who wouldn’t be irritated after they couldn’t afford their meds?

As it is, I ponied up $440 out of my own pockets for my Wellbutrin, a decision my husband wasn’t crazy about, but I was scared of having a seizure if I went off it cold turkey, and fighting with Kaiser to cover it felt impossible in that moment. Just for reference, $440 is more than what I make in a week on unemployment, post-tax. Yeah. Kaiser might reimburse me, but they also might not. I admit that I probably should have explored other solutions first before paying full price. It’s my personal damage that makes me feel like I have to handle things all on my own, when in reality, I am not on my own. My husband has really been my teammate in this healthcare debacle, and I should have called him so we could work on this problem together as a team. My bad.

I’ve since started the process with Kaiser of getting an in-network psychiatrist who can prescribe my prescriptions to an in-network pharmacy (because apparently Kaiser does not work with normal pharmacies like Rite Aid or CVS–that would be too convenient!). Before they would refer me to one, I had to have two separate phone calls with people who asked me in about 40 different ways if I was having suicidal or homicidal thoughts. Of course, I wanted to joke, “Well, not until I had to deal with Kaiser,” but I thought that would probably not be wise. It’s frustrating because, at this point, I’ve been on the same meds for years, I’m stable, I literally JUST need a refill, but I have to go through all this bullshit to get it as if I’m brand new. Siiiigh. I can’t imagine how hard this all would be to deal with if I were genuinely in a bad mental place.

This has just been a weird time for me in general. A few weeks ago, I was walking to meet up with some friends at the vegan hot chicken place in my neighborhood, and I passed by an older woman with a walker and a maybe 30s/40s man who seemed, well, mentally unwell. “Valkyrie, valkyrie!” was the only thing he kept saying as he looked at me. The older woman laughed warmly and said, “Yes, she is a valkyrie!”

Of course, I had no idea what the fuck they were talking about, so I just smiled politely and went on my way to get my vegan chicken tendies and gossip. But a few days later, I remembered this moment and Googled about it. It turns out that a valkyrie is a female figure from Norse mythology, and her job is to guide the souls of dead warriors to Valhalla. Pretty badass! I was wearing a long sleeveless dress and had my hair tied back in my typical “it’s too fucking hot” bun, and I guess that is sort of similar to how valkyrie are often represented in art? But my maxi dress was also hot pink… so maybe the afterlife is actually Barbieland? I would be cool with that. I also had on sunglasses, silver hoop earrings, and chunky platform sandals which made me taller than my typical 5’8”. I don’t know how any of that fits into Norse mythology, but that’s cool. The Vikings seemed pretty hot, although now that I think about it, they probably smelled terrible.

Let’s get into some things:

- Cooking. I made beef and black bean chili last Friday night loosely based on this recipe, and it really hit the spot! I can’t wait until it gets a little bit cooler out and I can start cooking up all the soups and stews and baked and roasted things. Tweaks to that recipe: I omitted the carrot and Italian seasoning (‘cause what even?), went lighter on the spices and added a chopped red bell pepper, one jalapeno, and two small chipotle peppers from a can, and used smoked paprika instead of regular paprika. It was still a very mild chili but had a lot of flavor. I served it with the zucchini cornbread from Smitten Kitchen Keepers (page 23), which was super tasty. I did not make the tomato butter that Deb pairs with the cornbread in the book even though it sounded amazing, because I just did not have the energy that day after battling with the American healthcare system.

And then, this week, I made these baked chicken and pancetta meatballs. They were good, but not outstanding, and I wanted outstanding for a meal with so many steps. I will probably not make them again. I skipped the oil and tomato paste glaze and instead ate them with some barbecue sauce, as was recommended in the comments. I also served them with roasted broccoli, mashed Yukon Gold potatoes, and a chopped salad with balsamic dressing from a bag. We love a good bagged salad in our house. I guess I’m still on the hunt for the perfect chicken meatball recipe, if anyone has a good one.

- The Midnight Club (Netflix). Spooky season is here-ish, and I have been totally sucked into two horror series by writer/director Mike Flanagan (of The Haunting of Hill House). Consider me a Fanagan! (Sorry.) The first show I watched was The Midnight Club, which is based on the writings of Christopher Pike. It’s about a group of teenagers at a hospice home who all have terminal diagnoses who meet at midnight every night to tell each other stories. I totally missed this show when it came out in 2022, but I decided to give it a shot because Netflix said that the first episode broke the Guinness world record for the number of jump scares in a single episode of television, and I thought that sounded fun. I had no idea that I was in for a show that would spend so much time ruminating on death, but I actually really enjoyed it! I’m bummed that it didn’t get a second season, although Flanagan did write a Tumblr post after it was canceled explaining what would have happened, which I appreciate (spoilers spoilers spoilers, obviously).

- Midnight Mass (Netflix). I think this series is the best work Mike Flanagan’s ever done. What I think sets him apart from other horror filmmakers and showrunners is his writing and in particular the CHARACTERS, oh my god, the characters! In this show, he made me fall in love with a character who had done just about one of the worst things you can do. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Midnight Mass is about a small, struggling island community that gets a new priest at the Catholic church who reinvigorates the town… but at what cost? It came out in 2021, and I think I stayed away from it initially because I was afraid it would be too church-y and boring. To be honest, I did find the first episode a little slow, but holy shit, does it pick the fuck up after that! I was raised Catholic (now agnostic), and I think that anyone who’s been engaged with Catholicism at all has to admit, there’s a lot of things about the religion that are downright creepy! This show smartly plays on a lot of them*. It does NOT touch on the sexual abuse issue at all, in case you are sensitive to that. Another content advisory: the first scene involves a drunk driving accident.

To me, what makes Midnight Mass so good is that it has a strong story and is very focused on the execution of that story alone. Flanagan sometimes tends to be a bit “everything-and-the-kitchen-sink”-y. Like, in The Haunting of Hill House, dude just wouldn’t stop introducing new ghosts! Here a ghost, there a ghost, everywhere a ghost ghost. Apparently, Midnight Mass was a story he’d been working on for many years before it got made, so it makes sense that it’s so tight. The performances are also wonderful–Zach Gilford, Hamish Linklater, and Samantha Sloyan should have won all the awards! And the writing! I couldn’t sleep after watching the ending of episode six. Probably some of the best TV I’ve ever seen. Certainly some of the best horror. I feel like I can’t say more about it without spoiling it, but yeah, check it out if you’re looking for a good spooky! I’m definitely looking forward to Mike Flanagan’s new show, The Fall of the House of Usher, coming to Netflix on October 12th. It’s a modern take on Edgar Allen Poe’s stories, and I can’t wait.

* I didn’t find the show to be disrespectful of Catholicism in general, more critical of people who use religion in ways it shouldn’t be used. But I’m not a practicing Catholic, so take that with a grain of salt.

- I guess I was one of the “lucky” people on unemployment randomly selected to receive additional “resources.” I don’t mean to be rude, but the government-supported employment services are fucking trash. I got a letter in the mail about a mandatory virtual meeting I had to have, with no information about where or how to join it, just that I could get kicked off of unemployment if I didn’t go. I tried to email someone about it and got no response. Instead, the day before the meeting, the person I was supposed to meet with called me and left a voicemail saying, “We have a meeting tomorrow but I’m guessing you’re not planning on attending.” Um, wtf? I called her back and told her I WAS planning on attending, but did not know how, and she finally fucking emailed me a Zoom link. It really felt like a set-up: require a meeting and then give me no way to join it. Bravo!

The first 20 minutes of the meeting were wasted on her sorting out other Zoom meetings with three of her coworkers. Why were they all in the same Zoom meeting as us? Unclear. Then, one-on-one, we went over my resume in the CalJOBS system, something else that was mandatory. She had to select a job type from a system dropdown menu that of course didn’t have any options that fit me. “Content Programming Specialist” really mystified her. “Is that like an Editor?” she asked me. Nope. Not at all. “Sure!” I said, to keep it moving. I watched her put down “Camera Operator” for another one of my roles. Not even close, but okay.

This is the biggest problem, to me. I feel like, unless you have a Richard Scarry job, you know, firefighter, postal worker, nurse, teacher, worm in a fucking apple car, they have no idea what to do with you. And I get it on some level–my parents don’t understand what I do at all.** But come ON. You’re supposed to be the goddamn employment services office of Los Angeles. You should have SOME kind of understanding of jobs in the entertainment industry, no? Otherwise, what are we even doing here? THIS IS THE BIGGEST INDUSTRY IN YOUR CITY. (Not to mention, I listed all my job duties right on my resume, dude.)

She also told me that I should be willing to take up to a 20% pay cut in order to accept a new position. I’ve been underpaid for years as it is, but I don’t think she understood that. Again, I get it. I looked up what people in the California EDD make (Employment Development Department), and it’s not much. They are probably all overworked and underpaid. I can sympathize. But it really felt to me that their main objective is trying to get people to get off of unemployment benefits as soon as they can in any way possible, not helping people find the right job for them. I don’t love being on the dole, either, but I pay my taxes. I’ve contributed plenty over the years. It’s not like I’m getting rich off of $450 a week, pre-tax.

At the end of the meeting, she told me they wanted to offer me additional resources, namely, an in-person workshop next Friday morning. I was pretty annoyed by this time and dropped the niceness mask. “Do I have to?” I asked. “Well, yes,” she said. Siiiigh. I know I’m unemployed, but even so, if this is anything like the meeting we just had, this is going to be the biggest fucking waste of my time. 

Then, she sent me a list of websites that were supposed to be helpful job-hunting resources. Have you guys heard of this site, LinkedIn.com? I mean, how is that not an example of them doing the absolute bare minimum? The best part is that she also listed a whole bunch of casting websites for actors. Lady, did you not notice that there’s a fucking strike going on?! Also, what a suggestion! Can’t find a job? Definitely try to become an actor, because THAT’S a stable career!

I’m not trying to be a dick. I just honestly think that they’re not there to help us, but to police us.

**It’s pretty easy to explain what I do. You know how you can stream video content on different apps? Like YouTube and Prime Video and such? Someone has to put it up there. That’s me. Of course there are a lot of different components to that process that I’ve been involved with (file ingestion, metadata, curation), but that’s pretty much it.

- I have done a lot of complaining in this newsletter, and in my opinion, rightfully so (I didn’t even tell you about the frustrating situation with my student loans, or the termite infestation in my apartment). But let’s end on a more positive note, shall we? Sometimes when I am feeling down and trying to go to sleep, I make lists in my head: five things I’m grateful for, five things I’m looking forward to, five things I love about my cat, or five things I love about my husband. Let’s end with five good things that happened in the past week:

1. My dark comedy screenplay Hey Hun was a Second Rounder in the Austin Film Festival screenplay competition, meaning in the top 20%! This is the fourth accolade this script has gotten this year!

2. Just this week I was able to bump up the distance I normally walk on my stupid health walks to be twice as long as when I started!

3. On Tuesday night I went out with friends and had some really tasty margaritas on a lovely rooftop deck that made me miss Mexico and want to plan another trip there!

4. I received a wedding invite to my friends’ cool winter wedding in Brooklyn!

5. I bought tickets for a drag show in Tokyo for our December trip!! I can’t wait to see what Japanese drag is like!

And there you have it.

Don’t forget to like and comment on this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top. You can also catch up on all the premium content I’ve released so far right here.

Until next time—screw bureaucracy.

Love,
Liz
XOXO

How are you? If you’re in the U.S., I hope you had a lovely Labor Day weekend. Growing up in New Jersey, Labor Day always felt like the “true” end of summer, because we went back to school right afterwards. Living in Southern California, the end of summer is a more amorphous thing. Kids go back to school in August, September is usually the hottest month of the year, and the warm weather continues into October. I never feel like the season has really changed to fall until I swap out my box fan for the space heater, which usually happens well into spooky season.

It probably doesn’t help that many of my neighbors here in Highland Park keep seasonally inappropriate holiday decorations up all year ‘round. I’m not just talking about Christmas lights, either; there’s a “Happy Easter” sign with eggs and bunnies, some foil hearts that went up around Valentine’s Day and never came back down, and one neighbor down the street has had a plastic jack o’ lantern on their roof for a year that’s actually about to come back into seasonality, so good for them. They also have a vicious black pug that barks my head off anytime I come within 100 feet of it. I always wonder, if it got out from behind their fence, would it be one of those dogs that barks a lot but actually smothers you in kisses once it meets you? Maybe that’s wishful thinking, and it’s just a poorly trained dog, like so many small dogs in L.A. I’ll update you if I ever get to formally meet it!

Last time I wrote to you, I was about to head off to San Francisco, and boy, did I have a wonderful time up there! I was only there for two nights, taking advantage of my husband’s free hotel room during his business trip there, but I feel like I packed a lot in. I had oysters and french fries at Hog Island overlooking the bay, I went to visit the sea lions at Fisherman’s Wharf, then rode a cable car all the way back downtown. I got a burrito at La Taqueria in the Mission and walked it off while hoofing it to Dolores Park. And I got to see Weezer at the Greek, an outdoor music venue on the UC Berkeley campus.

I have to say, I did not care much for that venue. It was a general admission show, and I didn’t get there early enough to snag one of the stone benches, so I was up on the lawn above them, which was probably more comfortable, anyway, although I did get a grass stain on my overpriced Madewell jeans, if anyone has any tips on getting that out. (Look, they’re the first non-skinny jeans I’ve bought in 10 years, it was kind of a big deal to invest in them, Millennial that I am.)

I was planning on attending the show alone, but then my husband, Ross, was able to leave his work event earlier than expected and join me. I had such a good time with him! I often think of Ross as being so different than me, because he’s athletic and I’m not, and he’s stable and works a real job and I’m artsy and will follow my dreams off a cliff, but then I catch him singing along to a Weezer song I had no idea he knew and it feels like when we were 22 and I was first falling in love with him and I was so delighted to find out that he watched Summer Heights High, too, and liked the same comedy as me. I love the stability of marriage, but it is nice to get those butterflies again once in a while, too. (If he is reading this, I bet he is totally rolling his eyes at me. “Wow, glad you realized you still like me.”)

Weezer put on an incredible show and I was so glad that I was there to see it (they have a few more shows in the US and then some in Australia if you can catch them), but the biggest highlight of the trip for me was getting to visit my friends in Alameda. They have a five and a half year-old who just started kindergarten, and the last time I saw him, he was so little, he couldn’t even talk yet. This time, he was all bursting with energy and “Wanna see my room?” and “What’s your favorite color?” What a delightful child! Sometimes people assume that because I don’t want children of my own, I must hate kids, but I actually love spending time with kiddos! They’re hilarious, and so much fun! To paraphrase Whoopi Goldberg, I just don’t want somebody in my house. But being a fun auntie? Truly, the role I was born to play!

Now I’m back in Los Angeles until a little desert trip in October for my birthday. Ross and I usually go away in September for our anniversary, but the conference he attends every year in San Diego falls over that day, and this time I am NOT tempted to tag along. I don’t really “get” San Diego. It feels like where all the people who were really into Greek life in college moved, and I went to a liberal arts college that didn’t have fraternities or sororities. We had an official student circus troop instead. San Diego is weird because it’s kind of conservative, but it’s also all about the laidback beach lifestyle, but it’s also all about the military, but it also has really good beer and seafood and Mexican food, but also some people own guns. It’s chill, but also not chill at all. I don’t know, it’s all just a little too much for me. Some people prefer it to L.A., but I don’t really get what San Diego is supposed to have that Los Angeles doesn’t. Sorry!!

There are a lot of things I’m looking forward to in these last few months of 2023. A comedic web series I directed is finally going to premiere (more on that soon), I get to celebrate one of my best friends getting married in New York City in the fall (the best place on Earth for fall!), and then in December: Japan! But before all of that happens, let’s get into some things:

- Cooking. Lest you think that I am always making fancy, gourmet dishes, I have a friend who made fun of Ross and me last time he visited town because he said that we’re “always making hot dogs.” Which is not fair! He just happens to keep visiting us during summer holiday weekends, when, yeah, of COURSE we’re making hot dogs, is this not AMERICA?! Yes, hot dogs are gross because who knows what’s in them, but so are a lot of delicious foods, like queso dip from a jar, McNuggets, and blue Slurpees. I’m a high-low kind of gal. And honestly, this friend should understand that, too, because we were talking about grilled cheeses once, and when I said I make mine with gruyere and sharp cheddar, he said he just uses American singles. Your Honor, I rest my case!

I also made a dish referred to as “pizza beans” that is basically white beans in tomato sauce baked with mozzarella on top, served with crusty bread. I used canned cannellini beans and pre-shredded mozz, and can you get humbler than that? I guess you could use a jarred marinara instead of making the tomato sauce yourself. I haven’t made this dish in years, and it was SO good! It also seems like it would please kids who are picky about vegetables, or adults who are weird about meatless meals. Maybe. I don’t know your particular picky person, but cover something in cheese and everyone is good, no?

- Hungry Crowd. Last Sunday, some friends invited Ross and me to brunch at this Korean/comfort food fusion place in Toluca Lake, and holy crap, it was so good! First of all, they serve their mimosas in pint glasses, which is unhinged. But the food was also insane, in the best way! We shared the kimchi biscuits as a table, and I got the bulgogi eggs benedict, which I know sounds incredibly indulgent, but I thought everything was very well-portioned (well, except for the mimosas). Ross got the chicken and waffles and was a little disappointed because he was expecting more of a bonchon-style chicken with a sweet and sticky glaze, when it was just regular crispy. I have to agree with him that that would have been a better preparation, but he said it was still really tasty. I would definitely recommend this place to anyone who happens to be in the area! The menu is huge, so there should be something for everyone on it.

- Sun Haven (Steam). I recently got tooootally sucked into this cozy farming sim, which also has elements of fantasy and combat. It’s easy to compare it to Stardew Valley, but I think there are some things that Sun Haven does better than Stardew, and some things that it doesn’t do as well. Regardless, this is yet another game that had me so consumed, I barely ate for days while playing it. I actually started to get stressed out about managing my farm(s). There are even crops you can grow in winter in this game, so you never get a fucking break. One thing I don’t like is that if you get past five hearts with an NPC, you’re suddenly automatically dating them? That’s so fast! And their dates are always so lame, like “come to my house and I’ll talk at you about my backstory for 10 minutes before I say it’s getting late.” And then, why can’t I romance certain other characters, like the drunk elf who never leaves the tavern? Hello! Mama needs to save somebody from hims(elf)!

- Class of ‘07 (free on Prime Video). This Australian comedy series is about what happens when the apocalypse hits during a 10-year class reunion at a private all-girls Catholic boarding high school. The cast is all women, and it passes the Bechdel test with flying colors. It’s like if Yellowjackets was a comedy, with notes of Orange Is the New Black (an all-female cast finds themselves with limited resources and creates their own hierarchy, etc.). I’ll be honest, I thought the first episode was a bit rough, but the show really finds its rhythm as it goes on. I also want to warn you that there are quite a few gross-out moments, so maybe don’t eat dinner while you watch it. Hey, survival is disgusting. But overall, I really liked it, and thought it was well worth a watch! I’m still a bit confused about why this was set in 2017, though…?

- Here is a list of movies that I’ve seen over the past few months that I enjoyed and recommend but don’t have like a whole thing to say about them:

• The Blackening

• Decision to Leave

• Banshees of Inisherin

• Top Gun: Maverick

• The Out-Laws

• Joy Ride

• Fast X (fun but omg this was so long, they literally brought back every character who’s ever been in the franchise)

- Mitch McConnell freezing up in front of the press for the second time. If you don’t know who this man is, I envy you; also, he’s the Senate Minority Leader, which means he’s the Republican Party’s bitch. He’s a conservative extremist, and more or less stands for everything I’m against. He was pretty instrumental in laying the groundwork for Roe v. Wade getting overturned. He is also 81 years young!

The first time he froze up in front of the press, I saw the video, and my honest-to-god knee-jerk reaction was, “Oh my God, I hope he’s okay.” I know. What the fuck was that? Look, I was a human reacting to another human in poor health, okay? Or, maybe, a human reacting to a lizard person in poor health, who can say? But then I took a breath and realized: wait a second, this man wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire. He has spent his career working tirelessly to strip me and so many others of our rights and make life harder for us. He’s a fucking ghoul. And while I don’t think it’s good karma to wish death upon anyone, it just seems impossibly cruel that he is still in this world while Pee-wee Herman is not. Fuck!

I feel very conflicted about the Boomers these days. Some days, I’m like, oh my gosh, I wish they’d all just get raptured already so that we’d have a chance at a functional government that would actually do something about climate change. But then other days, I’m like, but my parents are Boomers! I don’t want them to go yet!

At least, if they were retiring from powerful government positions, we might have a shot. I honestly don’t understand why anyone with that kind of wealth would want to continue working into their 80s. Forbes says that Mx. McConnell’s net worth is $30 million (I just know he would hate a gender-neutral honorific). If I had that kind of money, I’d build a time machine so I could retire even SOONER than the earliest possible second. I’m unemployed, and I still wish I worked less. I would keep writing, because I love writing, but you couldn’t catch me sponsoring a bill or trying to stack the Supreme Court. For what? To make another crooked dollar I won’t live long enough to spend? Bitch, get out of here! I’d be on a beach somewhere with a frozen drink in my hand, the kind with a little umbrella in it. Or in Beverly Hills, getting an incredibly expensive, experimental beauty treatment that will make my skin glow so much it’s actually kind of unsettling. Or I would be putting a second water slide on my mansion that goes from my bedroom into the pool, because what if my husband and I want to slide at the same time? Ooh. I can think of so many things that are more fun than working.

And then, I guess, the counterpoint is: Biden. He’s 80, and up for re-election, and I hope he wins?? I mean, the alternatives are pretty gruesome at this point. De Santis is a literal Disney villain waging a genocide against trans people, Trump can’t stop won’t stop getting indicted, who even likes creepy-ass Mike Pence?? and don’t even get me started on Chris Christie. As someone from New Jersey, let me tell you, you should NEVER trust our politicians, because even the Dems are corrupt as shit, and Christie has proven himself to be awful many times over. But as one of the rare Republican Trump critics, is he the least awful one running for the Republican presidential ticket? And does that even matter? Are we really giving out pats on the back now for being the most reasonable death cult member?

Woof! Thanks for letting me rant! I hope you know that I was mostly joking about, well, everything.

- Let’s end on a more positive note. I was reading a bit about Jimmy Buffett this week, after he passed (I swear, this is going to get more upbeat). He basically built a career out of being a chill dude who loves Hawaiian shirts and margaritas and being on vacation. While some artists resent their most popular songs and try to distance themselves from them as they get older, Buffett rode “Margaritaville” and “Cheeseburger in Paradise” all the way to the bank. Did you know that with all of his business ventures, he was one of the world’s richest musicians, with a net worth of $1 billion? And yet, by all accounts, he was somehow not a dick. He held fundraisers for Florida Democrats, bless him, even though that alienated some of his conservative fans. I feel like half of his fan base lives in Florida, so that’s a pretty big deal.

I think what we should all take away from Jimmy Buffett’s legacy is to be true to ourselves, spread joy, and try to have more fun in everything we do. Also: dream big. He wrote “Margaritaville” in 1977, and it could have been a one-hit wonder, but over 40+ years, it became a giant, multifaceted international brand. I’m not saying that we should take all our artistic ideas and turn them into casinos. I just think that Jimmy Buffett proves that you don’t have to be a workaholic to have ambition or be successful. You can be the guy who loves taking it easy. That is a pretty radical idea, under capitalism.

That’s it for this week’s newsletter! Next week, I’ll be sending out September’s premium newsletter, but if you’re a free subscriber, you’ll be able to read the intro part before the paywall.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top. You can also upgrade to a paid subscription if you want more content–there’s a special button for you at the bottom of this email!

Until next time—take it easy.

Love,
Liz
XOXO

How are you?? I’m doing pretty well! As I write this, we are at the tail end of Hurricane Hilary’s presence in Los Angeles. Imagine: a hurricane in Southern California! How fun! I have to admit, I did not prepare at all. I remember the first time a big hurricane hit New York while I was living there, I bought giant gallon jugs of water and canned foods, taped X’s on my windows, and filled my tub up with water. For Hilary, I was like, “Eh, we have a ton of La Croix and candles from Anthropologie, we’ll be fiiiiine.” I did buy a bunch of food, but it was all perishable and in the fridge, so we’d have been fucked if the power went out. I guess you could say that I did not take this one very seriously. I just figured it would rain a lot, and after this winter, I was pretty confident that my apartment could handle rain. Luckily, that held true. It’s hard to say the damage as I write this, but I’m hoping it was pretty minimal.

Oddly enough, I have some fond memories of hurricanes Irene and Sandy from my time in New York. I know that Sandy fucked that area up big time, but the biggest impact on me in Prospect Heights was that I didn’t have to go to my cubicle job that I hated for a whole week because their servers were underwater or something. This was back in the Dark Ages, before work from home was a thing, so I would have to literally call into the office every time it snowed or stormed and wait for the nasty HR woman’s voice on a recording saying the office was closed. (I think it’s a rule at most corporate jobs that HR has to be the most unpleasant, human-hating person alive.) My boyfriend at the time (now husband 😇) biked into work in Manhattan from Brooklyn a couple times while the city was still fucked up, and I remember him saying how spooky it was in lower Manhattan with all the street lights out.

We were in our mid-20s, so those hurricanes came with all sorts of reckless, foolish behavior, like getting drunk with friends and said friends going out into the rain and wind in the streets in their bathing suits. I recall that during Irene, one dear friend, while very drunk, poured rum on a coffee table and danced in it. During Sandy, he and another good buddy came over post-bar and he played my rarely-used guitar while I made cacio e pepe for everyone. We called him the Hurricane Savant. Fond, fond memories.

One thing that Hurricane Hilary had that Irene and Sandy did NOT have, though, was an earthquake! Or, as I like to call it, a hurriquake. We got so many emergency alerts on our phones on Sunday, it was hard to keep up, but one of them was from the USGS about an earthquake saying, “DROP, COVER, AND HOLD ON.” I crawled under my desk and then of course went on my phone on my now-defunct Twitter account to see if it had already happened and I missed it. Apparently, it was a 5.5 up in Ojai, so my friends on the west side definitely felt it, but I didn’t feel shit in Highland Park. Which is just as well, since my desk is currently covered in make-up as a makeshift vanity table, and I would have had Super Shock shadows raining down on my head. Like I said, I’m very prepared for natural disasters here.

One question I still have: what am I supposed to do with my cat during an earthquake? What CAN I even do? I know that animals are supposed to have an innate sense for these kinds of geological disturbances, but she seemed blissfully unaware, flopped in sleep on her perch next to my desk the whole time. If I’d tried to grab her and bring her under my desk, she for sure would have squirmed out of my arms. So like… I guess she’s on her own? Idk. I don’t like it, though.

I’m sending this early because I’m headed up to the Bay Area on Wednesday through Friday. My husband, Ross, has a work trip there, and I decided to tag along and take advantage of the free hotel room to see some friends in the area and eat some burritos. I also realized that Weezer was playing a show there during this time. Can you believe I’ve never seen them live before? They are not playing L.A. on their summer tour, so my only options to see them were getting a hotel in San Diego to see them over Labor Day weekend or flying up to San Francisco, and it actually turned out that flying up to San Francisco was more economical (although, regrettably, much less carbon-friendly). I’m considering this writing research for a thing I’m working on, so maybe I can even write it off! (I’m joking, please don’t send the IRS after me. I’m even having them take taxes out of my unemployment checks, see, I’m responsible!)

I know: is flying to another city to go to a Weezer concert really the smartest use of my money right now, considering I don’t have a job or any prospects? Well, like I said, the hotel room was free. This is one of those ridiculous expenses I file away in the “I don’t have kids, so YOLO” folder, along with buying a special outfit for seeing the Barbie movie and the Mary-Kate and Ash-Tray.

By the way, someone recently asked me what I thought of the Barbie movie and I realized that I never shared my thoughts in here. I loved it! Of course I did. What other reaction could I possibly have? I’m a feminist, and I loved Barbies growing up. I had about 400 Barbies and maybe 2 Kens, one of which was an Aladdin doll, I think. My Barbies were all divorced or widowed and strong independent women. In my headcanon, they also all lived in San Francisco. Maybe because of Full House? I always wanted to live in California, even though I had never been there. And now I do, although I don’t live in a three-story house with a rooftop pool like my Barbies did. Those capitalist bitches.

Alright, should we get into this? I really just have one topic I want to write about today: And Just Like That. So, here are some AJLT things:

- Stanford Blatch becoming a Shinto monk. Oh, Stanny. If you’re unaware, Willie Garson, the actor who played Carrie’s gay bestie Stanford passed away in 2021 at age 57 from pancreatic cancer. If I’m not mistaken, he appeared in at least one episode from the first season of And Just Like That, but his absence was definitely felt as the show went on without him. It’s always a horrible, awkward thing when a TV show has to reckon with the death of one of its actors. I think the best I’ve seen it handled was by The Sopranos, with the character of Livia (played by Nancy Marchand). Even though they’d planned for her to be a long-standing source of conflict for Tony, him working through his grief and anger and other emotions about her sudden death actually made the show better. When an actor passes and they choose to have their character pass on the show, too, it also kind of allows everyone the space to process that loss, and gives a finality to their character arc that other options don’t.

Like, for example, having their character move to Japan and become a Shinto monk.

Okay. A few things. I totally get why the show would not want to write in another character’s death after the earth-shattering impact of losing Mr. Big in the first season. We already had a whole season about Carrie’s grief, and losing Stanford would just be… too much. I also think it’s lovely that the ending the show gave him had him finding happiness and peace.

That said… what the fucking fuck?! A monk?

Look, I honestly don’t know if I could’ve come up with anything better, it’s just… odd. And I’m sad that Stanford, who we’ve seen go through many ups and downs in his personal life, did not find the love he deserved. Yeah, he found love within himself and inner peace, blah blah blah, but that’s not the point. He didn’t have anyone to dick him down real good! I always thought it was a bad choice when they had him end up with Anthony (which I think happened in one of the movies, right?). Anthony, who was such a little asshole to him about not looking enough like a young Ed Harris when they first met. That writing choice was like every straight girl when they get a second gay friend and decide they need to matchmake because now they know two gay men and wouldn’t it be so cuuute and funnn if they got together??

Actually, if it weren’t for Anthony’s arc in this current season, I would say that Stanford becoming a literal monk is another example of Hollywood neutering gay men by removing sex from their storylines in order to make them more palatable for their presumed audience. However, this new plotline about Anthony losing his “ass virginity” is actually great and smart and the kind of classic intersection of sexuality and modern dating norms that Sex And the City was always so great at handling. (And I sincerely hope that that’s why Samantha is calling. “Honey, I heard someone’s losing their ass virginity! Where do I send the champagne?”)

- Che’s standup set about Miranda. Hooooo boy. As a comedy writer who often writes about my life and occasionally about the people in it, I thought this storyline was so, so interesting, because every writer I know has different boundaries when it comes to this issue. Some, like Che Diaz, have no boundaries at all! And yet, they somehow expect other people to not have a problem with that? Wild!!!

There is a popular quote among writers from Anne Lamott in Bird by Bird that goes, “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” And while I agree that we own our own stories, I don’t believe that we own everyone’s story that falls within our stories, if that makes sense. To put it simply, you can’t write about other people and publish or perform it for an audience and then expect them not to feel a way about it! That is called being an asshole!

I don’t consider myself an especially private person about many things (pretty sure I’ve told you my exact antidepressant cocktail down to the dosages before), but one thing I take very seriously is not fucking up my relationship with my husband. Before he was my husband, or my fiancé, or even my boyfriend, he was one of my very best friends, and so when we started dating, I felt the weight and importance of that, of preserving our friendship and protecting his trust in me. So, from the beginning of me as a writer, I have always checked in with him before I published anything remotely questionable about him, from long stories that he factored into down to funny snippets of our conversations that barely a few hundred followers would see. Now, have I fucked up, and had to apologize or take something down? Oh, you know it! I will say, now that we’re on year 14, I have a pretty good sense of what he would consider objectionable, but I still check in with him sometimes. For one thing, boundaries are not static. And for another, his mom reads these email newsletters.

That’s the thing about writing about people in your life. Everyone has different boundaries, and they can shift depending on the situation. For instance, with Ross, there are some things that I know he’d be fine with me mentioning in here, like recently, when I told you that he was away visiting family. There are other occasions where he’s been cool with me sharing something conditionally, like sharing a screenshot of a text exchange between us as long as he is anonymous. And still other times, he’s just like, “Nope, you can’t post that,” and I can be grumpy and whine about it, but I accept it. What I DON’T do is post it anyway and try to justify away his righteous feelings of hurt with, “I’m a comedy writer! I write about my life!” like Che did in this most recent episode.

But also, if I’ve ever published something about you that you felt was crossing a boundary, I’m truly sorry! As you can see, I try to be very conscientious about that kind of thing. You can always tell me, and I can edit it or take it down, as the case may be. I actually have some friends who love reading about themselves in here, and wish that I would write about them MORE, lol. You can tell me that, too.

Che was writing/talking about a person who was no longer really a part of their life, so that’s obviously a slightly different situation, but I still think they were the asshole in that situation. Frankly, there are people who are no longer in my life who treated me very poorly who I don’t write about because… well, first of all, some of them are straight-up narcissists, and they would enjoy it too much. But also, I wouldn’t be coming from a good place in writing about them, and they would be right to be upset about it if they found out. And who wants someone who was a jerk to you to be right about something?

I think another issue with Che’s set was that they weren’t centering themselves as the butt of the joke, it was all at Miranda’s expense. If you’re going to claim that you own your stories then they actually have to be your stories, you have to be the main character. That’s my rule, anyway, and it’s worked pretty well for me so far. There’s a reason why the number one question that David Sedaris gets asked is, “What does your family think about you writing about them?” It’s because a lot of people would not be okay with their brother or son sharing a story like that about them. He has said that his family loves it, and he wouldn’t be writing about them if they didn’t. And I think that’s pretty much the long and short of it. If you want to maintain good relationships with the people you write about, you either know their boundaries really well, you keep them anonymous, or you check in with them. Now, quick, someone go tell that to Che Diaz so they can salvage their friendship with Miranda and stay as a character on this show.

- Let’s end this newsletter talking about something totally different: Virgo season! It starts on the 23rd, and I am so ready for that gentle earth sign energy. Virgos are grounded, sensitive, introspective, kind, supportive, practical, type A perfectionists. They love to clean and organize, and be outside with nature. They are the prime suspects in “oops, I brought home another plant.” They are hardworking and can be a little neurotic at times. They give great hugs and make very good friends, although sometimes they’re in their feelings and isolate. Did I mention they are perfectionists?

It occurred to me recently that three of my best guy friends from college (I’m including my husband in that) are all earth signs. These dudes really feel more like family than friends to me at this point (or “familia,” we’re also unfortunately cemented by the bonds of the Fast and the Furious franchise. It’s a long story, and I’m not really even sure how it began). They are all very grounded people, and complement my floaty, expansive air sign energy. Earth signs make awesome friends, is what I’m saying. Virgos are wonderful listeners, Tauruses are loyal AF, and Capricorns will always call you on your bullshit. Guess which one I’m married to! (It’s the Cappy, duh.)

Of course Beyoncé is the most famous celebrity Virgo (she even wrote a groove for the season), which makes sense. Again: perfectionists! Other famous Virgos in history include Amy Winehouse (sensitive!), John Locke (practical!), and Mary Shelley (um, obsessed with the natural world much?).

So, how best to celebrate Virgo season? Clean your home and get into that new school year energy! Journal in a park! Obsess over an email you wrote! Adopt a new pet or plant! Get stoned and go to a natural history museum! Go to an outdoor concert and become one with the trees and the vibes! Get really upset about something critical your mom said once! Keep it grounded and feel your feelings!

And with that, I’ll bid you adieu until my next newsletter, two weeks from now.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top. You can also upgrade to a paid subscription if you want more content–there’s a special button for you at the bottom of this email!

Until next time—seriously, a fucking monk?

Love,
Liz
XOXO